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For World Sci Fi Convention, Strip Club Goes Where No Club Has Gone Before

Fri Aug 08, 2008 at 10:34:04 AM
shotgun2.jpg
In other words: "Hey geeks! Come see some human boobies!"

In Latest Word's continuing team coverage of the second-biggest gathering of geeks in Denver this month – have you seen the goofy hats DNCers will wear? – I dispatched myself last night to Shotgun Willie's, the venerable club of strip on Colorado. Earlier in the week, I'd noticed that the club's marquee was advertising a Sci Fi Strip Off, in honor of this week's World Science Fiction Convention. I called the club, and they promised that an army of sci-fi geeks would be invading the space of space-garbed strippers. It was a culture collision unseen since the Flinstones met the Jetsons.

I somehow talked the club into letting me take pictures. So: If you happen to be the somewhat neglectful father of a rail-thin 19-year-old from Aurora, and you suspect your daughter has been looking for ways to act out, you might want to click away. Otherwise, by all means, enjoy the show.

shotgun3.jpg

But I must admit: It wasn't much of a show, at least from a geek-hunting journalist's* perspective. The club was packed, pulsing with a slightly more techno-y vibe in honor of the promised nerds. But as I cruised the club searching for conventioneers, I realized: all men look like geeky sci-fi writers when they're hunched over a railing, slack-jawed and chucking crumpled dollars at naked women. I asked around, and no one would cop to being from the convention. One guy was wearing a Star Trek shirt, but I never got to talk to him. He was ... occupied.

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The wings didn't last long. Nor did the top.

The Sci Fi Strip Off started around 10, but if anyone was joyfully awaiting the appearance of a Seven of Nine look-a-like, his fate would once again disappoint him. While the amateur dancers were provided with some small sci-fi accessories –- alien masks, toy laser guns, etc. -- they either ignored them totally or ditched them as soon as the music started. Which left us with plain old amateur strippers. Which is not as hot as you might think.

There was one potential saving grace. As he introduced the stripper hopefuls, club manager Matt, apparently a total geek, attempted to grill the girls about all things sci-fi. But whatever potential hotness he was trying to capture – sexual fantasies about cyborgs, dreams of stripping in a weightless environment – quickly evaporated into the club's thin, thin air.

shotgun4.jpg
So, have you ever done it in a teleporter?

For instance: On her amateur-dancer questionnaire, Stripper No. 1 had informed the club that she would totally sleep with Princess Leia. Hot, right? Yes. But then Matt, somehow smelling a fake through the patchouli, ruined the moment by asking a follow-up.

“What movie was Princess Leia in?”

(Awkward silence.)

(Awkward silence.)

Star Trek?”

Way to go, Matt. Who are you, Mike Wallace?

The embarrassment only continued from there, as stripper after stripper botched the chance to earn a $100 tip from the Star Trek-shirt guy.

Do you know who Captain Kirk is?

“Sort of.”

What sci-fi character would you sleep with?

“Spiderman.”

Do you have sex on the first date?

“Sometimes.”

It was this last answer -– Sometimes? You're trying out to be a stripper! -- that reminded me that, yes, this was an amateur contest. And it left me with one important piece of advice for Shotgun Willie's: In a couple of weeks, when you host a strip-off for the Democratic National Convention, and your club is filled with Bill Clinton, do yourself a favor. Bring out the pros.

And don't forget the blue dress. -- Joe Tone

*A stretch, yes.

9 Comments:

Anti-Human Trafficker says:

Joe's "story" about the Si-Fi strip-off is disgusting, and his advice for Willie's owners to "bring out the pros" for the DNC is especially vile.

Women and girls will be trafficked into Colorado for the DNC, to "service" individuals here for the DNC. Law enforcement officials will do what they can, but they will be busy with other issues during the DNC, and the CRIMINAL SEXUAL EXPLOITATION of women and CHILDREN will have a chance to flourish in Denver.

To read Joe's "story", and "advice" turns my stomach. He normalizes the attitude that women and GIRLS at Willie's can be thought of as nothing more than commodified goods that can be bought and sold, and he encourages the practice during the DNC.

He should be ashamed of himself.

