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A Real Page-Turner

"As I reviewed all of the documents for this hearing today, I felt like I was looking at a proposal for a made-for-TV movie," Colorado Congresswoman Diana DeGette said last Thursday as the House Energy and Commerce subcommittee convened. And this hearing wasn't even about the still-to-break scandal of disgraced Florida Representative Mark Foley (pictured), but all the skullduggery at Hewlett-Packard.

If the HP scandal is a made-for-TV movie, then what's the Foley debacle? "Maybe Nightmare on Elm Street -- for the Republicans," offers DeGette aide Chris Arend.

DeGette released a more sobering statement on Foley yesterday. But we wish she'd stick with her TV theme. The philandering Floridian who blames his prediliction for young, male pages on booze would make a great addition to the cast of 7th Heaven, which is trying to spice things up now that the show about a minister's family has been saved on the CW.

Just imagine what a page-turner it would be as Foley takes up with those twin boys! "Well, strip down and relax..." -- Patricia Calhoun

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