From Coors Field to Hell, Glory the Beanie Baby Bear Returns

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It was just ten short years ago that Beanie Babies were all the rage, Coors Field was only three years old, torture was something that other countries did, and the Internets, well they were still just the World Wide Web.

All four of these things came together in perfect harmony, however, shortly after Coors Field hosted the 1998 All-Star Game, and every fan in attendance got a red, white and blue Glory Bear Beanie Baby. To mock the Beanie craze – people were paying hundreds of dollars for Glory Bears after the game; now they are worth about a buck – Westword embarked on one of its first-ever online projects on its nascent website by burning, dismembering, torturing and otherwise going all Dick Cheney on our own Glory.

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“Gory Glory” shocked some readers and delighted others (for more links, see below).

But now, as New York City prepares for the 2008 All-Star Game, and torture has become a way of life, we feel it’s finally time to reveal that Glory was rescued from his horrible treatment by guilt-ridden Westword employees who agreed to foot the bill for the numerous surgeries and other experimental treatments that Glory needed.

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We can now report that Glory is living in seclusion in a secret location, where he is pampered with good food and daily massages. And while we thought that our original story, photos and video of Glory’s harrowing travails had been lost in cyberspace, we recently stumbled across that material, here and here, as well as the pictured photos that show Glory living in luxury.

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We’re sharing them because those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it. And no one would ever want to resurrect the Beanie Baby fad. -- Jonathan Shikes



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