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Madonna called. She wants her boots back.

Lotus Entertainment’s marketing director, Paulina Szafranski, dropped by the office, channeling Madonna’s Vanity Fair cover (and maybe a little bit of Julia in Pretty Woman) in a pair of crazy-fierce, over-the-knee boots.

You want a pair?

Too bad.

They will, eventually, be available at Nine West, but not for a while. These particular boots are part of a limited edition collection, found exclusively in New York’s Nine West stores until this fall. Ms. Szafranski bought them hot off the runway from a fashion model friend of hers in NYC.

Sorry ladies. You’ll just have to wait.

Dress – Diane von Furstenberg

Bag – Marc Jacobs

Boots – So Not Everywhere Yet

- Steven J. Burge

Though fall colors are normally laid to rest when spring has sprung, sometimes Mother Nature comes down with a touch of schizophrenia and makes it snow on May 1st. When this happens, one is faced with a dilemma: Stay warm and wear fall clothes and autumn hues for unexpected weather? Or throw caution to the unseasonable wind and freeze to death in a crocus-colored springtime frock?

Hmm. What to do… What to do…

Here’s a sassy little candid of our Sales Sweetheart, Rayann, making a mad dash for the front door in the more practical of the two ensemble options.
“This is cashmere! It’s bad enough I’m wearing brown on May Day! Does it have to snow on my brown cashmere on May Day?!”

Good question, Rayann. But a better question might be, “Where is your coat, dear?”

“It’s spring, Steve!” she snaps, giving a little snowflake-shunning shimmy when she’s safely inside. “I don’t need a coat. Now, go get me some hot chocolate. I’ll be in the bathroom blow-drying my hair under that hand-drier thingy. Brrr!!!”

Anything for you, love. And happy May Day.

Cashmere Blouse from Saks Fifth Avenue
Trousers from Nordstrom
Shoes from Charlotte Russe
Beads from Pandora’s Box

- Steven J. Burge

Sporting a pretty sweet suit he found at a local thrift store, Denver actor/comedian Charlie Schmidt wears his “green” politics on his sleeve -- literally. Mr. Schmidt is currently tearing up Breckenridge in the Backstage Theatre’s production of Reefer Madness, a farcical exploration of America’s other hot, “green” political debate.

Based on the 1936 exploitation film-turned-cult film-turned off-Broadway musical, Reefer Madness is a tongue-in-cheek morality tale dealing with the “dangers” of recreational marijuana use. The original film was rediscovered in the 1970s and became a cult phenomenon among the very population it was initially intended to scare straight. Now the Backstage Theatre offers Reefer’s musical adaptation for Breckenridge tourists as an alternative to the slopes.

Charlie takes a fashion cue from young Hollywood and wears his green suit with a pair of solid colored Converse sneakers, a la Justin Timberlake. Though most of the men’s fashion mags might advise you to (puff, puff) pass on this particular trend when attending a formal event, rocking the rubber soles with your favorite formal duds can be a fun diversion from the conservative norm in a more casual environment. Of course, being blessed with youth and beauty like Charlie certainly makes it easier to pull off this look.

Well, being blessed or being really, really high. (Not that we, at Westword, would ever condone such behavior, mind you.)

Backstage Theatre’s Reefer Madness closes this weekend. For last chance tickets to this wacky camp-fest, please call 970-453-0199.

- Steven J. Burge

Carla Kaiser-Kotric’s friends seem to agree that she is one of the nicest people in the world. They say if you are friends with Carla, you can expect a myspace message almost every day telling you how great a person you are (Even if you are, in fact, not a great person.) You can expect “love gifts,” small tokens of her affection for no reason in particular. You can expect constant support in everything you choose to do, reasonable or otherwise.

And, apparently, you can expect her to look pretty great, too!

Here is the uber-congenial Carla Kaiser-Kotric, herself, in a black ensemble by Catherine Toby. Ms. Kaiser-Kotric shows off a turquoise pashmina with matching jewelry to give her basic black a little kick. This particular color choice also brings out that special, little sparkle in Carla’s eye. Her entire look is, at once, striking and flattering.
Well done, Carla! A fabulous ensemble to compliment a fabulous woman!

Slacks and Blouse by Catherine Toby
Pashmina from Macy’s
Turquois necklace and earrings from Sak’s Fifth Ave.

