Well, hot damn, Colorado Division of Wildlife, look at you stepping up your high-tech game! Go on with your bad self!

Currently up on CDOW’s website at www.wildlife.state.co.us/NewsMedia/Videos is a new video series entitled, “a.m. Colorado.” The videos, which were all filmed in high-definition and recorded in digital audio, look fantastic and capture some of this state’s most unique early-morning wildlife displays -- the kind that most average Joes miss while they’re sleeping it off.

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The Broncos are expected to release Pro Bowl safety John Lynch this week (he's expected to make an announcement later today, July 31), and that worries me, not because I think it’s a bad move (Lynch, though a leader, was overrated when he got here four years ago and is even more overrated now), but because of jersey sales.

Yeah, jersey sales.

Lynch’s number 47 was one of a handful of Broncos replica jerseys you could find hanging in every Sports Authority or other sports-themed store next to those of quarterback Jay Cutler, running back Travis Henry, cornerback Champ Bailey, and wide receivers Javon Walker, Brandon Marshall and Rod Smith.

But Henry, Walker, Smith and now Lynch are all gone, which leaves fans with few choices (you can still find Jake Plummer jerseys for sale, by the way).

Which jerseys is the team going to hawk now?

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Really? Why, that's fascinating!

This week, Westword explores the strange odyssey of Timothy Thomason, a cancer patient who went to the downtown Denver jail in 2006 for what amounted to an expired medical marijuana permit, had his life-sustaining pain medication confiscated — and was detained for mysterious reasons after a judge ordered him released.

When Westword sought some answers from city officials about the jail's policy on pain meds and its release procedures, we had no idea we were stepping into a hush-hush area of deep-bunkered security concerns on par with Guantanamo. Instead of the requested interviews with top brass, we were sent excerpts of the jail policy manual — some of the same heavily redacted excerpts handed over to the ACLU in response to a lawsuit.

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Way too late for this summer's Mojave-esque heat-wave, Baskin-Robbins has announced plans to bring its 31 flavors to 60 new locations in the Denver area. It’s big news, considering that of the company’s 6,000 ice cream shops worldwide, only 13 are on the Front Range. But if you're flush with cash and think opening a B-R in your basement would make a fun hobby, think again: New franchisees must commit to opening not one, not two, but at least three stores.

There’s no shortage of franchising opportunities in Denver, and – as I learned while writing about franchisee grievances against Quiznos – franchising is a risky play. But, just like the dozens of people who contacted me after losing their retirement savings and homes to franchise purchases gone bad, there are plenty of people in town who run successful franchises. Often, those are the franchisees who own multiple stores. That’s what makes Baskin-Robbins' three-store minimum so intriguing.

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Chappelle's Show veteran and all-around funny guy Bill Burr is stopping at Comedy Works this weekend. We caught up with Burr just after the recent earthquake in Los Angeles.

Westword (Amber Taufen): How are you?

Bill Burr: Well, I just got back from vacation, and we just had a nice earthquake here in L.A., which is the usual. You just sort of sit there, and for a second and a half you think it’s a dump truck, then you think, "Is this the big one?" and then it’s over.

WW: Where did you go on vacation?

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The first act of The Hot L Baltimore ends in a chaotic and hilarious babble, with almost all of the characters talking at once and Suzy, the hooker, dropping a towel to reveal that she’s naked. The young boy, Jamie, is so startled by this that he drops the box he’s carrying down the stairs.

Many years ago, I played Jackie in a production at Boulder’s Nomad Theatre, and I remember that after a lot of discussion, and some negotiation, the actress playing Suzie agreed to appear topless in this scene -- though for only a few seconds before the lights went off. This seemed to me a somewhat mealy-mouthed compromise, but I noted with amusement that in Terry Dodd’s very fine production, currently being staged in the lobby of the Barth Hotel (see my review here), Suzy never strips at all. She’s clad in undergarments as substantial as any 1950s swimsuit.

“Times change,” Dodd observed, when I asked him about this.

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Mark Paschall, Jeffco's finest.

Former Jefferson County Treasurer Mark Paschall's second trial for allegedly soliciting a kickback from an aide's $18,000 bonus is underway out at the Taj Mahal. (The first one, back in February, ended in an acquittal on one charge and a hung jury on the other.) Although it’s only expected to last another day or two, it's an eye-opening lesson in the snakepit of Jeffco politics.

Iron-gripped gadfly Mike Zinna had sought permission to video the testimony for his website but was turned down by Judge Randall C. Arp. After all, what kind of public interest could there be in a corruption trial involving formerly high-ranking county officials?

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Cruise to Demver, Westword's DNC blog, to see Adam Cayton-Holland's guide to surviving the Democratic National Convention. There's a boot, there's beer in a boot, and there's a dude in cut-off jean shorts. So there's pretty much something for everyone.

An old high school is the now the center of CSU's art world.

