Best of Westword Winners From 1988

Categories: Best of Denver

JohnElway.jpgIn 1988, Westword published its fifth Best of Denver issue, a celebration of the city that saluted everything from the Best Band (the Subdudes, just going national) to the Best Hungry Young Band (Big Head Todd and the Monsters, long before they started singing Hillary Clinton’s song) to the Best Happy Hour (the first appearance by McCormick’s in a category it would soon own) to Best Comeback for Tiny Town, saved by a brave band of realtors. Not winning Best Comeback was Best Bronco John Elway, who’d just lost his second Super Bowl, making Denver “a town that’s never been No. 1 in anything but carbon monoxide level,” according to a CBS reporter.

But like Elway, other 1988 winners have kept making headlines – and earning accolades. In 1988, Chuck Morris Entertainment was honored as Best Music-Biz Manager on a Roll, and now, after thirty years in the promotions business, you’d think that Morris would have nothing left to prove – except, perhaps, to himself. He’s opened such storied clubs as Tulagi and Ebbett’s Field and turned ramshackle Mammoth Gardens into Fillmore Auditorium. But after leaving Live Nation last year for Anschutz Entertainment Group, Morris is ready to roll the dice on another grand plan: the Mile High Music and Arts Festival, planned for next summer in City Park. “I’m as excited about this as anything I’ve ever done,” says Morris. Sounds like another winner to us. Here are the winners from 1988:

Best of Denver 1988

SURVIVAL

Best Neon Strip –
E. Colfax to I-25

Best Place to Wait Out a Blizzard –
Rip Griffin truck stop I-70 west of Limon

Best Name Change –
The former John W. Kriss

Best Joke by a Colorado Cleryman on the "Tonight Show" –
"One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go".

Best Song About Gary Hart –
Tom Paxton's "The Ballad of Gary Hart"

Best Award for Gary Hart from a Colorado Group –
Blazing saddle award with a cow pie cluster.

Best Christmas Tree at the Festival of Trees –
The Rockwell International tree.

Best Christmas Light Gawking –
4200 block of Bryant

Best Graveyard Walking –
Riverside Cemetery

Best Place to Get Saved at Lunch Hour –
The 16th street mall

Best April Fool's Joke-
Tag Team Ascended Mistresses Channeling Classic

Best Colorado Aphrodisiac –
Cattle gallstone

Best Monument to Worker Productivity –
Memorial to mama CSU Dairy Center

Best Graffiti –
The Greenway

Best Reserved Parking –
3400 block of Fox

Best Reason Not to Fly –
Billy Morency (8 year old pilot).

Second Best Reason Not to Fly –
Lot #2 at Stapleton Airport

Best Bumper Sticker –
"Denver - piss on your lawns". (Signed by the Friends of the South Platte)

Best Proof of Why Punctuation is Important Bumper sticker "Save lives. Support Head on 83".

Best Imitation of The Shining –
1600 block of Utica.

Best Place to Live in The Entire Country –
Pueblo

Best Joke About Pueblo –
A patient with a terminal illness is told to move to Pueblo. The patient asked if they had a cure there. The response was, no you won't live any longer it will just seem that way. (Senator Dave Wattenberg)

Second Best Joke About Pueblo –
"Remember to flush, Pueblo needs the water."

Best News for An Also-ran city –
Fort Collins gets a bigger dot on Rand McNally maps.

Best Place to Say, "Another Round Please" –
Colorado Front Range

Best Place to Say, I Don't Know, What Do You Think? –
Denver (highest per capita of Psychiatrists than anywhere else in the country.)

Best Place to Just Say Yes –
Western Slope of Colorado (highest per capita use of mind altering drugs in the nation).

Best Activity for Prison Inmates This Side of Making License Plates-
Canon City inmates who were involved in tax fraud ring.

Best Confession –
Jaime Quesada confessed to unpaid taxes and a murder in Milwaukee.

Best Colorado Judgment –
Judge Zita Weinshienk's decision that regulations banning mention of abortion to patients at federally funded family clinics were unconstitutional.

Best Good Samaritan Act –
Terry Hance, who was pulled over for speeding - proceeded to turn her car around and flash her headlights to warn oncoming traffic.

Second Best Good Samaritan Act –
C.L. Nordstrom and his wife's refusal of social security.

Best Request of the Denver Courts –
Quintin Wortham's request to get a new haircut before his trial.

Best New Legal Trend –
Defendants are increasingly asking for their own attorneys.

Best Pro Bono Lawyer –
Ken Gordon

Best Person to Call if You're a City Employee Who Has Just Been Filmed by Paula Woodward –
Wayne Whitney

Best Colorado Performance by a Former President-
Jimmy Carter's imitation of Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent".

Best Use of a Flag –
Pat Schroeder's pose for Ms. Magazine in Old Glory.

Best Reason to Vote Again and Again for Tim Wirth –
Wirth's seminar in Washington.

Second Best Reason to Vote for Tim Wirth –
Wirth's idea that the next US/USSR cultural exchange should be a rodeo.

Best Turnover by a Governor –
Romer's warning that if the airport bill did not pass, that the Far East might buy up Colorado.

Best Resolution by the State Legislature –
For Denver to "hold the plow" and city motorists to "hold the Key".

