Five Disturbing New Pieces of Food Service Technology
The machines are rising again, and the food service industry is making it happen. Technological advances aren't always a bad thing, and lately there have been some pretty effin' cool mechanical grub-stuffers out there, like the Burrito Box vending machine in West Hollywood (we need this badly!) and the Frobot in Washington D.C. that dispenses fresh frozen yogurt (we really need this!). But on the flip side, there are a few robotic monstrosities trolling around that should scare the dangles off of the human population.
Here's a list of five disturbing new pieces of food service technology. These new bots will probably scare the hell out of Baskin-Robbins employees, Pizza Hut, everyone with foodie friends on Facebook, and minimum wage workers.
Baskin-Robbins cake decorators should be on high alert for Unifiller Systems' Deco-Bot: a high-tech robotic cake-decorating machine that can automatically frost cakes as well as create swirls, rosettes, writing, and yes, those pain-in-the-ass buttercream roses. In true "they-took-our-jobs!" style, this bakery equipment could eliminate carpal tunnel and arthritis in cake decorators on the job -- by replacing frosting-bag wielding workers with cold stainless steel. Sadly, eradicating actual jobs will be the price we all will pay to have perfectly symmetrical icing roses on our birthday cakes.
The tiny buttercream carrots on carrot cakes, however, look just as dismal being squirted out of the machine as they do when people pipe them by hand, proving that some things cannot be improved upon with technology.
It's a pizza vending machine, because of course it is. Box Brands out of L.A., makers of the beloved Burrito Box, is fixing to test its new pie-box tech in the next few months, and in an enthusiastic bid to crush Pizza Hut restaurants everywhere, these vending bots will flash-cook a frozen pizza and pop it out in about a minute and a half. A company rep told Business Insider that these machines will be like ATMs for food, or "AFFMs," automatic fast-food machines.
Pizza Hut, this is an opportune time for you to finally get around to creating the voice-activated, pizza-puck hydrator from Back to the Future II.
There is nothing more pathetic, telling and sad-sack than seeing your office mates parked at their desks, scooping semi-lukewarm globs of microwave meals in their mouths -- thus encapsulating everything that's wrong with our workaholic culture. Helping to make sure cubicle junkies stay that way forever is British designer Steve Gates, who recently invented the Brainwave USB-powered desktop microwave, just big enough to house a single frozen dinner. This depressing, mechanical commentary on the American dream is still in its conception phase, but it will absolutely end up in offices everywhere, because there is no god.
I will almost definitely buy one.
For more disturbing food-bots, read on...