Zen master attorney David Lane led a First Amendment seminar today at Denver University for a large gathering of legal disciples seeking free speech enlightenment before the Democratic National Convention.

"Your right to free speech goes as far as cop's billy club will allow," said Lane, whose most recent client, Carol Kreck, was ticketed for holding a sign in front of a John McCain event.

Police officers, Lane went on to quip, "need to spend less time at the shooting range and more time in the law library."

Seriously, the guy could write fortune cookies. -- Jared Jacang Maher