Masterpiece Cakeshop will not bake this cake.

Yesterday afternoon, 28-year-old Dave Mullins and 31-year-old Charlie Craig stopped by Lakewood's Masterpiece Cakeshop to order their wedding reception cake -- what they hoped would be a rainbow-layered masterpiece decked out in teal and red frosting (their ceremony colors). Although they'll be reciting their vows in Provincetown, Massachusetts, in September, the couple plans to celebrate with a reception for friends and family in Denver in October. But after bakery owner Jack Phillips listened to their request, they say, he refused it. His business doesn't create cakes for gay weddings.

See Also:
- Masterpiece Cakeshop refuses gay wedding: Readers share their stories

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What's for lunch? A cockroach if you're eating at Da Lat.

I had just finished eating mole at a brilliant Oaxacan restaurant in Santa Ana, California when my phone beeped. And there it was...an upside down cockroach dead on its ass on a plate. The offending restaurant? Da Lat, a Vietnamese joint on Federal Boulevard that just last month made my 100 Favorite Dish list for its seafood hot pot -- the exact same dish that Heather Miller ordered on April 20. The same dish that harbored one of the most loathsome insects in our habitat: a cockroach.

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Gluttons we might be, but we're not exactly turned on by the notion of picking candy -- or, worse yet, melted fruit roll-up goo -- out of our private parts, so we've never been partial to edible underwear. But now we've learned that some creative genius has invented a type of consumable lingerie that we can really sink our teeth into.

We're talking about unmentionables made of meat, which come in several varieties:

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The good news for the guy who suffered a heart attack while eating a Triple Bypass Burger at the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas is that the restaurant's gimmick -- besides the insanely mega-calorie menu offerings -- is requiring its customers to wear hospital gowns while dining, so he was good to go. The bad news is, you know, the heart attack. (No word on whether the Triple Bypass led to a triple bypass.) But at least he survived, and that fact alone will save him from permanent canonization in the annals of ironic food-related deaths. The following five people were not so lucky.

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Cafe Society last wrote about Tim Tebow when Euclid Hall introduced its bone-marrow "T-boning" Manhattan shot. This time around, the world of food and Tebow collide in very different way.

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Need help proposing? This guy's got your back.

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and if you're anything like me, that means you're thinking about Pizza Hut's $10 Dinner Box promotion. You say you're not thinking about Pizza Hut's $10 Dinner Box promotion? Well, you should be.

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The super-sized Super Bowl of deli platters.

Holy Super Bowl! Someone in the football universe obviously takes his deli platter damn seriously, as evidenced by this snap, a dazzling stadium display of cold cuts, crudites, chips and cheese squares.

The origin of the platter, seemingly large enough to feed every tailgater in Indianapolis, is unknown, but whoever designed it didn't miss a tackle, erecting a jaw-dropping wall of triple-decker sandwiches, ham slabs and pepperoni coins surrounding seat sections stockpiled with pretzels, corn chips and miniature blocks of yellow and white cheese -- and a few garnishes thrown in for extra points.

The larger, full-frontal photo is on the following page, along with several more meat-cheese-and-chip stadiums.

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Oh. My. God. It's a freakin' miracle! No, really, now you can have your daily bread with -- holy crap -- Jesus! All while chugging down your morning jolts of java with a side of Lucky Charms.

This is not a gag gift, people. No, we're talking about a genuine toaster that sears Jesus's image onto your wheat, rye or white, and it's the invention of Galen Dively, an entrepreneurial fellow who lives in Walden, Vermont and hustles customized toasters, including the Jesus toaster, equipped with seven different heat settings and a "convenient clean-out tray." If this is what you'd like Santa to park under your tree this year, they sell for $31.95, including shipping. Lord, have mercy. Interestingly, Dively also pimps a pot toaster and a peace sign toaster.

But it's the Jesus one that really caught our attention, and it caught the attention, too, of one of those creative types, who uploaded a Youtube video, complete with the likeness of George Walker Bush thumping the toaster with his thumb and rapping lyrics like this: "Spread the love of Jesus with your favorite kind of jam, if you're gonna follow him, you can even eat a little ham."

Watch. And pray.

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Found at www.suicidegirls.com

Surfing through Craigslist ads is always a fun time, and answering them can be pretty entertaining as well. It's neat -- and telling -- to respond to an ad for a used convection oven and get a middle-aged married man looking for sex, respond to an ad for a part-time babysitting gig and get another married guy looking for sex, and respond to another ad for free fill dirt answered by....well, you get the idea.

This latest gem of an ad asks for suicide girls (in case you aren't in the know, these are goth-, punk-, indie- and pin-up-style ladies) to apply for jobs, presumably as waitstaff, at a not-yet-opened fetish-themed bar. The ad is sorely lacking in details, but asks interested females to send at least one photograph of themselves, along with their written reason(s) why they feel they are a good fit for the gig.

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'Tis the most wonderful time of the year, Denver. During the stretch of days between Thanksgiving and New Year's, it's totally socially appropriate to stay out too late on a school night, drink too much and show up to work griping about your subsequent hangover. Okay, maybe not totally socially appropriate, but at least a little more forgiven.

The morning after pretty much sucks, though, especially when you're fighting a hangover at work, so we're particularly excited by a development that will help you play the holiday season like a champion without missing a beat at the office: an FDA-approved hangover pill that just hit the market.

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