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The American Presidential Experience, the largest traveling presentation of presidential memorabilia, will set up shop in Invesco Field’s parking lot during the convention. Here are some of the items you will not see at the exhibit:

-Back-up set of George Washington’s false teeth with MO DOLLAZ spelled out in diamonds.
-Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello fuck swing.
-Renderings of Andrew Jackson’s stomach tattoo: Words “Old Hickory” and arrow to where sun don’t shine.
-Menagerie of stuffed birds and small mammals found trapped in Martin Van Buren’s sideburns.
-William Henry Harrison’s 32nd day-in-office journal entry. (Snap! Because he died after 31 days in office! Oh, don’t think we won’t go there, bitches!)
-Lithograph of Abraham Lincoln dunking over Jefferson Davis, misplaced after inaugural Yankee/Rebel Charity Pick-Up Game.
-William Howard Taft’s wide-bottom, personally-contoured chamber pot.
-Original transcript of famous JFK speech in which he implores Americans to “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask how you can afford not to buy a new pair of quality Michelin tires?”
-Lyndon B. Johnson’s prized '45 of puppies barking “Jingle Bells.”
-Section of Watergate tapes where Nixon tries his hand at beatboxing.
-Draft of the Ronald Reagan cookbook: 100 Delicious Stem Cell Recipes!
-Recording of dramatic confrontation between George H.W. Bush and George W.: Go fix me a turkey pot pie. No dad, what about you? Fuck you. No dad, what about you? Fuck you. Dad, what about you? Fuck you.
-Drawings of Barack Obama’s alternative faux presidential seal: Apple logo next to word, “iBama.”
-XXL T-shirt worn by Bill Clinton that reads, “Don’t blame me, she’s the President!” -- The Westword Convention Team

Before Barack Obama settled on accepting the Democratic presidential nomination in Invesco Field at Mile High, convention organizers also considered Coors Field as an alternative to the Pepsi Center.

But Invesco has two advantages over the ballpark: It can hold 20,000 more people (a total upwards of 76,000) -- and it also isn't named after one of the most prominent Republican families not just in Colorado, but the country.

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Virgin Islands

Total Number of Delegates: 9
Pledged: 3
Unpledged: 6

How to Recognize a Virgin Islands Delegate:
Blown (way) off course during his second voyage, Christopher Columbus chose a religious theme and named this grouping of islets for the virgin handmaidens of some obscure marriage-avoiding saint. He was going through his idealistic phase (pre-tyrant), and hoped that the sail-by edict would be enough to convert the natives into Catholics. Instead, the islands attracted pirates, who loved the hidden harbors as a place to dock their ships. The beautiful white-sand beaches also gave them a perfect spot to lay out their towels and gawk at one another's booties. And that's how America's cruise vacation industry began! The only trouble was that the islands belonged to Denmark. The United States wanted them badly and started making offers in 1845. Finally, in 1917, an arrogant U.S. government claimed that it had intelligence reports showing German plans to use the islands for launching U-boats of mass destruction, and forced the Danes to sell for $25 million. Today the U.S. Virgin Islands are a haven of American prosperity and proud home to both the largest oil refinery in the Caribbean and Captain Morgan's new worldwide rum distillery. It's also a popular port of call for compulsive snorkelers and cautious honeymooners. In return, Virgin Islanders are prohibited from voting for the United States president and collecting Social Security. They will be extremely easy to detect on the streets of Denver. Females will look like movie stars making guest appearances on Sesame Street circa the 1980s, with their outdated pastel-hued cruise-wear pantsuits. Their shoes will be low-heeled strappy sandals in citrus colors from the Essentric Shoe Boutique. Males will wear comfortable, color-coordinated shirt-and-slacks ensembles with matching fabric shoes in aquamarine, oyster and lavender from Asfour Department Store.

Famous Virgin Islanders:
Anti-slavery activist hero Denmark Vesey; Liberian nation-builder Edward Wilmot Blyden; Father of Impressionism Camille Pisarro, socialist labor leader Frank Rudolph Crosswaith; black nationalist turned conservative firebrand Roy Innis; beloved national librarian Enid M. Baa; sitcom psychiatrist Kelsey Grammer; video vixens Karrine Steffans and Jasmine St. Claire; "I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire" songwriter Claude A. Benjamin; basketballers Tim Duncan and Raja Bell; baseballers Joe Christopher and Midre Cummings; runners Bruce Sewer and Iroy Chittick.

