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25 Gaming Euphemisms for the Death of Gary Gygax

Wed Mar 05, 2008 at 09:58:06 AM

gygax.jpg

Gary Gygax wasn't the father of Dungeons and Dragons. He was the weird uncle that lived in the basement, painted lead miniatures, and could expound on the twelve different types of polearm weapons. So it's understandable that gamers might have trouble talking about it openly. Instead, here are some ways to refer to Gygax's untimely passing…you know, without really saying it:

When referring to Gygax's death, you can say he:

1) Started a new character sheet.
2) Is looking for a ninth-level cleric.
3) Failed his save vs. death magic.
4) Is food for purple worms.
5) Immediately became an NPC.
6) Finished the Doritos.
7) Has gone pips up.
8) Is pushing up shriekers.
9) Cashed in his gold pieces.
10) Took the first step to lichdom.
11) Went ethereal.
12) Kicked on the end of a spear.
13) Didn't make his system shock roll.
14) Bought the farm in Hommlet.
15) Is taking a dice nap.
16) Has gone to meet Zagyg.
17) Rolled his last natural 20.
18) Went against the giants.
19) Joined the gaming table invisible.
20) Is sleeping with the sahuagin.
21) Drew the Void.
22) Ended the campaign.
23) Kicked the dice bag.
24) Retired Mordenkainen.
25) Got screwed by the DM.

--Teague Bohlen

57 Comments:

Raistlin Majere says:

His mind should be placed in a warforged

Amish Joe says:

He will be critically missed

Anonymous says:

Beautiful!

kingkong says:

The kind of the nerds... bye bye

Atari says:

Game over.

Narissa says:

Does this mean we have to go to the inn and get a new party member?

DeCastries says:

Gary Gygax will be missed, cryrogenics are sounding good for his head that way when heads are in bowls like futurama he can give more advice to all of us nerds.

Kunochan says:

He hit -10 HP.

Anonymous says:

He's rolling in his grave

Behold, the last critical fail.

Gabe says:

Think of it more positively -- Gary rolled a natural 20.

Yasherka says:

God rolled a critical

Jim says:

kingkong says:

The kind of the nerds... bye bye

Sorry sucker...reroll.

Rindred says:

Maybe he ran out of action dice to bump his roll.

ATX says:

It's level 11 unless things have changed, raise dead is a level 5 cleric spell. I think a level 9 cleric with a high enough UMD could use a raise scroll though, maybe that's what you mean.

coyo7e says:

Please join me in 1d6 moments of silence.

farker says:

PWNED!

Greg says:

He is up there rockin with Tolkin and Lewis

Chip says:

We will now observe 1d6 minutes of silence in Gary's honor.

Dave says:

Chips: That's a good one.

Shall we erect a giant polyhedral die in a quiet forest as a moment to this giant among dwarves?

At the very least, he qualifies for demi-god status in a reprint of Field Folio.

Brujj says:

Tolkien, Lewis, and don't forgot about Robert Jordan..

lets just say that he botched his will save.

Palooka says:

How could you forget "Rolling in his Grave"?

Todd says:

Gary,
"See you at Worlds Serpent Inn".

I met him twice once when I was 9 at the dungon in Lake Geneva (30 years ago). He was talking to the owner when I asked the owner if the chainmail game was any good. Gary said it was alright.

Good bye friend and thank you for the imaginations that you have openned.

Shelby says:

How could you forget "Rolling in his Grave"?

LMAO!

KorrMuraan says:

It's rumored he dropped epic loots.

Grayghost says:

The best part is I KNOW he would be the first to laugh his ass off at this list.

Vorpal Blade says:

The ultimate death of a gamer: His mom got him involved in after school sports.

keith says:

The DM has left the table.

Castimirr says:

We are pouring out 10d4 for him this weekend.

Shrike says:

He shouldn't have used Con as a dump stat!

Obsidian says:

His mind should be transferred to an ultimate weapon.

The Gygax Blade, +10 Bastard Sword. Blade is also intelligent (Int: 20, Wis: 20, Alignment Lawful Good). Also has the following powers, 4 times a day: resurrect dead, fireball, heal, death ray.

Can cast the following spell once a month: Godly Wish*.

*I'm not sure if this ever made it into the rulebooks, as it's been nearly a decade since I've played, but it was always a house rule with my group that a level 25 mage could cast "Godly Wish", which was essentially a Wish spell without the limitations of the original Wish spell - extremely powerful, and could make or break a character/enemy, and could possibly change the entire storyline of a game - any wish asked for would be granted. Warning: be wary of devious DMs.

Anon says:

I miss him... mainly 'cuz my THAC0 is pretty poor.

D20 Master says:

He must have play tested 4th Ed.

WeyrleaderZor says:

In the words of Blues Traveler in "Ivory Tusks" :

"We rally to charge, to die; and to laugh when it's through."