Carla shows off her comic timing, her powerhouse voice and, of course, her fashion sense in Theatre Off Broadway’s touching musical, The Last Session, closing this weekend. For last chance tickets, call 303-777-3292

- Steven J. Burge

Despite Colorado’s refusal to accept the truth, it is technically spring. Do you hear me, Colorado! It’s spring!!! It’s spriiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!!
And you know who’s going to celebrate spring, in spite of it all? This girl!
Denver actress, Chelley Canales, throws caution to the wind (that is currently blowing snow around outside as I write this) by sporting this flirty, little frock perfect for post-show cocktails on some patio somewhere. A pair of cute, sling back, peep toed wedge sandals completes Chelley’s fantasy that it is, in fact, warm outside. (It’s not.)
Ms. Canales is part of a multi-talented and multi-racial cast taking the stage at the Aurora Fox this weekend in their production of The Emperor Jones, “a cautionary tale for rulers and the ruled” set in the Haitian Islands. Jones was Eugene O'Neill's first play to receive great critical acclaim and box office success, effectively launching his career.
But, see, this isn’t Haiti. Is it?
No.
This is Colorado.
And while Chelley’s plunging neckline and Miss America calibur smile are certainly heating things up for the men in her life, her ensemble probably does little to keep her warm on this fine “spring” day. Oh well. At least she looks pretty fabulous. And isn’t that what really matters in life?
Break a leg, love!

The Emperor Jones opens tonight and runs through May 11 at The Aurora Fox Theatre, 9900 East Colfax Avenue. For ticket information, call 303-739-1970.

- Steven J. Burge

To pleat or not to pleat: that is the question.

Our uber-hot marketing guru, Megan, (her Look of the Day will be coming soon, boys. And she is well worth the wait. I promise.), has this to say on the subject: “Flat front. Always. Pleats remind me of my dad.” Megan’s brow furrows a bit. Her pretty, brown eyes gloss over for a split second as she further ponders the pleat. “Eww,” she shudders. “Definitely flat front.”

But the thing is, Megan, the answer to this hard hitting question is far more complicated than one might first assume. Turns out, flat fronts aren’t for everyone.

This is John.

John is hot.

But more importantly, at least in regard to this question, John is tall and slender. So, you’re right, Megan. In this case, the answer is not to pleat. Well done.

Flat front pants are made to be worn by those with a lithe build and should almost always be avoided by the svelte man’s huskier brother. This particular breed of trouser is traditionally worn without a cuff and, when tailored properly, provides a sleek and sophisticated look by offering a clean, slim fit.

Because this style of trouser does have a tendency to elongate the legs, it draws attention down to a man’s shoes. Details magazine recommends a pair of square toed shoes, like the ones our tall drink of water is sporting here, be worn with flat fronts.

Ogle while you can, ladies. Sadly, John has announced that this is his last day as Westword’s resident guy-candy. He is moving on to bigger and better things, so it is with a heavy heart that we wish John a bon voyage! This Dreamboat has sailed.
And cliché though this may be to say, while we hate to see John go, we do love to watch him walk away.

Shirt by Nautica
Slacks by Kenneth Cole
Belt by Nautica
Shoes by Kenneth Cole
Watch by Fossil

- Steven J. Burge

Though Converse sneakers are certainly an obligatory staple in the modern day hipster’s uniform, they have been around since the early 20th century and boast a rich and interesting history. According to Wikipedia, the Converse sneaker was born in 1908 when would-be founder, Marquis M. Converse, “fell down a flight of steps in Malden, Massachusetts, injuring both him and his pet donkey, Seabiscuit.”

Apparently, not wanting anyone else to fall on his ass (HAH!!! I’m hilarious), Mr. Converse came up with the idea of rubber-soled shoes to prevent people from slipping. Now, one hundred years later, Converse sneakers can still be found on the feet of everyone from sports stars to rock stars and have even appeared on Paris runways in high-end fashion shows. (They’re like the Jimmy Choos of footwear. Wait…)

Our web editor, Sean, designed this pair of Converse hightops himself by using the aptly titled “Design Your Own” feature on their website. His are chocolate-brown leather with off-white rubber trim and off-white laces, but the possibilities are as numerous and varied as the feet that wear them. Sean also got a cute new haircut to go with his cute new shoes, but he’s being all shy and whatnot, so you’ll just have to take my word for it.

Design your own pair of Converse sneakers at www.converse.com.

- Steven J. Burge

Ah… the “Gay Boyfriend.” Where would the modern woman be without her favorite accessory? Take, for example, Grace’s Will (may they rest in peace.). Or Wilhelmina’s Marc. Or, of course, Carrie’s Stanford (That movie comes out in 63 days, by the way. I’m totally taking that day off). I, myself, am one (Hi, Amy).

Throughout history, a straight woman and her Gay Boyfriend have gone hand in well manicured hand. A perfect blend of snarky and sweet, the Gay Boyfriend is usually as cute as the “real” boyfriend and always more fun to go shopping with. He’ll tell you your “rack looks amazing in that top” and it’s not creepy or pervy. He’ll let you know when “your hair is going frizzy in the back” and it’s not insulting. You can spoon all night long and it really is just because “he wants to cuddle.” And most importantly, he’ll listen with an open heart and an open bottle of Absolute until the wee hours of the morning as you cry about lost loves, lost jobs or lost earrings. In short, the Gay Boyfriend is a must have for every woman out there. He goes with everything.

