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Will the Real Ben Kronberg Please Stand Up?

Fri Dec 28, 2007 at 11:54:46 AM

Kronberg.JPG
Comedian Ben Roy attempts to sweep Ben Kronberg off the stage at Los Comicos Super Hilariosos on December 27.

The first time I saw comedian Ben Kronberg, he pulled a rabbit out of his hat, scaled Everest with a Sherpa on his back, and split a molecule of hydrogen with a karate chop so imperceptible the action could only be noted by the explosion that destroyed Denver, leaving a smoking crater in its wake. Satire, kids. Actually it was the Squire, and he did something I thought just as impossible, he held a room full of cynical hipsters and Colfax-swilling bottle rocketeers rapt between the blue lines of his little notebook. It is against the laws of physics for a body that size to exert such a gravitational pull.

The dude drops mad science.

And then there was last night. Kronberg took the stage at the Orange Cat as headliner of Los Comicos Super Hilariosos (a monthly show organized by Westword's own Adam Cayton-Holland). It seemed a perfect fit. Sure, Tig Notaro absolutely destroyed the show with a perfect set performed over the din of the ancient space heater, fighting off the cold of the drafty joint with a down-filled parka, but it was Ben who grew up, comedically speaking, in the Wrist Deep Productions nursery, and whose return marked his first trip back to the nurturing square state since his big move to Los Angeles, back into the arms of an audience already won over by the man's quirky charm.

He could have performed dental surgery and it would have been less painful.

No anti-doping policy would ban whatever Kronberg was on last night as performance enhancing. His dulled senses (and sensibilities) turned his schtick of deadpan, drawn-out delivery into a tedious torture tool for an audience that still wants so badly to adore the man.

Everybody loves the sound of a train in the distance, and the audience last night was willing to sit through the rumbling, rambling ruminations of the man as he eased his way into, we all hoped, a nice little set of one-liners. After attempting a failed crash course in the philosophy of funny, Kronberg dug into his notebook of jokes and stumbled over one punch line after the next. As each joke unraveled, the set spiraled out off control and, instead of sparing the audience, he just ran with it, telling the audience they were allowed to leave at any point or stick around to hear him “ramble off into oblivion.”

Some stuck around to hear him do just that, chuckling at the attempts of his fellow comics to get him off the stage. Everybody likes to watch a train wreck.

As he talked and talked and talked and talked about nothing, the audience seemed to stumble into understanding that what we were watching was not only not funny, it was kind of sad. He held onto that mic like the little comic that could, clutching to an identity he's created for himself as the eccentric funny man. You could almost see him thinking, “If I let go of this set, I let go of myself.” Taking turns between berating the host of the show and admitting to the crowd that he thinks he'll never make it in L.A., the audience watched a man refusing to give up on something he has already declared dead.

And what choice did he have? What happens after he drops the mic and heads into the crowd to deal with the people who just witnessed such a fantastic failure? And what does he say to the friends he just threw under the bus? I didn't stick around to find out. As I headed to the door, I heard Kronberg turn colder, sarcastically wishing everyone headed out to the bars, “Go on, have another night at the bar just like the last one. Go on everyone, go have a rerun.”

I haven't seen Ben Kronberg be funny in months. His act, the thing that brought him notoriety, has devolved into a self-indulgent and self-destructive display of his own insecurities. When he takes the stage these days, he dares people to stick around. I hope he makes it out in L.A., and I hope he finds his voice again. But at this point, I'd rather stay home and watch another episode of M.A.S.H.
-- Sean Cronin

6 Comments:

hector says:

yikes! nice to see people calling them as they see them, tho.

Dear Sean,

Thank you for making your article sweet in the front and sour in the back. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I am glad you were there to witness the "train wreck" as my only intention was for you to write 10 paragraphs about it. For if i had dropped the "mad science" like you know i can, it probably would have just been one sentence. ironic and poetic. Especially since me not doing my job empowered you to do yours - i think a "thank you" is in order.

That said, I found your blurb endearing and flattering for the obvious reasons - and i'm sure your buddy adam appreciates it too as he expressed to me via voice male that he felt like i "punched" him in the face. We have since made up, but as it has affected you so much - i can only imagine what he has gone through.