Best Debate in the Colorado House –
The House's proposal to ban food from the House floor and committee rooms.

Best Senate Session –
The state Senate's meeting for six minutes on April 2.

Best Bureaucratic Preventative Medicine –
The Boulder County Attorney’s issue of an anti-toilet paper memo to all county offices.

Best Mother-daughter Performance at a Public Hearing –
Jennifer and Susie Octant’s debate over a curfew for Greenwood Village youth.

Best Bureaucratese –
University Park Postal Station

Best Bureaucrat –
Jim Griesemer

Best Suburb –
Aurora

Best Neighborhood –
Globeville

Best Place to Buy a House Cheap –
The 100-1200 block between Knox and Perry.

Best Place to Buy a Mansion Cheap –
Martin Davis' Cherry Hills home.

Best City Agency –
Denver's Forester's Office

Best Excuse for Getting Out of a Parking Ticket –
Distraction by dinosaur

Best Denver Councilmember (tie) –
Stephanie Foote, Cathy Donohue

Best Press Hog –
Norm Early

Best Pension Plan –
Denver Police and Firefighters

Best Rambo Imitation –
Mike Silva

Second Best Rambo Imitation –
The Denver Police

Best Weenie Response to the Rambo Like Displays –
Channel 9's explanation for Silva's Silva's act.

Best Hairdo on a TV Anchor –
Monica Gayle

Best Pompadour –
John Lindsey, KMGH

Best Local Commercial –
The carpet contractors.

Best Local News Story –
The Denver Post's story entitled "Man not asleep".

Best Headline in the Denver Post –
"Man Hacked to Death had lead tough life."

Best Classified Ad –
Frances Evans ad in the Loveland Reporter Herald.

Best TV Weatherman –
Nick Carter, KUSA

Best Television Sportscaster –
Les Shapiro, KCNC

Best Radio Talk-show Host-
Ken Hamblin

Best Newspaper Columnist-
Francese Melrose

Best Unsung Colorado Celebrity-
Ann B. Davis

Best Colorado Celebrity-
T.D. Lingo

Best Local TV Anchor –
Ed Sardella, KUSA

Best Local News –
10 p.m., KUSA

SPORTS & RECREATION

Best Bimbo Watching –
Spring on the Metro State College campus

Best Hunk Alerts –
Summer at any inner-city municipal swimming pool.

Best Sports Lawsuits –
Patrick Rowley vs. Erie High School

Best Skill-Crane –
Pistol Pete's

Best Armchair Adventures –
South American Explorers Club

Best Field Trip –
Fungophile'd Mexico

Best Annual Sporting Event –
University of Colorado-Boulder Alumni Football Game

Best Guess for When the Broncos Will Win the Super Bowl –
Never

Best Bronco –
John Elway

Best Place to Buy Bronco Tickets When No One Else Has Them –
Four mile house

Best Reportorial Enterprise –
KCNC reporter who bribed his way into a ticket line for an AFC championship game

Best Shorts Story –
Bill Armstrong sends Reagan a Bronco t-shirt, and Pat Schroeder sends Bronco shorts

Best Anatomical Mix-up –
Vance Johnson's Rocky Mountain News "Super Bowl Diary"

Best Correct Use of Anatomy –
Linda Kirchner paints herself blue and rides through Denver on an orange horse.

Best Crystal Balls-
Colorado Psychic Center Only Giving Three Picks to the Broncos Super Bowl Score

Best Example of Giving One's All for the Game –
Mrs. Coet's dedicated viewing of Bronco games - until her heart attack

Best Slap at Denver –
CBS news reporter Bob McNamara report on the Broncos Super bowl loss

Best Proof We Deserved It –
Denver officials coming up with their own list of Denver firsts

Best Explanation for the Broncos Loss –
3 patients at Mt. Airy Psychiatric center were convinced that they were controlling the Broncos with their brain

Best Proof that Pig-skin Players Aren't Necessarily Pig-headed –
The Metropolitan State College Football Club has established a scholarship fund for single mothers

Best Nugget –
Fat Lever

Best Short Guy-
Michael Adams

Best Lunch Hour Pickup for Basketball –
Downtown YMCA

Best Baseball Stadium –
Sky Sox Park

Best Golf Course –
Riverdale

Best Caddy –
Frank Copperfield

Best Golf Lessons –
Bryan Smith

Best Reason Not to go Golfing –
One of Sam Cohen's golf balls hit a moving car, and Cohen was later assaulted by the driver

Best Mountain Bike Ride –
Crested Butte to Aspen

Best Mountain Bike Ride in the Mountains –
Highway 34, Drake to Glen Haven

Best Classic Bike Shop –
Retro Cycle

Best Stress Relieving Bicycle Club –
Chiropractic Cycling club

Best New Sport Invented in Colorado –
Mountain Bike polo

Best Wheel and Deal –
Portia Masterson's Golden Unicycle Club

Best Place to Find a Skate Bike and Probably the Means of Your Demise –
Fad Tastics

Best Train Trip –
Cumbres & Toltec Railroad Antonito

Best Place for a Model Train Fanatic to Spend the Afternoon –
Caboose Hobbies

Best Train Fanatics –
Ken & Stephanie Olsen

Second Best Train Fanatics –
Earl & Betty Thorne

Best Place to Skateboard Downtown –
RTD Civic Center Terminal

Best Place for Teenagers to do What Comes Naturally –
Sand Creek Park

Best Place for Teenagers to go in Drag –
Bandimere Speedway

Best Place to Learn to be James Bond –
ESI 500 W. Main, Aspen

Best Place to Learn Not to be a Stick in the Mud –
Off road driving school of America

Best Four Wheel Drive Trail –
Tin cup pass

Best Mountain Drive –
Omigod Rd.

