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Texas Loves You Anyway

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Karen Brooks of the Dallas Morning News certainly isn't the first person to take umbrage with Westword cartoonist Kenny Be's point of view, especially his Delegating Denver , an online series devoted to profiling the 56 state and territory delegations.

But in this case, Brooks wasn't insulted because Kenny was mean; she was insulted because he wasn't mean enough!

In an "open letter to Westword writers" (which was nice but not necessary, since Delegating Denver is all Kenny), posted in the paper's political blog, she writes:

Howdy ya'll.

Oh, where to begin.

The alt weekly in Denver, "Westword," has been doing a series of state parodies in the run-up to the Democratic Convention and finally, this week, got to Texas.

While they do have some great examples of famous Texans (Arcade Fire? Nice alt music reference...) I've got two words for the good folks at Westword:

Missed. Opportunity.

If you're lookin for stereotypes, wow - the Texas assignment is the easiest of them all. Low-hanging fruit, right?

I mean.. PLENTY OF MATERIAL, RIGHT?

Erm, wrong. Apparently.

"Texans are famous the world over for their enthusiastic desire to fix things that are not broken. ... as evidenced by George Bush's Iraq project, Jessica Simpson's Dallas Cowboy QB football-busting scheme and Dr. Phil's Britney Spears rehab program.... "

What, because Britney Spears ain't broken? (Ok, sorry, couldn't resist that one)

"Delegates from Dallas will love to dress up and eat breakfast at Burger King while looking down their noses at fellow patrons. .... Austin is the new Berkeley, and delegates from the state's capital will dress like librarians, often reaching for a sweater when the temps dip below 76º F, and talk exclusively about dogs and composting."

Now, while we roll our eyes at the idea of a Dallasite in Burger King (has one ever actually been sighted there?!), I gotta specifically address the description of Austin.

They're right about the sub-76-degree weather. But anyone who's ever been to Austin knows darn well we don't dress like librarians and carry sweaters and brag about composting.

We dress like we're on Spring Break, and we carry guitars and brag about how we're nothing like the rest of Texas.

So if you're gonna take potshots at us, we hope you'll remove the kid gloves and do it right next time - make fun the things we're really proud of.

Like the fact that salsa is our official state condiment. Like the fact that we HAVE an official state condiment. And that our official state cowboy boot is, well, the cowboy boot.

Two of the more notable accomplishments of our state Legislature in the last few years. Unless you count their regular field trips to Albuquerque and Oklahoma.

Not to mention the tall hats, loud women, and our inability to pronounce "jalapeno" without the 'j", or "guadalupe" with the 'e' ... anywhere north of San Antonio.

But thanks for tryin.... See you in August!



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