Most broadcast operations at the Pepsi Center during the Democratic National Convention are ensconced on the club level, and when I entered the zone, I found no security, no technicians, no one at all -- except for Dick Wadhams, head of the Colorado Republican Party and former Westword profile subject who recently appeared in a blog on this site after successfully driving state Dems to distraction simply by uttering the word "ass." We had a good laugh about that last one before moving on to other topics. He wasn't sure precisely when big name Republicans would be hitting town -- he thought Mitt Romney was scheduled to arrive today, with Rudy Giuliani following tomorrow. When I asked if they'd actually make their way to the Pepsi Center, he replied, "Oh no. They wouldn't let them in here." Wadhams had no trouble gaining entrance, however, happily sharing his views during an appearance on Channel 31, with another to follow. As for his take on the convention to date, he called it "great theater." I suspect he didn't mean that in a nice way. -- Michael Roberts

In the melee of the insatiable, frenzied Obama-fucking that currently is D-town, Colorado, there are glimmers of opposition – fratty, white heads that suddenly poke out of holes, making one wish he was clutching a Whac-A-Mole baton. They are McCain supporters, and whether you like them or hate them, they’re here. En route to downtown last night with a buddy of mine, Jim Hickox, we pulled up to a red light outside the performing arts center, only to be accosted by McCain boosters holding signs and waiving at us. They were Chads through and through, and were exhibiting a zeal typically reserved for date rape. It was one of those uncomfortable, homeless-guy-on-the-corner moments, where you try to pretend you don’t see the guy even though he knows that you see him and then all involved hate themselves and each other and the world. But borrowing a page from Jim’s joke book, I decided to remedy the situation.
“Hey I love John McClane!” I yelled out the window. “Die Hard rules!”

The steak-head duo leading the group looked at each other in astonishment, then slowly processed the information.

“Die Hard does rule!” one yelled back.

Now that’s across-the-aisle politics. -- Adam Cayton-Holland

In the world of DNC-related merchandise, some souvenirs rise to the top of the pile. (And they're not all condoms). Here’s a favorite found last night, outside the Pepsi Center: “Gay Republican Hypocrites Playing Cards.”

Created by some pals from Austin, Texas, these stunningly detailed cards are tiny encyclopedias of political scandal. They’re meant to point out the absurdity of GOP bigwigs who run on anti-gay platforms then get caught in less-than-straight sex scandals.

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Drove past the Pepsi Center a couple of times on Saturday to get a passing look at the DNC preparations there. The first time by, two enormous groups of police officers, clad in full riot gear, posed in separate locations across the street from the arena, as if ready and waiting for visitors packing Minoltas. But the real surprise came the second time around. A large number of folks were lined up outside the CNN headquarters, in what is usually Brooklyn's, apparently in the hope of watching the likes of (ohmygod! ohmygod!) Wolf Blitzer in action. At that moment, a woman broke off from the main pack, moved to the curb and tried to hail a cab. Fat chance, I thought: This may work in the Big Apple, but not in little ol' Denver. But literally within seconds, a taxi materialized, pulled over and picked her up.

What the hell? What city is this again? -- Michael Roberts

So on August 21, four days before the start of the Democratic National Convention, Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice says the United States and Iraq have agreed that timetables should be set for U.S. troop withdrawl from the wartorn country, and major news agencies are reporting the target as 2011 -- a little later than either Barack Obama or the Iraqi government would prefer, but in the ballpark. Well, I, for one, don't believe that cynical political calculations or an interest in taking the sting out of an issue sure to be enormous part of the Denver bash played any part in the timing of this announcement. Oh yeah: I also think professional wrestling is totally on the level. Glad to have finally gotten that off my chest. -- Michael Roberts

The August 12 primary election results don't overflow with surprises. The electorate proved again that name recognition is the most important factor when turnout is low. Hence the victories of Mike Coffman, well known as Colorado's secretary of state, and former Westword profile subject Jared Polis, who purchased his notoriety via a $5.3 million campaign contribution to himself, in their respected Congressional races. Still, the real tragedy -- from a journalist's perspective, anyhow -- was the defeat of Douglas Bruce, who lost his reelection bid for the state House of Representatives by a single digit margin to Air Force veteran Mark Waller.

No more Doug to dig? That's even less of a kick than the one he took at a Rocky Mountain News photographer when he was sworn in to office earlier this year.

Fortunately, Bruce has certainly proven capable of making a stir outside of the legislature. Read on for examples.

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Our sister paper in Phoenix carries a lengthy cover story this week about the Arizona legacy of John McCain, who allegedly is some sort of presidential candidate (although I haven't seen him on the cover of any magazines. Weird.)

The story -- "Postmodern John McCain: the presidential candidate some Arizonans know — and loathe" -- features some amusing appearances from former Nugget and 'Zona senator Mo Udall, father of Colorado Congressman Mark. They include this little ditty:

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The August 6 Denver Post brings us "Cindy McCain is Perfect for First Lady," in which Frances Owens, Colorado's former first lady, and her daughter Monica spend 337 words to say, in essence, "We know Cindy McCain. Cindy McCain is a friend of ours. And she could be the next Jackie Kennedy." Which is fine, I guess -- but it isn't exactly a good use of newsprint, especially given the shrinking amount of available editorial space in the average Denver daily. More »

Justin Schaffer, son of Republican Senate candidate Bob Schaffer, is truly sorry about his Facebook page, according to this story in the Denver Post. The site, which has been taken down but can still be found mirrored here, contained stuff guaranteed to provide political ammo against Justin's dad, including a picture of the pyramids with the declaration "Slavery Gets Shit Done" (see above) and an image of a machine-gun toting Republican Jesus with a backdrop of a Confederate flag.

Talk about a macaca moment. Having put the wrong state's mountain in his ad, muffed inquiries about his support of indentured servitude (it gets things done!) in the Mariana Islands, unleashed Dick Wadhams to boast how's he going to shove ads "up the ass" of opponent Mark Udall, and otherwise screwed the pooch, can the Schaffer campaign tumble into any worse hole than this?

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Which is weird, because if you're going to go to the trouble to ask God to take time off from his weekly Pai Gow game to ensure that a torrential downpour dampers the mood during Barack Obama's acceptance speech, why wouldn't you just ask God to rig the vote? It'd be a lot easier, and it wouldn't mess up anyone's hair.

See the really weird video after the jump. -- Joe Tone

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