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A friend of mine forwarded me several pictures like the one shown here claiming that theses skirts are all the current rage in Japan. According to my “source,” the skirts are not really see-through, but designed with these prints on the back to make them appear see-through. As we all know, fashion trends typically are born in Japan or Paris or Italy and take a while to filter down through the fashion capitals of the world and land in “Normalville, USA” so I wasn’t too quick to dismiss this claim as just another urban fashion legend. With a little help from our Editorial Assistant, Ms. Aubrey Shoe, however, it was quickly discovered that the women of Japan have far too much taste to sport a phony fanny. It’s a hoax. Whew.

But what if it hadn’t been a hoax? What if this had been true? If this faux see-through skirt was making its way through Japan right now, how long before we would have seen these virtual asses walking the streets of Denver? And, just because they aren’t a reality right now, maybe these skirts are, in fact, a good idea. I can tell you right now that the air-brushed asses printed on these skirts are far more attractive than a real, live ass I saw walking down Colfax in a drunken stupor just last weekend. Eww.

Plus, think about the self-esteem boost they would offer to millions of people ready to embrace them. And not just women, either. Nope. I’m telling you right now… let some brilliant designer superimpose the image of Matthew McConaughey’s torso onto a T-shirt and I’ll be first in line to buy one. It would certainly beat doing a million crunches, right?

Right. Think about that, Denver.

For more information on the phony fanny skirts, click here.

- Steven J. Burge

This thriftonista is living “La Vie Boheme” as a working actress, here in Denver. Her artistic being is reflected in all aspects of her life, including her fashion sense. Elgin’s low rise black cords and sky blue knit top play peek-a-boo with the black panther tattoo on her hip. To finish the look, Elgin ties a floral scarf in her hair, perhaps a subtle reference to the equally free-spirited flower children 1967. Her look is attention getting and attractive, yet simple enough to allow Elgin’s own, natural beauty to draw your eye. Elgin Kelley has delighted audiences at the Colorado Shakespeare Festival, The Denver Center for the Performing Arts, and the many other fine theatres Denver has to offer. You can catch this Bohemian beauty next in David Mamet’s drama, Oleanna, playing now through April 19th at The Avenue Theatre, located at 417 17th Ave.
Wishing you all peace, love and happiness this weekend!

Directed by Denver favorite, Nicolas Sugar, Oleanna is an intense, engaging drama that pits a college professor against a student who has accused him of sexual misconduct.
For tickets, call The Avenue Theatre at 303.321.5925.

- Steven J. Burge

It takes a little sass and a great set of stems to pull off a pair of ankle boots with anything other than a long skirt or a pair of pants. Retail Sales Rep., Erin, knows exactly what she’s doing, though, by keeping her skirt a couple inches above the knee, and wearing vertically stripped tights to accentuate her long legs. This look allows Erin to remain sexy and modest all at the same time. Though women with more shapely calves might feel less comfortable showing this much leg, when worn with your favorite pair of jeans or a long skirt, a pair of ankle boots can be the perfect shoes for anyone wanting to show a little bit of footwear flare.

Shades from: Urban Outfitters
Jacket from: Billabong
Tights & Skirt from: Express
Boots from: True Love
Labradorite Necklace from: Pandora’s Box

-- Steven J. Burge

Yup. It’s true. Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words, huh?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I suddenly feel some pressure to go do about a bazillion crunches.

-- Steven J. Burge

Move over, Brangelina! Peace, out, Zac and Vanessa!

Denver’s got its own version of the Entertainment Power Couple in the form of this delicious duo now appearing in Conundrum Production’s Contrived Ending. Jamie Ann Romero stars alongside her real-life love interest, Matt Mueller, in this Breakfast Club-inspired coming-of-age story by Denver playwright, Josh Hartwell. (They’re so cute, I just wanna bash their heads in.) The only problem is, Denver stages pay just a little bit less than major Hollywood studios. No matter. With help of a few trendy little, thrifty spots, Matt and Jamie are able to look like the up and coming A-listers they are until their big budget ship comes in.

“Forever 21 is my best friend,” says Romero. “I mean, it’s not like their clothes are going to last for years, or anything. But they’re cute now. Right?”

Right! And who wants to be wearing the same thing next year, anyway? Fashion trends, like Hollywood love affairs, seem to come and go rather quickly. But I’m sure Denver love affairs are more like diamonds or argyle. They’ll last forever. So no worries, you crazy kids. No worries.

