The Top Five New Taco Bell "Dollar Cravings" Menu Items

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Taco Bell has gone and done it again, and by "it" I mean given me another reason to fuck my common sense into the dirt and hit the drive-through, late at night, like the filthy pintos and cheese addict I am (but try not to be). Bell's new "Dollar Cravings" menu has eleven items on it, but only five of them are worth checking out and -- shocker -- the cheese roll-up isn't one of them.

Here's a list of the top five new Taco Bell dollar cravings menu items. Chipotle still has class, track lighting and fresh guac, but I'm afraid this round goes to Taco Bell.

See also: How low would Taco Bell's prices have to be for you to stop going to Chipotle?



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Five Disturbing New Pieces of Food Service Technology

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The machines are rising again, and the food service industry is making it happen. Technological advances aren't always a bad thing, and lately there have been some pretty effin' cool mechanical grub-stuffers out there, like the Burrito Box vending machine in West Hollywood (we need this badly!) and the Frobot in Washington D.C. that dispenses fresh frozen yogurt (we really need this!). But on the flip side, there are a few robotic monstrosities trolling around that should scare the dangles off of the human population.

Here's a list of five disturbing new pieces of food service technology. These new bots will probably scare the hell out of Baskin-Robbins employees, Pizza Hut, everyone with foodie friends on Facebook, and minimum wage workers.

See also: Red Robin's Burger Works: Rise of the machine


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Five More New and Incredibly Peculiar Foods

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Photo from culinarybrodown.com
Social media always seems to be dripping with photos and snippets about strange, exciting, disgusting and occasionally hideous edible creations. Some of these constructions turn out to be Photoshopped fakes and some we all wish were not real. This last week alone has produced everything from a horrific hundred-dollar hot dog soaked in cognac to the apotheosis of all Bloody Mary cocktails, garnished with an entire fried chicken.

Good, bad, ugly or just wrong, here's a list of five new and peculiar foods. Look forward to gummy peppers, nachos with a hint of green and what Cinnabon is doing to help customers slide into early graves.

See also: The top five weirdest new fetish foods


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Five Best Dishes Invented in Denver -- From Fool's Gold Loaf to the Mexican Hamburger

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Fool's Gold Loaf at Nick's Cafe.
From its rolling prairies to its purple mountains majesty, Colorado is full of natural beauty. But this state is also home to many manmade marvels, too: Everything from Coors to Jolly Rancher candies to some of the country's best craft beer has spilled out of this state's culinary creativity. One of these inventions goes big time tomorrow, when Fool's Gold -- a giant peanut butter sandwich invented at the Colorado Mine Company, and beloved by Elvis -- gets a supporting role in What If, a new movie starring Daniel Radcliffe and Zoe Kazan.

Elvis has left the building (and so has the Colorado Mine Company), but the memories -- and dishes -- remain. Keep reading for our top five Colorado culinary inventions:

See also: Balls! What Does Colorado Taste Like to You

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Five Ways Restaurants Screw Their Employees

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The news lately has been full of restaurant fuck-ups that create headaches for customers...and hardships for employees. While the restaurant industry as a whole serves a very useful purpose -- it sells prepared meals to people who need and want them, provides a flow of tax money to communities, and offers wage employment without requiring a ton of experience or higher-learning qualifications -- a few bad apples can leave a very bad taste.

Here's a list of five ways that restaurants screw their employees. The least they could do is buy their workers dinner first....

See also: Slackers, drama kings and the overly entitled: The top three restaurant employees who suck


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The Ten Best Hipster Bars in Denver -- Summer 2014 Edition

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What hipster doesn't love a good speakeasy?
The word "hipster" gets tossed around a lot in the blogosphere, usually as a derogatory term for someone who wears different clothes or likes different things than the troll or flamer employing the word as a slur. But every generation has had its defining iconoclasts -- the mostly young and style-conscious who appear to be in the minority but over time end up defining a decade. Beatniks, hippies, punks, goths -- they all know who they are and define themselves by the music they listen to, the clothes they wear and the stuff they're into. And they all claim they live their lives outside the mainstream and free of definitions. Except that, for everyone else, they're pretty easy to spot. If you're a cultural anthropologist looking to observe hipsters in their element or maybe you're just new to town and looking for a hand-built bar within fixie-riding distance where you'll feel at home, here are ten great hipster hives for a drink and maybe some banjo music.

See also: The Top Ten Doughnuts in Denver

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Five Reasons to Ban Disruptive Children From Restaurants

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A bustling tourist restaurant, Old Fisherman's Grotto in Monterey, California, really rankled some parents when it recently posted a sign prohibiting strollers, high chairs, booster seats, loud kids and crying babies. Restaurant owner Chris Shake says if customers don't like the rules, they can go somewhere else to eat, and he isn't concerned about the decision affecting business. But is it the right sort of business to be effectively banning rowdy kids from restaurants?

You bet your asses it is -- and here are five reasons why banning disruptive children from restaurants is perfectly okay. Maybe it's time that lazy, unconcerned, pushover parents stop ruining everyone's dining experiences.

See also: Ten best kid-friendly restaurants in Denver


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The five best places for Alton Brown to visit in Denver

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Alton Brown may have picked the wrong place to be low key.
Food Network star, cookbook author and food-nerd extraordinaire Alton Brown was spotted yesterday attempting to have a quiet lunch at Stoic & Genuine, chef Jen Jasinski's posh new seafood haven in Union Station. There was no filming going on, other than the discreet (or not so discreet) attempts of fellow diners to capture iPhone footage of the host of Good Eats and MC of Iron Chef America. With all the rubbernecking and brazen assaults on Brown's privacy, we think he simply chose the wrong venue (not that the food wasn't up to par). Here are five other things he could have done in Denver, rather than eating at one the most hyped and media-infested eateries in the entire city.

See also: Top Chef winner Hosea Rosenberg opening Blackbelly Market in Boulder

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Top five reasons why Taco Bell won't kick Chipotle's ass

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Taco Bell has been making a serious effort lately to get a chunk of Chipotle's customer demographic and failing at it, but the Bell's new strategy to beat out Chipotle may be as ineffective as it is cunning. Taco Bell, piggybacking on its healthier Cantina Bell menu, is rolling out a new high-protein Cantina Power Menu aimed right at men, cheapos, paleo diet nuts -- and Chipotle's deep pockets.

Here are the top five reasons why Taco Bell just can't kick Chipotle's ass right now. Taco Bell gets two headpats for trying, but Chipotle is still gonna eat them for lunch.

See also: Will Del Taco's 50th anniversary "Throwback Classic" bun taco resurrect Taco Bell Beefer?


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The seven best places to drink tequila in Denver on National Tequila Day

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Kevin Galaba

Cuidado Denver, you're getting a second Cinco de Mayo this summer: tomorrow is National Tequila Day. Americans drank a little over 13 million gallons of tequila last year -- and that number will be surpassed this year. There are a lot of great places in Denver to consume the spirit of the agave; we've distilled it down to a few must-drink locations for this festive occasion (although we don't need anyone to tell us that every day is a good day for tequila). Whether it's in a margarita, as slow sipper, or in a shot with lime and salt, tequila is the drink of the day, and this list (in no particular order) of local restaurants will help you find the tequila destination that's right for you.

See also: Richard Sandoval's La Biblioteca opens


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