Lobster Sex Champagne, July 30

The entire breadth of digitized human knowledge at their fingertips and this is what America is searching today:

Tom Snyder
Long live Snyder, the host of the The Late Late Show, who died at the age of 71 yesterday. TMZ reports his catchphrase on the show Tomorrow, was “Fire up a colortini, sit back, relax and watch the pictures, now, as they fly through the air." What the hell is a colortini?

Colortini
Wikipedia, that always reliable repository of minutia, reports that a Colortini is a mythical drink Snyder invented as the perfect alcoholic companion to his show. Colortini.com was apparently maintained by Snyder until earlier this year when it was taken down. The domain name now returns a page offering links that send readers to hair-coloring websites.

Christy Freeman
CNN will tell you all about it, I can't put the horror into words.

Rural Cellular
Marketwatch.com is reporting Verizon has agreed to buy the Alexandria, Minnesota-based Rural Cellular Corp. for $2.67 billion. When reached for comment, some random Vikings fan said that, yes, he could indeed hear me now. I'm sorry for that joke, by the way. It hurt me more than it hurt you.

Los Angeles Girl Love
God bless you, America.

--Sean Cronin