Famous Virgin Island Democrats:
United States representative Donna Christian-Christensen; 27th governor Charles Wesley Turnbull; 28th and current governor John deJongh; senators Pedro "Pete" Encarnación, Louis Patrick Hill and Lorraine Berry.

Denverites With Virgin Island Connections:
2004 Virgin Islands Olympic team and current University of Denver head swim coach Brian Schrader

Territory Nickname: American Paradise. Island Nicknames: Rock City (St. Thomas), Love City (St. John) and Twin City (St. Croix) (official); Duty Free Town (St. Thomas), Straw Hat Town (St. John) and Fruity Rum Drink Town (St. Croix) (unofficial).

Population: 108,708
Racial Distribution: 9% white, 76% black, 1% Asian, 14% Hispanic
Per Capita Personal Income: $17,200
Unemployment: 11%

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Back in November, when the Democratic National Convention Committee held its walk-through at the Pepsi Center for the national media, Leah Daughtry, DNCC chief of staff, stood before hundreds of reporters and pointed to a bunch of balloons hovering above the floor. That, she said, was where the Democratic presidential candidate -- whose identity at that point was very much up in the air, like the balloons -- would stand for the acceptance speech.

The long-anticipated transformation of the Pepsi Center into the site of the Democratic National Convention was slated to start at 8 a.m. today, July 7, but before the first hammer started swinging, DNC chair Howard Dean announced that Barack Obama would deliver his acceptance speech not at the Pepsi Center, but at Invesco Field at Mile High -- which can hold 55,000 more people.

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Anyone who was surprised that Barack Obama criticized Denver jazz vocalist Rene Marie for singing the tune popularly known as the Black National Anthem instead of the "Star-Spangled Banner" prior to Mayor John Hickenlooper's state-of-the-city speech doesn't have a very long memory. In doing so, he was simply having a "Sister Souljah Moment" -- a phenomenon named after the 1992 verbal whupping future president Bill Clinton put on Lisa Williamson, aka the aforementioned Sister, a hip-hop artist and provocateur, as a way of distancing himself from Jesse Jackson and others on what was perceived to be the ultra-liberal extreme of the Democratic party.

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It is a testament to the optimism of the Obama campaign -- ignoring the fundraising woes of the Denver host committee and staring squarely at the state’s electorate that’s only gone Democratic three times in the past sixty years of presidential races -- that rumblings surfaced Thursday of moving Obama’s acceptance speech on the final night of the convention from the Pepsi Center to Invesco Field.

It would be a logistical, technical and security nightmare to change venues at such (comparatively) short notice, now some fifty days out, and as various bemused media outlets have itemized, the litany of potential snags is a mile high (weather, crowd control, transportation of delegates, ticketing).

But the potential payoff of such a stunt—an enormous, rabid crowd in a critical swing state with shots of a sunset over the Rockies—may be too big to ignore for a campaign that has perpetually set its sights on the political stratosphere.

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“Funk the War!” stood out amongst the signs offering kettle corn, salted nuts and burritos as Rockies fans funneled past the intersection of 20th and Blake streets on July 3. While an American flag is not an unusual sight the day before the Fourth of July, it certainly drew more attention than curbside scalpers.

Particularly when it was beside another sign that read “Drop Beats, Not Bombs!,” in protest of weapons manufacturer Lockheed Martin contributing thousands of mini American flags to game attendees that night. The baseball marketing stunt was reminiscent of the Denver Broncos 2003 air strike for patriotism at Invesco Field in the months following the Iraq invasion.

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Bobby Jindal, Republican Governor from Louisiana, is rumored to be near or at the top of the McCain Vice President list. But in the past week, Jindal has flip-flopped on pay raise legislation (perhaps in response to a recall petition mounted against him in response to his original support of the bill) -- and perhaps more importantly, he's signed legislation allowing for the inclusion of so-called intelligent design in state public school science curriculum. (See him talk about the topic in the video below.)

Amazing how the term "intelligent" can be applied to so many things having little to do with actual intelligence, isn’t it?

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On July 2, the Los Angeles Times' political blog published "A Short But Sweet Gathering," which reported that unnamed aides for presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama had floated the idea of ending the Democratic National Convention one day early, on August 27, in order to give their guy "an extra day of post-nomination bounce in the crowded August calendar." A small piece in the July 3 Denver Post quoted Denver mayor John Hickenlooper (taking a break from the overblown Black National Anthem controversy) to guarantee such a thing wouldn't happen.

Hick's right, of course -- but neither the Times nor the Post bothered to mention the real reason. August 28, the day Obama is expected to give his acceptance speech, is exactly 45 years to the day since Martin Luther King Jr. delivered a little talk of his own -- one that included the phrase "I have a dream."