Best Car Ride to put Cranky Kids to Sleep –
Through Morrison to Echo Lake

Best Way to Hoof it Through Colorado –
Backcountry Llamas

Best Ski Area –
Winter Park/Mary Jane

Best Luxurious Ski Rental –
Trapper's Cabin

Best Way to Rent a Ski Condo –
Community Action Development Corporation

Best Daypacks –
Jefferson County Nature Center

Best Picnic Shelters –
Robert F. Clements Park

Best Urban Bird Watching –
Downtown Denver

Best Bird Watching Project-
The Colorado Bird Atlas Partnership

Best Place to see Prairie Dogs –
Plains conservation center

Best Way to Thank Mother Nature –
Volunteers for Outdoor Colorado

Best Do-it-Yourself Recreation –
"Guide to Colorado Natural Resource Recreation"

Best Way to Spend a Lazy Sunday Afternoon –
City Park Paddle Boats

Best Public Weightlifting Gym –
Rude Park

Best Training Ground for the Wildly Unfit –
Rocky Mountain Lake Park

Best Drug Wall –
Voorhies Memorial, Civic Center Park

Best Urban Park –
Inspiration point

Best Public Garden Park –
Alamo Placita Park

Best Urban Amenity –
The parks people

Best Down-And-Dirty Range War –
Saturday morning radio.

Best Gardening Plot –
The Botanic Gardens Community Vegetable Gardening Program.

Best Pool Hall –
Family Fun Center

Best Pool Hall from the Twilight Zone –
Tramway recreation

Best Pool Shark –
Danny Medina

Best Local Invention if you Insist on Courting Skin Cancer –
The Cool spray, Michael J. Butler.

Best Public Swimming Pool –
Westminster City Park, Recreation Center Pool

Best Swimming Pool High Diving Board –
Columbine Country Club

Best Place to Learn Scuba Diving –
Denver Divers supply and Training Center

Best Wet Spectator Sport –
Boulder Aqua teens Synchronized swim team

Best Hot Spring Partying –
Valley View Hot Springs

Best Hot Spring - Male or Female Bonding –
Indian Springs Resort

Best Bolleyball Court –
Robert Clements Park

Best Windsurfing –
Bear Creek Lake Park

Best Small Scale Re-creation of Miami Vice –
Richard Brad ford’s Mile High Modelers

Best In-town Walk on the Wild Side –
Under the 20th Street viaduct.

Best Walk for Mothers To Be –
Aurora Mall

Best Easy Hike with the Kids –
Elk Mountain

Best Playground –
Cheesman Park

Best Sight to See Before it Disappears –
South Platte River Canyon

Best Free Fly-fishing Lessons –
The Flyfisher

Best Bamboo Fishing Rods –
Charlie Jenkins

Best Hand-tied Flies –
Bob's Rod and Tackle Shop

Best Artificial Bait –
Lucky Lou's Artificial Eggs

Best Place to Fish and Never Catch Anything –
Evergreen Lake

Best Fishing Reel Collection –
Gary Reynolds

Best Local Monument to the Sport of Fishing –
The Del County Fishing Museum, Forney Transportation Museum

Best Vicarious Mountain Climbing Thrill –
REI Climbing Extravaganza

Best Horseback Ride –
Mt. Falcon Park

Best Place to Meet Cowboys During the Stock Show –
Denver Coliseum Basement

Best Way to Get a Jump on the Competition –
Skip-Its Douglas Elementary School

Best Recreational Club –
Chickens from Heck Motorcycle and Bridge Club

Best Classes if You're Hot to Foxtrot –
Michael Masciocci

Best Recreational Class –
Food sculpture at the Jewish Community Center

Best Place to Learn a Refined Sport –
Denver Croquet Club

Best in a Category by Itself –
Bang-a-Way Gun Club and Kennels

Best Curling Team –
Denver Curling Club

Best Turkey Caller –
Roger Trundell

Best Skeet-Shooting –
Broadmore Hotel

Best Shuffleboard –
Colorado Springs Shuffleboard Acia Park

Best New Sports Trend –
Pig Racing

Best Roller Ball Player –
Bob Lyons

Best Soccer Field –
The Denver Kicker Clubhouse

Best Soccer Referee –
Greg Todd

Best Used Sports Equipment –
Sports Plus

HALL OF FAME

Best Bike Path –
Cherry Creek Bike Path

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Best Place to Spend Money and Have Nothing to Show For It –
The Ramses Gift Shop, The Denver Museum of Natural History

Best Annual Slimy Event-
Frog rodeo, Empire

Best Annual Buckskinned Event –
Buffalo Bill's Birthday party, The Buckhorn Exchange