Every gamer owes him a huge thank you and a nod a respect - and maybe every gamer should sit his or her best d20 aside at your next gaming session; let that best & most favored die belong to him for the evening.
Let's face it, before Gary & company put a little game that would become a cultural phenomenon unlike anything ever seen before, and to some degree since. He didn't make us popular, or make us fit in with the general mass population of our schools and neighborhoods. He didn't empower us to do great things to earn our way into those groups...
What he gave us was exactly what people like us wanted, needed. A way to come together and hang out with others that enjoyed the same thing. Without realizing what it become and the far-reaching consequences of that first humble offering to the world, he gave us a place to belong and a way to identify ourselves and to be proud of what we were and what we liked and did.
In doing so, we became a sub-culture all our own and now we've got sub-cultures of our sub-cultures. What always blew my mind was his "me talking to you" approach to meeting with and talking to gamers/fans, who he on several occasions & forum posts would simply called "friend(s)." We were gamers, and that was good enough for him.
That has permeated, to no small degree, to the very core of what it means to be a gamer today (as a "title" or "classification" - remember, we're not "outsiders" and "oddballs" anymore, and "geek" is now suddenly very "chic"). At conventions you see a lot more of what Oprah is always talking about with her "random acts of kindness" going on. People stop and help others pick stuff they dropped up, or to keep them from dropping it in the first place, squeezing almost painfully into the elevator ONE MORE gamer and his book bag when everyone in it is already as cramped as an entire horde of goblins and orcs stuffed into a bag of holding.
The little things, the way we just are what we are because the means for us to come together and be what we are all together was given to us. Let's face, it changed the mindset of society world-wide. And in the face of all this, he remained simply "Gary." He didn't want to be called "Mr. Gygax" or be worshiped with useless but flashy titles... He just wanted to sit down at a table with fellow geeks and gamers, his friends - his family - and just enjoy one hell of an adventure together!
My best "20" for Gary! You'll be missed, friend.

jrob says:

I found out "after the fact" that I met Gary.

We were sitting in a cafe at a con in Atlanta 4D6+1 years ago playing Paranoia (kinda a sf anti-rpg). The way we were playing it was to ignore rolling dice; the most outlandish, rediculous action was the one that "rolled a save". A man sat down at our table, watched for a few minutes, and asked to join us.

This guy was NUTS!!! Our group was known for throwing our DM curve balls, but this guy...

Well, to make a long story short, our party was trapped in a room and Gary converted our Funbot into a booby trap and laid it down in the doorway to catch the NPCs. Our DM had the most evil grin you've ever seen when Gary slipped him a note reminding him our Funbot ran on atomic power, and we were in a room only 10' by 10'.

Only after the game broke up did Gary mention his last name; Gygax, of course.

Mike A. says:

Maybe God wanted to make some new worlds/universes and knew Gary would be the ideal guy to head up that job of imagining them. Just think of all of the magical place other people will be enjoying thanks to his creativity. Wouldn't it be great to reincarnate into one of those worlds?

He will be missed on this world, though.

Hey, maybe in my next life I can come back as an Elven Wizard? Knowing my luck I'll probably come back a an NPC. A human miner, a slave or worse...

...an accountant.

Nah, I think I prefer "playing" in one of Gary's worlds and "living" in this one. :-)

Anonymous says:

ATX says:

It's level 11 unless things have changed, raise dead is a level 5 cleric spell. I think a level 9 cleric with a high enough UMD could use a raise scroll though, maybe that's what you mean.


Actually, in 2e (the edition Gygax actually had a hand in) 9th level was high enough to cast 5th level spells.

TRW says:

9th level clerics have always been able to cast 5th level spells.

Tony M. says:

Had a natural 00 rolled against him.
RIP.

Those euphemisms are great. I think he would find them humorous as well.

All peace to you Gary.

Dan S. says:

Ran Tomb of Horrors one too many times.

witchy says:

I haven't anything clever to add, but if not for Gary's imagination fueling my own, I'd have been stuck as a damned cheerleader.
Namaste, kind sir.

gill says:

Can't believe nobody came up with "finally ran out of hit points", or is that from some other RPG? Not being a D&D nerd I'ze just wondering...

grillfocks says:

Nah, he's just adventuring in the outer planes at the moment. The problem is, he probably used a random rolling table to determine which one he wanted to visit first.

gamer says:

Alas, unfortunately, Gary is beyond the help of a cleric at all. None of the resurrection spells work if you die of old age.

Time for a new character sheet...

James says:

[i]gamer says:
Alas, unfortunately, Gary is beyond the help of a cleric at all. None of the resurrection spells work if you die of old age.[/i]

Actually that is up to Kelemvore...

Anonymous says:

Amish Joe- "He will be critically missed"

FTW!

KenB says:

Gary will have his 77 virgins waiting in Paradise.

They'll all have characters rolled up and are waiting for him to start the game!

Chad says:

So umm...has anyone looted the corpse or gone through his pockets for sweet l3wts?

H-man says:

Please Gary I promise i will never cheat again....just make this role a crit!

Karat says:

Ran out of hit points.

Lizzums says:

If he rolled a 00, that means it's DM's choice what he's rezzed as. Therefore, we should all be on the lookout for him. He could be any race in the next life. No more being wary of garden lizards - it could be Gary as a baby kobold.

Dan Madden says:

#26. Questioned the gazebo

P.A. says:

Went against the giants.

That he did. R.I.P.

hellcatlisa says:

Dan--"Ran Tomb of Horrors one too many times."

BWAH! Absolutely. RIP Mr. G.

Yes Grayghost, he would def be LHAO.

And I second the request for demigod status.

Patrick says:

In part Gary Gygax made me who I am.

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