On Him:
Pants: Levi’s 511 Skinny
Tie: Calvin Klein
Corduroy Jacket: Heritage 1981 (Brother Store to Forever 21)
Smouldering Glare: Inspired by Details magazine

On Her:
Skirt: Gap
Blouse: Forever 21
Necklace: A one-of-a-kind creation made by Jamie Ann, herself. (Crafty little thing, isn’t she?)
Million Watt Smile: Genetic Jackpot

Contrived Ending ends its run at the Buntport Theatre this Saturday, March 15th. For last chance tickets, call 303-601-2640.

- Steven J. Burge

Every day Westword receptionist Steve Burge gives you the fashionable view from the front desk.

Remember Joan Collins’ portrayal of Dynasty’s villainess, Alexis Carrington Colby?
I don’t. I wasn’t allowed to watch it as a child. But I have since seen some reruns and she’s fabulous. And what makes her so fabulous? Lots of things, really, but one that comes to mind, immediately, is her big, 80’s hair.

Our office do-it-all, Christina, channels any number of the vampy/campy, 80’s prime time soap queens with her “just rolled out of (your) bed” do.

Now, there are many, many fashion disasters that came from that decade (i.e. – shoulder pads, French-rolled, stonewashed “mom” jeans, scrunchies and t-top Trans Ams), but big hair rocked then and it rocks now. I’m certainly not promoting “mall bangs,” of course, and I admit that not every woman can pull off this daring, retro style, but those who can should. Larger than life, power hair symbolizes the larger than life, power woman.

So do it. Break out the teasing combs and Aqua Net and join the ranks of Joan Collins, Linda Gray, Jaclyn Smith, Victoria Principal and, of course, our very own drama queen, Christina.
Bring back big hair!

And maybe slap bracelets, too. Those were pretty “rad,” if I remember correctly.

- Steven J. Burge

Every day Westword receptionist Steve Burge gives you the fashionable view from the front desk.

Poor Drew. Like many of us, Mr. Bixby, our “Drunk of the Week” writer, has not yet adjusted to Daylight Saving Time. Here we see him sleeping under his desk, another victim of what I consider to be a ridiculous annual occurrence.

Did you know that Arizona just pretends Daylight Saving Time doesn’t happen? Yeah.
To me, that seems ridiculous. I mean, how does an entire state just say, "Suck it, conventions of Daylight Saving Time! We won't adhere to you. We'll just make up our own rules. In fact, we won’t even commit to a time zone. How ‘bout that? Why should people in the rest of the world know when it is 'too late' to call here, anyway? It's no one else's business but our own. So there, rest of the world!”

Realistically speaking, if Arizona does not adhere to the conventions of Daylight Saving Time the way the rest of us do, then how much of an hourly difference from us are they actually experiencing? Fundamentally speaking, I mean. Seriously. How has this refusal to adhere affected them? Indeed, how has it affected the space/time continuum in general? Hours turn into days turn into weeks turn into months turn into years turn into decades, etc. right? So by screwing with one hour a year... no, wait... two hours a year if they neither "Spring ahead" nor "Fall back..." since the beginning of time (or at least, Daylight Saving Time) they very well may be operating in an entirely different year right now. Arizona might literally be the future of America.

And speaking of years… Leap Year is another weirdo-o thing about our calendar, isn’t it?
Are we really allowed to say, “Oops. Our calendar is weird. We must’ve counted wrong. I have an idea. Let’s just add an extra day every fourth year. Problem solved.”

Did you know that the Mayans created a calendar that did not require a leap year? I read that somewhere. I also read that the Mayan calendar ends at the year 2012, and you know what? That brings me to another point. If, in fact, the Mayans’ prediction that the world will end in the year 2012 according to their calendar is correct, how long do we have left? Should we be scared that their calendar ends at 2012? I think so. Because the Mayans predicted lots of stuff that came to be. What if we only have two weeks to live? I, for one, would quit my job if that’s the case. We don’t know, though. We have no idea what time it really is, do we?

Especially if you consider Arizona.

You know what? Fine. If those people can just make up their own timetable, then I can, too.

From this day forward, I refuse to be held accountable for my arrival and departure times. No matter what time I roll into work in the mornings, I'm going to call it 8 a.m. When I'm ready to leave, I'm going call it 5 p.m. Maybe even 6 p.m. so I can get a little overtime. And if someone has a problem with it, I will refer them to the people of Arizona, whoever made up the "Leap Yea," and any descendents of the Mayan people that I can find. Obviously, no one is on the same page anyway, right? Right.

But that’s not the point. The point is, Drew is asleep under his desk. (He’s such an angel when he’s sleeping, isn’t he?) And I call this look “The Unfortunate Side Effects of Daylight Saving Time.” Surely, there must be many people sporting this latest trend.

Now if you’ll excuse, I’m going to wake Drew up, take him to a bar, demand $2 top-shelf vodka and call it Happy Hour. I defy someone to challenge me.

- Steven J. Burge