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For Mark Udall, 2008 must seem like the perfect political storm. After seeing what could have been his one shot at the U.S. Senate pass by in 2004, when Ken Salazar’s victory was one of the few bright spots for national Democrats who lost seats in Congress and saw a George Bush re-election, what a difference four years makes.

Now the state’s leadership is fully blue, TIME magazine’s “Invisible Man” -- Wayne Allard -- is retiring (does anyone on Capitol Hill know it yet?), and the most recent Rasmussen polls have Udall up nine points on GOP rival Bob Schaffer. Add to that cosmic alignment the retirement of another Republican senatorial stalwart, Pete Domenici, in New Mexico and the robust fortunes of Udall's cousin Tom, who is currently 28 points up on his competition, Representative Steve Pearce, according to June 24 Rasmussen data.

Even for a family whose powerful western roots branch from judgeships to mayoral offices to state and national legislatures, not since 1961 has the Washington Beltway ball bounced so kindly for the Udalls, who in the early days of the Kennedy administration saw Stewart Udall named Secretary of the Interior and his brother (and former Denver Nugget) Morris “Mo” Udall take over his Arizona congressional seat for the next thirty years.

But Mark makes it clear that his family is no Camelot, and despite the major national implications of his race to a Democratic Senate that’s hoping to pick up enough seats to move within striking distance of the 60 members it needs to shut the door on Republican filibustering, he’s focused on the issues that matter to voters in Colorado. From there, he talks about Colorado’s role in renewable energy; lists the major Democratic players in the West; discusses what he considers to be western values; assesses the significance of the balloon farms on the state’s eastern plains; notes the differences between Cape Cod and Colorado Democrats; explains how he hopes to capitalize on having the Democratic convention in Denver; and illustrates how Mother Nature makes reaching across the partisan aisle an historically western virtue.

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The number 50,000 has been getting thrown around a lot by DNC protest planners. Recreate 68’s Mark Cohen has used the figure several times over the past year to estimate how many demonstrators his group could bring to Civic Center Park, while Adam Jung of Tent State (i.e. the Alliance for Real Democracy) says the city shouldn’t be surprised if 50,000 festival-goers/illegal campers show up to a series of concerts his group is throwing the week of the convention.

Today, an immigrant rights coalition called the We Are America Alliance held a press conference in front of the Colorado Democratic Party headquarters in the Santa Fe Arts District to announce plans to hold a march for immigration reform on Tuesday, August 26 through downtown Denver. The number of anticipated participants: 50,000.

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With the TV in his office on Capitol Hill showing live shots of his peers on the Senate floor preparing their legislative case against Republicans for November, Senator Bob Menendez (D-NJ) speaks about his role on the Senatorial Campaign Committee and on spending late August in Denver. The junior senator from New Jersey was elected to his first full term in 2006 after spending thirteen years in the House, rising to Chairman of the House Democratic Caucus as the highest-ranking Hispanic in congressional history.

Westword (Joe Horton): What is, in your mind, the significance of having the national convention in Denver this year?

Bob Menendez: Well, I'm proud that my party recognizes that the West is a place of importance and opportunity, as is evidenced by moving Nevada up in its primary process and choosing Denver as the place for the convention. And those aren't just about finding a great site to hold the convention, they are about commitments as a party to the importance of the western states and appealing to the issues that voters in the West are concerned about. And so I think Denver's a great city, traveled there several times when I campaigned for House members when I was in the House, but beyond being a great city for a convention, I think it's commitment to the West. I think that combination of having Nevada earlier in the primary process and making Denver the convention city is a recognition of the importance of the West.

You know, if you look at New Mexico, Nevada and Colorado, they provided nineteen electoral votes -- the amount that George Bush won and John Kerry lost. And if you look at the margins by which he lost in those states, they were very thin. And so the reality is I think that after eight years of Bush and with a candidate who can appeal on many of the important issues as well as the independence that exists out in the West -- there's an independent streak in the West -- I think you can do very well.

WW: Speaking of those issues, with your position on the Senatorial Campaign Committee and looking at the West as unique voters, what kind of issues specifically do you see that are critical for Democrats to control or at least address going forward? You talk about those three states as being very critical states this time around, what are the issues that are important?

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On CBS’s Face the Nation this last Sunday, genial host Bob Schieffer asked General Wesley Clark to talk about John McCain’s war record, specifically his criticisms as to McCain’s readiness to serve in the highest office, and how that compares to Barack Obama’s. Fair enough.