You see, I learned my self-indulgence and rambling, coincidentally enough, from reading the westword, or trying to read it, that is. You guys should be called The WestWordy. Heres a word that you guys are probably not familiar with: pithy - google it - it will gain you some readers. Also, you guys have the uncanny ability to take an interesting idea a make it, well, not interesting at all- (i am at a loss for a punchy analogy - for the westword has exploited every one beyond recognition). And I would site one of your stories in my response, but until now, i just thought you sold ad space for them. My bad.

I hope you have a happy new year and thank you? for wishing me well in L.A. If things don't go as planned maybe i can murder me up some bitches and kill myself - maybe by then you will be working for E! and you can head up my postmortem hollywood story.

Queers,

Ben

Julie says:

Fk you. Denver loves ben, we hate you.
team ben.

johnny morehouse says:

Ohhhh Cronin, why do you have to be such a spoil-sport.
I mean, come on. If you have in fact attended as many stagings of Kronberg as you allude to then you would know damn well that Ben likes to do comedy a bit different than the next guy. That is, in part, why he has accumulated so much interest and why an agent from L.A. scooped him up.
While I would love to play pugilist to your statement that "Ben hasn't been funny in months" (seriously dude, tell me when you've seen him in the last few months, because I have seen him a bunch of times, and the chuckle count has always been high), I will not.
Instead, I will re-direct you to the Thursday night in question, and to group comedy shows in general. A quick bottom line would be this: Not every comic is funny all the time. Not Kronberg, not Josh Blue, and not even your buddy Adam Cayton-Holland. As far as Thursday's Los Comicos....
No offense to the always enjoyable Adam, the prolific Jim Hickox, or the 3-beer-a-set Ben Roy, but the only real highlights of that evening came from Greg Baumhauer, who had a particularly loose yet dialed in set of new jokes and fan favorites; and from Tig, with her cautious yet genuinely curious sequence of stories and "of-the-moment" one-liners.
And, as always, the short movies were brilliant. A collaborative effort, but usually edited and delivered by Hickox, the shorts act as comedic oasis to the structured stand-up setting. You might have filled your digi-space talking about the good stuff, instead of spilling so many unnecessary words about Kronberg.
Just out of curiousity, Sean, did you happen to catch the last Los Comicos? Because if you did, you would have witnessed a far more annoying and disappointing couple of sets. After some technical difficulties, Adam took the stage and stumbled through set-up after set-up, while Jim played with a computer and mocked his fellow comrade. The Stephen Hawking-esque voice sporatically spewed from the speakers as Adam tried to get things going. He got so mad that he started throwing out threats and fat jokes aimed at Jim (didn't you mention something about throwing friends under a bus in your blog?).
And then Ben Roy took the satge for the closing set. Holding two un-opened PBR's (one and a half of which would be consumed, the other half spilled out on the table) Roy started his set by telling everyone that he was so drunk that he wouldn't be telling any funny jokes, and that he certainly wouldn't be telling any new ones either. I still laughed at his set, but I couldn't help but wonder when he was going to violently throw-up on the front row.
Actually I laughed through each of the mentioned sets (I was particularly tickled when Jim would wait a minute or two into one of Adam's jokes and then hit him with a computer-voiced "I like cock").
But even as I laughed out loud, many others did not. Some people did not like it. Some people hated it. Some people felt disrupted and uncomfortable. Audible concerns like: "Is this supposed to be how it goes?" or "Is this really his usual set?" or "That's actually not funny at all" started creeping up in the back of the room, while many of us wondered when we could turn up the lights and finally go to the Meadowlark for the after show. Sound familiar Sean?
Point is, we didn't turn up the lights. We didn't unplug the mic. Instead, we hung in there and chalked it up to the unusual and brilliant blend of stand-up, skits, videos, and mishaps that we like to call Los Comicos--the best $5, once-a-month show in Denver.
So, instead of whining about how one of our own has let us down, we should acknowledge and rejoice in the great, big, fat, giant swimming pool of comedic talent that these players--yes, Ben Kronberg included--have created and nurished throughout the last couple years.
If you look close enough Cronin, you will see that Denver is finally on the map for something. That something is a unique blend of varying comedy. And your choosing to write a 10-paragragh blog about how poorly one of our player/pioneers performed is.... well...disappointing.

Dick Black says:

Kronberg is wristdeep!He's the Man! Where would wristdeep be without Kronberg,I dont know but he is the glue that keeps wristdeep together!DB

Ben Roy says:

I'm wicked funny.

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