Best Annual Naked Fundraiser-
Shotgun Willie's Annual Gourmet Breakfast, charity donation and show

Best Annual Clothed Fundraiser-
Left-footer's ball

Best Comeback-
Tiny Town

Best Place to Take the Kids –
Nickel Days at Lakeside

Best Place for Well-Heeled Single Parents to Meet –
May D&F University Hills Mall

Best Friday Night Single Mingling –
Shangri-La Night Club

Best Place to Spend a Lonely Wednesday Night-
Saturday's

Best Place to Waste a Tuesday Afternoon –
Dog Court

Best Colorado Ambassadors to the World –
Horse Sense

Best Colorado Ambassador to the Johnny Carson Show –
Baxter Black

Best Colorado Ambassador to Costa Rica –
Dylana Jensen

Best Local Girl Makes Good –
Jill Sobule

Best Local Boy to Make it Big and Stop Returning Phone Calls –
Dave McKay

Best Music Biz Manager on a Roll –
Chuck Morris Entertainment

Best Ticket Deal –
The Ticket Bus

Best Museum Novelty –
The Sabre- Toothed Tiger Donation Bank, The Denver Museum of Natural History

Best New Museum- Canyon City

Best Reason for Adults to Go to the Children's Museum -
The Hugh M. Woods' Transparent House Exhibit

Best Museum Gift Shop –
The Colorado History Museum

Best Move to Put Denver on the National Art Map-
Denver Art Museum's Touring Shows

Best Unappetizing Art Exhibit –
"If Your Stomach Had Eyes", University of Colorado at Boulder

Best Mural –
Art Modern

Best Solution for Unwanted Art –
Ec-lec-Tic Art

Best Artists Business Card –
Christine Moughamin Vision of the Quest

Best Art Openings –
The Gang of Four 900 block of Broadway (Ink fish, Joan Robey, Alpha, Brigitte Schuler Galleries)

Best Art Openings Kegger Class –
Pirate: a Contemporary Art Oasis

Best highly controversial art show with police harassment –
"Denver Throw-Down” Progresso Gallery

Best art auction –
Annual Pirate: A contemporary Art Oasis Fundraiser

Best Art performance - One-act, one artist –
"Religious Rapture - Las Pintas de Jesus" Steven Batura, Edge Gallery

Best Art Performance - Multi-Act, Multiple Artists –
George Monchank Pirate: a Contemporary Art Oasis

Best Art Event –
Art Barn

Best Photography Gallery –
2/c - A Photographer's Co-op

Best New Gallery –
Edge Art Gallery

Best Child Memorization Act –
Kid Skits

Best Theatre Production-
"The Price" - Denver Center Theatre Company

Best Theatre Ensemble-
"12 Angry Men" Rocky Mountain Theatre Guild

Best Actress –
Sandra Ellis Lafferty

Best Actor –
Terry Burnsed

Best Director –
Frank Georgianna

Best Costumes –
Janet Morris "Koozy's Piece"

Best Community Theatre –
Eulipions Cultural Center

Best New Company –
Montage Productions

Best Reason to Look Forward to Next Year's Theatre Season –
Waiting for Godot with all female rolls at DCTC

Best Prize on a Game Show –
Trips to Colorado from the state's tourism board

Best Performance by Coloradoans on a Game Show –
17 Denverites on "Jeux Sans Frontiers'

Best Saturday Morning Cowboy Shows –
KDVR, channel 31

Best Late-Night Movie Programming –
KUBD, channel 59

Best Movie Theatre Popcorn –
AMC Theatres

Best Movie Theatre Snack Bar –
The Mayan Theatre

Best Armrest Drink-Holders –
The Tivoli

Best Low-Budget Revival of the John Travolta Story-
Super Saver Cinema 8 Bear Valley Shopping Mall

Best Place to Observe Technical Difficulties While Watching an English Movie-
The Mayan

Best Rambo-in-Drag –
Jan Hallez

Best Place for Hydrophobes –
Colorado Plaza 6

Best Place for Hungry Claustrophobics –
Cooper 7 Theatres

Best Place to Experience Multiple Marquee Changes During a Single Showing –
U-Hills Cinema

Best Second-Run Programming –
Muenzinger Auditorium, University of Colorado

Best Movie Theatre –
The Mayan

Best Drive-In –
E.88th Ave. Drive In

Best Free Help if You Forgot to Say No –
Addiction Free Radio

Best DJ for Hire –
Ira Gordon

Best DJ –
Sam Ferra, KTCL

Best Rock Radio Station –
KTCL, 93.3 FM

Best Jazz Station –
KUVO, 89.3 FM

Best Classical Radio Station –
KVOD, 99.5 FM

Best Move by Barry Fey –
Reopening the Rainbow Music Hall

Best Concert Promoter –
Nobody in Particular Presents

Best Concert –
Roy Orbison, Paramount Theatre

Best Convention –
The Nacho Men International Fan Club

Best Way to Just Say No to Heroin-
Buddhism

Best Solution for Keeping Local Musicians Solvent –
The Moment's Notice Orchestras