But what it turned into was peculiar. Clark was making the salient point that even admirable military service doesn’t actually qualify a person to be President of the United States of America. This is just common sense -- just because someone may well be a hero in one sense doesn’t qualify them to lead in any capacity they’d choose.

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With Barack Obama slated to accept the Democratic presidential nomination on August 28, the 45th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech, black TV networks will be all over the convention in Denver.

In her piece in the June 30 Denver Post, Joanne Ostrow quotes TV One president Jonathan Rodgers about some of his coverage plans, including chef/on-air personality G. Garvin's first assignment, to "tell people where they can find fried food in Denver."

Just one problem: As detailed here, the Denver host committee, as part of its commitment to hosting the greenest convention ever, has banned fried foods in its Lean 'n Green guidelines for the convention.

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Vermont

Total Number of Delegates: 23
Pledged: 15
Unpledged: 8

How to Recognize a Vermont Delegate:
Vermont has a reputation as a haven for hippies and trust-funders, but loaded wannabes are only fooling themselves if they think they
can be a Green Mountaineer simply by relocating and becoming a hobby farm-uh. True Vermonters are more rare than a warm welcome in a Northeast Kingdom ski town. But don't call these independent individuals unfriendly: They’re just too busy fighting off McMansions and Wal-Marts to befriend idiot transplants in search of a fictitious Utopia. Life in Vermont has always been about hard work (well, at least from 5 a.m. until breakfast). Vermonters are the Americans to call when cows need to be milked, equal rights defended, wars won and mountains moved. They are the selfless servants who keep their noses to the grindstone in order to accomplish the miracles that others take credit for. They'd rather make a better world than muck around in other people's bullshit, damn ya! Of course, that kind of attitude means they don't spend a lot of time glad-handing, and will stick out at the Democratic Convention like social sore thumbs. Mostly, they’ll keep to themselves until provoked, and then they’ll talk too loudly and laugh at the wrong parts of a conversation. While their arms flail, their eyes will dart wildly in search of the exits. Remember the “Dean Scream”? Aiyah, ’nuff said! Vermonters will be the delegates who are all dolled up in their dress dungarees, handmade sweaters and rubberized loafers. Males will wear plaid wool hats with the earflaps down and have a tendency to slowly drift toward the dooryard. Females will settle comfortably into any situation, then take out their knitting and get to work on the pieces they need to sell (in craft co-ops from Bennington to Burlington) to pay for the winter's heating oil.

Famous Vermonters:
21st United States president Chester A. Arthur; 30th United States president Calvin Coolidge; original apostles of the Mormon Church Joseph Smith, Brigham Young and Heber C. Kimball; Seventh-Day Adventist Church founder Rachel Oakes Preston; Panama Canal engineer Lindon Wallace Bates; Spanish-American War hero Admiral George Dewey; tractor-happy John Deere; dental laughing-gas pioneer Gardner Quincy Colton; rodeo jeans inventor Harry David Lee; Alcoholics Anonymous founders Bob Smith and Bill W.; land-mine-banning Nobel Prize winner Jody Williams; master painter William Morris Hunt; pioneer snowflake photographer Wilson Bentley; “American Elf” cartoonist James Kolchaka; indie-art sensation Miranda July; entertainer Rudy Vallee; Weather Channel beefcake Jim Cantore; singer-songwriter JoJo (full name: Joanna Noelle Blagden Levesque); skiers Andrea Mead-Lawrence, Suzy "Chapstick" Chaffee and the Cochran family; snowboarder Ross Powers.

Famous Vermont Democrats:
77th governor Madeleine M. Kunin; 79th governor and current Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean; senior United States senator Patrick Leahy; United States representative Peter Welch; state House Speaker Gaye Symington; Senate Majority Leader John F. Campbell; Assistant Majority Leader Claire Ayer.

Famous Vermonters With Denver Connections:
Colorado silver king Horace W. Tabor; gangland bunko-artist organizer Lou "The Fixer" Blonger; eighth lieutenant governor David H. Nichols; bon vivant and city builder Barbara Mcfarlane; renaissance man Gregory Ego; University of Denver skiing coach David Stewart.

State Nickname: The Green Mountain State (official); Gateway to Montreal, Little Canada, Brrrmont, Vermonster Island (unofficial)
Population: 623,908
Racial Distribution: 97% white, 1% black, 1% Asian, 1% Hispanic
Per Capita Personal Income: $30,740
Unemployment: 5.6%

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