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Tim Tebow. Hungry for victory -- and Snooze pancakes?

​Miami, the city that hosted Tim Tebow's high-school championship game, his national championship game and, only yesterday, the Tim Tebow Revival Hour, is just the starting point on the Tebow Man of the People tour.

Tebow is now tasked with winning on Sundays. In that, umm, spirit, here are the Weege Board's dining suggestions for the Holy Heisman hurler on the Lord's Day.

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​When I walked into Hooters Casino Hotel in Las Vegas, all I could say was "wow." It seemed like mankind's greatest invention: Titular entertainment at a "breasteraunt" supplemented by table games.

But somehow, Hooters fell flat.

The casino is now in a Silicon valley-sized hole, in debt to the tune of $162 million and filing for bankruptcy protection earlier this month. How did this happen?

The five best reasons we can see:

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​Just when you thought your kids were not getting a real education, a field trip has justified our faith in the teaching profession.

A group of eighth-graders from Berwick, Pennsylvania, recently went to Baltimore on a school-sponsored field trip to visit the National Aquarium. The group of a hundred students was too large for one restaurant to accommodate, so the chaperones decided to split the kids into groups of fifteen to twenty -- one of which wound up at a nearby Hooters for lunch. So far, Superintendent Wayne Brookhart hasn't heard any complaints, according to the Bloomsburg Press Enterprise.

Since these kids have already learned their lesson at Hooters, here are a few places closer to home where they can go for extra credit:

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Spread the word about "parsley butter."

​An early nomination for mother of the year: Stevie Hickey.

The 22-year-old Pennsylvania woman, who has a one-month-old and a three-year-old, decided to spread some "parsley butter" -- kept in a tub of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" -- on toast as a treat for a couple of children she was caring for at her apartment.The mother of a twelve-year-old girl who got the marijuana-sodden snack called the cops on Hickey, who told them she found the recipe on the Internet.

Hickey's two children were removed from her home; she's currently facing misdemeanor child endangerment and drug charges. She has not been charged with "chronic" stupidity, although that would seem appropriate. Because everyone knows that kids would rather eat cookies than toast.

Three more tot-pleasing pot recipes:

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​I spent the past weekend preparing for summertime fun and frolic, and that means just one thing: vodka.

Vodka not just in my glass, but vodka in my food. Summer is a great time to brown-bag both a beverage and a meal, and these libation-licious dishes are some of my favorite ways to consume vodka.

5. Orange-vanilla Italian ricotta cheesecake
I love me some cheesecake, and this recipe -- which features an orange marmalade-vodka glaze -- gives me plenty to love. Fortunately, the recipe will leave enough vodka in the bottle that while the cheesecake is in the oven, you'll have plenty to drink until your drunken masterpiece is ready.

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Make your Arnold Palmer alcoholic.

​The Masters Tournament starts this weekend, which is always a great excuse to invite the guys over for some grub and stogies, and trade stories about that pay-for-play night during that last golf outing in Vegas. If you're lucky, your indentured servant, err, wife will make you a smorgasbord of delights so that you won't have to leave your Barcalounger except to pee.

Tiger hasn't been the same since the "incident," but you can still enjoy a menu that will make your stomach growl. Just make sure you don't crash too early.

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​We've reached the middle of the work week, and as we all know, Wednesday has its own, well-earned nickname: Hump Day.

Why? Maybe because from here, having gotten Monday and Tuesday out of the way, we can start contemplating the joys of the coming weekend, and some real hump days.

In the meantime, let us hump some foods together. And remember: It's all downhill from here.

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Ronco does it right.

​If you've given up on finding great pasta at local restaurants, here are five mechanical contraptions that might help you make great pasta at home:

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​The roof you're working under is about to cave in. What to do? Start thinking about what you're going to eat for the rest of the week -- while you can still afford to eat.

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Will you be my Valentine?

​It's 11:30 a.m. on Valentine's Day, and I am the only patron at Hooters, that mammary mecca on Parker Road. With a big beer in front of me and a server with cleavage to match, I inquire about today's special. It's all about the wings: buy ten boneless or traditional wings, and you get ten free.

The chain is selling it with this slogan: "Forget the ring, and bring her in for wings."

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