Joe says:

AHT --

Sex trafficking may well flourish during the DNC --- law enforcement agencies already are ill-equipped and under-trained at tracking such crimes, and lord knows politicians are horny. But I suspect Shotgun Willie's isn't part of that specific problem. Strip clubs of that size generally have a pretty steady police presence, and the clubs don't need to coerce underage women to perform. In fact, they have of-age women knocking down their doors to get naked, as last night's show proved.

Whether that's good or bad for the women and the customers they entertain is for someone smarter to determine. But it's not trafficking, and it's certainly not criminal.

Thanks for reading --

Joe

Anti-Human Trafficker says:

Whether or not clubs like Shot Gun Willie's have a police presence or not, you can not deny that there is demand for the sex industry. And if there is a demand, there are individuals who will negotiate the growth of that industry, and make lots of money off of women, men, boys and girls--regardless of what laws are in place, or what age a woman or man is who is being exploited.

Demand for the Denver sex industry will increase, as you allude to (and encourage?) in your posting, when the DNC hits town. Clubs like Willie's normalizes the commodification of human beings, regardless if they are a day over 17, or much, much older.

Once that normalization occurs, it's easier for individuals to participate in different levels of the sex industry, where lines between what's legal and what's not becomes blurrier.

Strip Clubs lie on the continuum of sexual exploitation, however severe you choose to label them, and there is a absolute connection between the business of dancing and other, illegal acts of sexual exploitation, like the criminal sexual exploitation of children.

Just Passing Through says:

There's an 'absolute connection' between dancing and exploitation of children? Which study is that from?

Cory Casciato says:

you can not deny that there is demand for the sex industry. And if there is a demand, there are individuals who will negotiate the growth of that industry, and make lots of money

Yes. And there will be a demand for the sex industry until a) when every person gets as much sex, of exactly the "right" type for them as they want, without restriction, for free or b) until demand for sex ends.

In other words, until a) never or b) never (or b2, until the human race becomes transhuman and doesn't want/need sex any longer).

That being the case, maybe a well-regulated sex industry that curbs the worst excesses (i.e. child exploitation, human trafficking, forced sexual servitude via threat of harm or economic coercion) is preferable to burying one's head in the sand?

Nah, jail the strip club owners, prostitutes and johns, pornographers, pron stars, peep-show girls and the sad, lonely men that feed them dollars. That'll work, unlike every other attempted prohibition of something that is inherently in demand. Just because the war on drugs and alcohol prohibition were such spectacular, unbelievable failures that made the problems they aimed to correct much, much worse is no reason to think that the sex industry would suffer the same fate...

Noneyer Bidness says:

My personal experience with strippers is a bit old (I had housemates who worked behind the bar that combination strip club/gay bar references in Allison Bechdel's FUN HOME), so things might have changed but they all seemed OK with doing what they were doing.

If I were a sex worker, I think I'd be pissed off to think that my livlihood was degrading and exploitative. Personally, I'm of the opinion that anything a woman chooses to do, even sex work, is her business and not ours.

As a side note: my ex was a science fiction writer, and I can tell you that, given the choice to go to a strip club, or stay at the convention with the hope he might get a crack at an SF groupie, he'd go with the latter. Wouldn't you?

Lolz says:

Hey Joe! Thanks for the article. Funny stuff. I'm reminded of the "America's most smartest model" competition.

I've never understood why people think prostitutes and strippers (same thing, right? o.0) are exploited by the very nature of their work. They are indeed more vulnerable to exploitation because their work is illegal, but stripping and having sex for money aren't intrinsically exploitive acts unless you think sex is somehow intrinsically holy or profane. Personally, I think it's something I'll only do with my sweetie, but - Gasp! Shock! - not all women feel that way, just as not all men feel that way. And hey, if they want to make some cash off possessing a cute body, you go girl. I'm just jealous I'm not good-looking enough to get the kudos too.

Personally, having been to a strip club and seen the rather bored or amused-looking girls on stage and the ... um.... blank-faced men below, I'm pretty sure it's not the girls who need saving. But I'm not gonna throw myself into the rift to save those sad slackers chucking away their dollars; sorry.

Muchos Gracias, and have a good day!

Tony says:

You strip club aficionados may want to read "Caribbean Dreams: true Story of an Ivy League Couple who Bought a STRIP CLUB in the Caribbean" www.caribbeanstripclub.com

I got a good laugh out of this story during Denvention. Thanks for doing such exhaustive, undercover research. ;->

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