Best Supporter of Local Music –
Rocky Mountain Music Association

Second -Best Supporter of Local Music –
Roxanne, KBCO

Best Recording Studio –
JMC Music Group

Best Local Rock Band-
The Fluid, "Clear Black Paper"

Best Local Jazz Record –
The Jazz W.O.R.M.S, "Crawling Out"

Best Recording by a Long-Dead Performer –
Denver Symphony Orchestra with George Gershwin "Rhapsody in Blue"

Best Performance by an Experimental Group –
Gitanjali

Best Freudian Slip –
Duane Wolfe's announcement of "Porgy and Breast"

Best Place to Attend a Classical Concert –
Arvada Center for the Arts and Humanities

Best Opera –
Madame Butterfly, Central City Opera

Best Classical Performance Art-
Academy in the Wilderness' performance of "Facade" with readings by Gully Stanford and Jeanna Wearing

Best Collaboration with an Established Star –
Runaway Express with John McEuen

Best Local Musician's National Break –
Steve Conn

Best Place to Picnic Before a Concert –
Chautauqua Park

Best Original Songs –
"Blue water" - Big Head Todd and the Monsters
"Broken Bracelets"- Electric Third Rail
"Deep in the Mighty Jungle" - Zulu
"The Good Life"- Bobby Allison
"I Can't be the one you want me to be tonight" - Hollywood Rodeo Band
"Let's Rock Again"- The Rock Advocates
"Rio Grande Zephyr"- Tony Roam
"Rosalie"- Bop Street
"Tight Pants, Boots and Electric Guitars"-Dick and the Chicks
Honorable mention:
"Attention K-Mart Shoppers (Blue Light Special on Love)"- Great Exhume

Best Local Band with a Conscience –
The Korvettes

Best Underground Band –
Legion of Death

Best Dance Band-
Orchestra King Mama

Best Jazz Group –
Freddie Rodriguez and the Jazz Connection'

Best Fusion Band –
Wu Wei

Best Highbrow Jazz Group –
Paul Warburton and Dale Bruning

Best Swing Band-
Sam Biven's New Wave Orchestra

Best Country & Western Band –
The Stardust Lounge House Band

Best Rap Artist –
Lisa G

Best Rock Band-
Wanker

Best Hungry Young Band –
Big Head Todd and the Monsters

Best Longevity in a Local Band –
The Rock Advocates

Best Band –
Subdudues

Best Place to Run into Jake Jabs –
Anywhere the Lawmen play

Best Shredded Stage Wear –
Bob Drake

Best Band Mobile –
The Rock Tots' 1967 Cadillac hearse

Best Band Packaging-
Alarming Trends

Best Band Name –
Tri-State Kill Spree

Best Gentlemen Bouncers –
John DeAlva and Sam Collins

Best Audience for Live Music-
Hampden Cafe

Best Club –
The Casino Cabaret

Best Showcase for Local Talent-
The Garage at XXIII Parrish

Best Club for a New Band - (tie)
Longhorn Saloon

Best Metal Head Venue –
Bangel's

Best Blues Club –
Ziggie's

Best Place to Dance –
Teletunes Night at Rock Island

Best Jazz Club –
El Chapultepec

Best Club for People Watching Under the Guise of Listening to Jazz-
The Regas Cafe

Best View at a Concert-
Fiddler's Green Amphitheatre

Best Name for a Cocktail Lounge-
The My-O-My Room at the Golden Bell Diner

Best Globeville Drinking Route –
The Blue Blaze Bar, 5300 Washington
The Riverfront Cafe, 3100 Arkins Court
The Two Mule Inn, Denargo Market
Dan's Corner Tavern, 5302 Brighton Blvd.,
The Welcome Inn, 3759 Chestnut Place

Best Singles Bar –
The Paramount Cafe

Best After-Hours Club –
XXIII Parrish

Best Bathroom –
Club L.A.

Best C & W Club-
Charlie Horse II

Best Sports Bar –
Campus Lounge

Best Mountain Bar –
The Gold Coin, Central City


Best Neighborhood Bar – Downtown –
The Wazee

Best Neighborhood Bar - Central –
The Bay Wolf

Best Neighborhood Bar - East –
Iliff Park Saloon

Best Neighborhood Bar -South –
Piazza di Fiore

Best Neighborhood Bar - West –
Edgewater Inn

Best Neighborhood Bar - Boulder –
Juanita's

GOODS &SERVICES

Best Present for the Anal-Retentive Female in your Family –
Harley-O-Gram

Best Tattoo Artist –
Chas Budde, Rocky Mountain Tattoo

Best Holiday Tattoo Deal-
Wizard's Workshop, Body Tattoos and Emporium of Design

Best 24-Hour Fireworks Store –
Roger's Wholesale Fireworks

Best Cross-Checking –
Christian Check Designers, Inc.

