Top five celebrity restaurant fails

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Nothing is sadder than when celebrities dabble in the food-service industry and fail miserably at it -- except when the food fails are so completely predictable that even a dumb-as-a-rock celebrity should have known better. Over the weekend the lady-centric (and arguably un-feminist) steakhouse SHe by Morton's that Eva Longoria opened in 2012 shuttered; it appears to have died faster than Longoria's straight-to-video film Carlita's Secret. But this former Desperate Housewife is far from the first celeb to have a flash-in-the-pan eatery flame out. And as long as there are limelight-hungry (but oversaturated) beautiful people willing to lend their names to restaurant ventures, she will not be the last.

Here are the top five failed celebrity restaurants. It sure doesn't pay to have too much on your plate at one time.

See also: Southern Hospitality BBQ is a meat defeat

At least bring back the hat, Chrissie!

5) Chrissie Hynde's VegiTerranean

Pretenders' Chrissie Hynde opened the VegiTerranean vegan restaurant in Akron, Ohio, in late 2007, and then cited the shitty economy as the reason it closed up shop in 2011. Hynde was putting her money where her mouth was in creating this meatless mirage in Ohio, of all places, and since she is a vegetarian, animal-rights activist and supporter of both PETA and Viva!, her vegan bakery, coffee house, bar and restaurant concept probably seemed like the best idea since sprouted wheat bread. But the vegan eatery idea was probably a bit more Portland than Akron, and unfortunately didn't make her much brass in pocket.

Perhaps if Hynde had waited tables in her iconic waitress outfit from the video, the place would have stayed open a tad longer -- but now we will never know.

Glad as hell Brit didn't quit her night job.

4) Britney Spears' NYLA

Nineties pop princess Britney Spears loaned her name-fame to NYLA (it stands for New York and Los Angeles, her favorite cities) in 2002, but her Southern-fusion American bistro concept suffered from the same identity crises as Spears herself from the get-go. The Manhattan eatery was plagued with such problems such as menu flip-flops (from weird Cajun food to more traditional Italian), health-code violations, ripped-off vendors and outright mismanagement. NYLA lasted six months before it went into bankruptcy and closed, and there may have been a few people shocked by this.

The moral of this story is...schoolgirl skirts and magical dance moves are all fine and well, but running a restaurant takes actual experience and dedication and if you don't know d*cks from donuts about it, don't do it.

Lady-sized steaks? Where's the beef?

3) Eva Longoria's SHe by Morton's

Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria's short-lived female-centric steakhouse, SHe by Morton's, was parked in a posh Las Vegas strip shopping center, featured a catwalk (yes, you are all now stuck with that Too Sexy song in your heads for the rest of the day), diminutive portion sizes for ladies' delicate appetites, and mirrors on the backs of the dessert menus for lipstick checks. Apparently this womanly steakhouse was just a bit too pink in the middle to thrive, even in Vegas. The restaurant ostensibly closed over the weekend due to a disagreement with the landlord over the space, but it's possible that a business plan patronizing women just didn't turn women into loyal patrons.

Longoria's dainty meat venture was probably a bit too Sex in the City campy to survive long. So sorry, Eva--your customers just weren't that into you.

Keep reading for two more celebrity restaurant fails.

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Blayne McMillan
Blayne McMillan

"Can you smell what the Hulkster is cookin'?!" "Yes, it smells very burnt"


JenniFurr must've gotten out of rehab!

DonkeyHotay topcommenter

You forgot to mention Flava-Flav's Fried Chicken  ... Yeah Boi !!

DonkeyHotay topcommenter

... we missed your cheerful demeanor!

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