Just a block or so east of the Colorado State University campus (1400 Remington Street) is the stately old Fort Collins High School, a red-brick, Georgian revival-style building constructed in the 1920s. As you can see from the picture, it would look more at home in Philadelphia or Boston than in the northern-Colorado college town.

Over a decade ago, a new high school was built. Then, just a few years ago, the old building was purchased by CSU to house the soon-to-open University Art Center, which will be unveiled in stages during the 2008/2009 academic year. The UAC can be accessed from the CSU campus via the College Avenue underpass, and then through the Annual Trial Gardens.

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A new musical -- aptly titled Iraq War, the Musical! -- attempts to make sense of the nonsense our current administration is spouting. We caught up with director Paul Cross to ask him about his singing, dancing extravaganza.

Westword (Amber Taufen): How did you come up with the idea for this production?

Paul Cross: I was in L.A. in 2003, and I really wanted to do it there, but I was contemplating moving back to Denver. And three years later I moved back and I wanted to do it here, I just thought it was a better audience with the state being so split. My goal at that time was to help make Colorado a blue state. And then, once I heard about the Democratic National Convention later on, I’ve been writing little bits and pieces of it and was like, well, now I have to do this. I moved to california for a job and I moved back and, now I’m here. I gotta do this.

WW: Can you tell me a little about the plot?

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Oh, meaty joy! After a year and a half of searching for its first central Denver location, Tony’s Market has finally sealed the deal on the former Planned Parenthood office building, 950 Broadway, right across the street from Westword.

The 53-year-old building (formerly a car dealership) was the frequent scene of anti-abortion protesters, who liked to gather there despite the fact that it was just office space. Planned Parenthood sold the building to Denver-based Hyder Construction in April and moved into its new Stapleton facility earlier this month.

And although we’ll miss watching the protesters from our newsroom windows, we are more than thrilled with the Tony’s announcement, especially since the repeat Westword Best Of Denver award winner plans to open a bistro in the new spot with indoor and outdoors seating and serve a full menu along with beer and wine, says head chef and marketing manager Mick Rosacci (son of company founder Tony Rosacci).

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The Great Clown's Inn, which Jon Solomon visited a few days before it closed, isn't the only Alameda alcohol institution to shut down.

The Valverde Yacht Club, which never had any yachts but was within spitting distance of the South Platte from its perch at 1101 West Alameda, is boarded up, the motel outfront slated for redevelopment. Fans of dive bars had dubbed Valverde "Denver's only yacht club," and now it's pulled up anchor. No word on what happened to the nautical knick-knacks that used to grace the interior. -- Patricia Calhoun

As we told you Monday, there's rampant idling going on at Denver International Airport’s 45 Minute Waiting Area, and the folks in DIA’s environmental-services division are waiting to take action – in the form of signs reminding idlers that their irresponsibility uses more gas, harms their vehicles, and, of course, rapes our air.

But the airport's not the only place trying to choke out the earth-battering bastards among us.

According to Denver Department of Environmental Health (DEH), Engines Off, the city's yearlong anti-idling campaign, is setting its sights on diesel buses, trucks and transport vehicles straight chillin’ at the Colorado Convention Center; motor coach, limo, taxi and shuttle companies making the trek to and from DIA for the Democratic National Convention; parents and daycare providers who show up early to schools every afternoon so they can get the wicked-sweet spots while waiting for kids; and “puffers,” people who leave unattended vehicles idling during cold weather.

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Like retracing Steinbeck's steps through Salinas, James Anthofer makes like the Rocky's James Meadows and pisses in a fountain.

James Meadow’s hard-hitting “Civic Center Blues” features in the Rocky Mountain News haven’t shied away from the tough issues: Skateboarders. Half-naked women in the seal pond. Secret messages on the walls. And now, poop.

We'd hoped it was just a three- or four-part series, something quick to highlight areas to clean up in the park. But it's now on its eighth day. It just won't stop. It's like the Widespread Panic song of crappy newspaper series.

Monday’s story, “Got The Urge to Purge?” is the latest example of Rocky publisher John Temple's obsession with Civic Center Park, and the latest indicator that the chamber in Meadow’s sawed-off shotgun of irrelevancy is indeed empty. In a 750-word story that felt like 1,400, he tackled public restrooms in City Park:

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David Maraniss, who speaks at the LoDo Tattered Cover on Thursday, July 31 (click here to learn more), is a staffer and Pulitzer Prize winner who’s penned some acclaimed political books, including First In His Class: A Biography of Bill Clinton. But in recent years, he’s also established his reputation as an excellent writer of sports tomes – among them, When Pride Still Mattered: A Life of Vince Lombardi and Clemente: The Passion and Grace of Baseball’s Last Hero. In his new offering, Rome 1960, he combines these passions, examining the summer Olympics that took place on the fields of the Eternal City nearly half a century ago from an athletic perspective even as he puts the events into the context of historical developments before and after. He explains how in the extended Q&A below.

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