Best New Age Bookstore –
Together Books

Best Crystal Prices –
Journey

Best Crystal Ball Prices –
Hall's Of Denver

Best Occult Store-
The Faerie's Garden

Best Apothecary-
Moon- Sun Emporium

Best Psychic-
Jan Main

Best Tarot Reader –
Kim Landers

Best Career Change –
Wayne Pound

Best Rocks and Dinosaur Supplies –
Nature's Own

Best Place to Dawdle During Lunch Hour –
The Great Train Store, Tabor Center

Best Mall for Teen Metal-Head Action –
Westminster Mall

Best Mall Mix –
Alameda and Sheridan

Best Place to Buy a Wedding Gift for the Couple Who Has Everything –
In-Tech Design

Best Import Store –
Mesa Imports

Best Place to Buy a Gown that Makes you Look like Miss America –
Shoyer's Boutique, Tabor Center

Best Cool Chatchkas and Hip Fashions –
Applause

Best Crafts & Jewelry –
The Artisan Center

Best Place to Buy a Kimono –
Kobun-Sha Imports

Best Tophats and Derbies-
Blands

Best Vintage Hats –
The Treasured scarab

Best Women's Shoe Collection –
Garbarini

Best Men's Shoe Selection –
The Wild Pair

Best Tie Selection –
Disabled American Veterans Thrift Store

Best Party Ties –
Double Exposure neckties

Best Square Dance Dresses –
Bobbi's Corner

Best Western Wear Store –
PMM Western Wear and Saddlery

Best Vintage Western Wear Displays-
Rockmount Ranchwear

Best Vintage Store –
Candy's

Best Thrift Store- Clothes –
Value Village

Best Thrift Shop - Stuff-
S-O-S Indoor Flea Market

Best Sixties Retro –
Pop-A-Rama

Best Nursery –
Schlichenmayer's Old Farm Nursery

Best Combination Business –
Dino-Gram and The Garden Doctor

Best Place to Learn How to Build a Log Cabin –
The Rocky Mountain Log

Best Stainless Steel Kitchen Containers –
United Glassware and China

Best Antique Doorknobs –
Grandpa Snazzy's Hardware

Best Cheap Antique Wicker and Wicker Repair –
Wicker and Wood

Best Antique Store-
Packrat Antiques

Best Place to Buy a Murphy Bed –
Queen City Salvage

Best 976 Number –
The Bedtime Collection

Best Phone Service –
Ask-a-nurse

Best Buy at Pace Warehouse –
Condoms in bulk

Best Infertility Testing –
Family Fertility Center

Best Pregnancy Tests –
Lutheran Medical Center

Best Place to be Tested for AIDS –
Planned Parenthood

Best Clinic for Ailing Downtown Office Workers –
Larimer Health Care Center

Best Hospice –
Hospice of St. John

Best Hospital Room –
Rose Medical Center's Six North Suites

Best Mom and Pop TV & Appliances –
Valas Stores

Best Place to Buy Obsolete Recordings –
Don's Discs

Best Record Store Selection –
Music Disc

Best Record Store for Late Night Vinyl Junkies –
Sparky G's

Best Compact Discs –
Listen Up Disc Connection

Best Hangout for Jazz Fans –
Jazz Record Revial

Best Guitar Shop if You're a Rock and Roll Star –
Prosound Music Center

Best Guitar Shop if You are a Hummer and a Strummer –
H.B. Woodsong's

Best Violin Restorer –
R.T. Eggen

Best Relief for Music Maniacs –
Cinema Graphics

Best Video Rentals - Service-
Critic's Choice Video

Best Video Rentals - Selection –
Screenplay Superstore

Best Video Store if You're a Foreign Film Buff –
Video Phile

Best Women's Bookstore –
The Book Garden: A Women’s Bookstore

Best Used Bookstore –
Strindberg & Son

Best Save Your Ass Emergency Printer –
Kinko's Copies

Best Cheap Software –
The Generic Software Place

Best Vintage Hairdos –
Cleo's Styling Salon

Best Soviet Manicurist –
Hair Cartel

Best Person From Whom to Rent a Virgin Sacrifice Costume –
Laura at the American Costume Co.

Best Framing Supplies –
Rocky Mountain Molding

Best Craft Supplies –
Thompson's Hobbies and Crafts

Best Fabric Selection –
Denver Fabric

Best Place to Buy Styrofoam –
Styro Materials Co.

Best Map Store –
Pierson Graphics Corp.

Best Lifestyle Accessory for the Rich and Messy –
Man Maid Services

Best Private Detective –
Ken Deshaies, Deshaies & Assoc.

Best Antidote to a Bad Day at the Office –
Art Morris' Stressbuster Massage,
Rocky Mountain Health Touch

Best Shoe Repair by an Ex-CEO –
St. Simeon Shoe Repair Shop

Best Shoe Repair by an Ex-Strip Joint Owner –
Sid King's Drive Thu Shoe & Boot Repair

Best Old World Tailor –
John's Tailor Shop

Best Rug Restorers –
Robert Mann Oriental Rug Restoration

Best Doll Maker –
Helen Kish

Best Way for Kids to Make an Impression –
The Happy Stamper

Best Kid’s Haircut –
The Deziners Kid's Salon

Best Kids Newsletter –
Think, Inc.

Best Place for Pagan Kids to Mingle –
The Pagan Children's Gathering, Isis New Age Center

Best Place for a Kid to Get Some Respect –
The Young Americans Bank

Best Kids Dentist –
Elizabeth Barr

Best Baby Paraphernalia –
Lionel Playworld

Best Children's Clothes –
Broadway Southwest

Best Auto Body Work –
Beverley Hills Auto Body

Best Subaru/Mazda junkyard –
Subaru-Maz Stuff

Best Windshield Replacement While U Wait –
Edgewater Glass & Mirror Inc.

Best Auto Advisor –
C. Brian Robertson

Best Curbside Flower Show –
East Colfax and Colorado Blvd.

Best Really Free School –
Emily Griffith Opportunity School

Best Japanese Classes –
Nipponkan

Best Casual Way to Learn a Language –
The Denver Free Spanish Network

Best Way to Find the Lost Pet When the Situation is Hopeless –
Sherlock Hound

Best Holistic Vet –
Dr. Cade Gurney – Aspen Park Veterinary Hospital

Best Pet Adoptions –
High Country Basset Hound Rescue and Adoption Service

Best Colorado Kitty Litter –
Kitty Box

Best Pet Insurance –
Animal Health Insurance Co.

Best Birdbuster –
Signal Broadcast Productions, Inc.

Best Diet Dog Food –
Golden Days Dog Food

Best Deal for Dogs –
Colorado School of Dog Grooming

Best Pampered Pet Paradise –
Petsmart

Best Grocery-Store Copy Machine –
Safeway

Best Grocery Store Bags –
Alfalfa's

Best Entertainment in a Grocery Store Produce Section –
Safeway

Best Grocery Store –
Safeway

Best Candy Disguised as Health Food –
The Mountain Man Nut & Fruit Co.

Best Place to Buy Dried Squid Snacks –
Pacific Mercantile

Best Coffee Bean Selection –
Coffee Hut

Best Bakery –
Wheatridge Dairy & Bakery

Best Produce –
Jak-N-Jil Country Market

Best Game Cookbook –
The Colorado Catch Cookbook

Best Long-Distance Piece of Cake-
HB Bakery Connection

Best Alternative to Ground Round-
Dale's Exotic Game Meats

Best Organic Chicken –
Alfalfa's

Best Little Italy –
Mancinelli Italian market

Best Way to Take Something the Rest of Us Get Almost for Free and Make Big Bucks From It - Colorado Glacier Water

Best Wine Store –
The Wine Company

Best History of Moonshining Art –
Universal Liquors

HALL OF FAME

Best Bookstore –
The Tattered Cover.

Best Record Store-
Wax Trax

Best Used Record Store –
Albums on the Hill

Best Movers –
Movemasters

FOOD & DRINK

Best Host and Raconteur –
Punch Bohn, Eddie Bohn's Pig 'n Whistle

Second Best Host and Raconteur –
Pierre Wolf

Best Wisecracking Waitresses –
Lotus Room

Best Jewish Mother at an Oriental Restaurant –
Linda, Erawan Cafe.

Best Unofficial Uniforms –
Alicia Gonzalez, Lorraine Padilla and Brenda Aerts at La Fiesta Supper Club

Best Official Uniforms –
Bobby McGee's Conglomeration

Best Restaurant Inspector –
Dick Hann

Best Perk at the 1988 Restaurant Show-
Free Plastic Cockroaches

Best business strictly from hunger –
Food Bank of the Rockies

Best Restaurant Tour of Colfax –
Beth Fischer And Don Elliot

Best Name for a Defunct Restaurant –
Ciao!

Best Taped Music in a Restaurant –
Mandarin Cafe

Best Unexpected Folk Art in a Food Court –
Lakeside Mall

Best Unexpected Folk Art in a Fountain –
Maria's Bakery

Best Use of Chicken in Decor –
Lakewood Omelette Parlor

Best Use of Geometry in Decor –
Cashmere

Best Use of Available Space –
Today's Gourmet

Best Restaurant When Someone Else is Paying –
Rattlesnake Club

Best Setting for a Seduction –
The Manhattan Cafe

Best Romantic Restaurant –
The Amethyst Room at Cliff Young's

Best Restaurant with a View - Downtown –
McDonald's

Best Restaurant with a View - Mountains –
The Fort

Best All-Around Restaurant-
Strings

Best Food as a Night-Out Scheme –
Tante Louise

Best New Restaurant –
Zenith, The Tivoli

Best Cup of Coffee (Not to Mention Best Place to Meet a Foreign Exchange Student) –
The Market

Best Price on Kona Coffee –
Pacific Mercantile

Best Cheap Breakfast –
Chef Zorba's Cuisine

Best Hangover Cure by Waitress –
Benny's Place

Best Hangover Cure by Gutbomb –
Davie's Chuckwagon Diner

Best Hangover cure by grease-
Lighthouse Cafe

Best Hangover Cure by Menudo –
Mexico City Lounge

Best Eggs Benedict –
Today's Gourmet

Best Cinnamon Rolls –
Mama Pirogi's & Other Pleasantries

Best Sunday Brunch –
DeVine Cafe

Best Buffet with T& A –
Shotgun Willie's

Best Lunch Buy –
The Old Spaghetti Factory

Best Summer Cappuccino Break –
Paris on the Platte

Best Island of Serenity in a Crazy City –
Japanese Teahouse, Denver Botanic Gardens

Best High Tea –
Heatley's Teahouse

Best Free Happy Hour Food –
Satsuma

Best Inexpensive Happy Hour Food –
McCormick's Fish House

Best Dinner Under $5 –
Furr's Cafeteria

Best Desserts –
Lincoln 100

Best Munchies at 3 a.m. –
Mary & Lou's Cafe

Best Soda Fountain –
Watson's

Best Food Court Booth –
The Steakman

Best Lemonade –
Shish-Kabob

Best House Drink –
Tequila Sunrise/Seven Seas

Best Beer Buy –
White Spot

Best Wine List - Value –
Lincoln 100

Best Wine List - Quality –
The Normandy

Best Beer Selection - Boiler Room –
The Tivoli

Best Non-Alcoholic Wine & Beer List (Not to Mention Best Glass of Water)
Tuscany - Loew's Giorgio

Best Outdoor Cafe- Fusion –
1735 Arapahoe

Best Diner –
The Lariat Cafe

Best Soul Food-
Ethel's House Of Soul

Best Fast-Food Chain –
Popeye's Famous Fried chicken

Best Place to Eat Cheap with the Family –
Dino's Italian Food
Dino's Other Place

Best Kid's Meal Deal –
Peter Piper Pizza

Best Children's Menu-
Racine's

Best Chicken Noodle Soup-
The Cafe

Best Sandwich Buffet –
McGuire's Restaurant

Best Fried Egg Sandwich –
The DU Diner

Best Peanut Butter Sandwich –
The Atrium Bar and Grille

Best Bologna Sandwich and Peanut-Butter Pie Special –
Cugino's

Best Delicatessen –
Bagel Deli

Best Sauerkraut –
Auerbach's Delicatessen

Best Hash-
Chesby's

Best Turkey Dinner –
20th street cafe

Best Roast Pork –
Flynn's Inn

Best Chicken Fried Steak –
Gala Gardens

Best Fried Chicken –
Foucher's Creole Cafe

Best Barbecue –
Smokey's Barbecue House

Best French Fries –
Boardwalk Fries - Tabor Center

Best Hamburger –
The Parlour Bar and Restaurant

Best Hotdog –
Mustard's Last Stand

Best Restaurant for Non-Smokers –
New York Connection

Best Steakhouse –
Morton's of Chicago

Best American Restaurant –
Juniper Valley Ranch

Best Game Restaurant –
Red Lion Inn

Best Health Food Restaurant –
Green's Natural Foods Cafe

Best Salad Bar –
Denver Salad Co.

Best Healthy Takeout –
Bon Marche

Best Oysters-
McCormick's Fish House and Bar

Best Cioppino –
Fresh Fish Comp

Best Seafood Restaurant and Market –
Mostly Seafood

Best Calamari –
The Athenian

Best Greek Restaurant-
Central 1 Restaurant

Best Indian Restaurant –
Royal Peacock

Best Middle-Eastern Restaurant –
The Sultan

Best French Restaurant - Traditional –
The Normandy

Best French Restaurant - Nouvelle –
John's Restaurant

Best German Restaurant –
The Black Forrest Inn

Best Italian Restaurant –
Al Fresco

Best Spaghetti –
The Saucy Noodle Ristorante

Best Meat-Filled Cannoli –
Mama Mia Italian Ristorante & Pizzeria

Best Pizza – Slice –
Scotto's

Best Pizza –
Armando's Pizzeria of Cherry Creek

Best Moroccan Restaurant –
Mataam Fez

Best Jamaican Restaurant –
The Pepper Pot

Best Tempura –
L'Auberge Zen

Best Sushi –
Sushi Heights

Best Country Japanese –
Domo

Best Japanese –
Samurai Nippon Restaurant

Best Split Personality –
Daylight Donuts

Best Thai Restaurant –
Chao-Praya

Best Chao Gio –
Kim-Ba

Best Vietnamese Restaurant –
Kim's Vietnamese Cuisine

Best Crossover –
Chez Thoa

Best Dim Sum –
China Terrace

Best Chinese Takeout –
New China Restaurant

Best Cantonese –
Mee Yee Lin

Best Chinese –
Imperial

Best Central American Accent –
The Rattlesnake Grill, The Tivoli

Best Southwestern Restaurant –
Las Brisas

Best Imitation of a Real Mexican Restaurant –
Fajita's

Best Performance by a Mexican Restaurant –
Chubby Burger Drive-In.

Best Chips & Salsa –
Monterrey House

Best Green Chile –
La Casa De Rey

Best Quesadillas –
Juanita's Uptown

Best Red Chile Sauce –
Betty's Take-out

Best Batch of Chili by a Colorado Congressperson –
Pat Schroeder's chili for the Twelfth Annual Congressional Club Chili Cook-off

Best Breakfast Burrito –
Benny's Place

Best Fajita Salad –
Tosh's Hacienda

Best Chile Relleno –
Rosalinda's Mexican Cafe

Best Smothered Bean Burrito –
Taqueria Patzcuaro

Best Tacos –
La Casa de Manuel

Best Margaritas –
Sonora Inn

Best Mexican Restaurant –
RosaLinda's Mexican Cafe

HALL OF FAME:

Best Ice Cream –
Lickity Split

Best Chile Rellenos - Crispy –
La Fiesta


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