Freedom fighters rejoice: SkyNet MIA at DNC

Categories: News
Terminator.jpg
SkyNet may or may not be back.

Those fearing the coming apocalypse were surely not happy when Denver officials unveiled SkyNet, a giant LED screen strapped to the side of the Colorado Convention Center that would broadcast videos during the Democratic National Convention -- and that, for some reason, shared the name of the the scary computer system that takes over Earth and spews out Arnold Schwarzenegger robots in the Terminator movies. Thankfully, Sarah Conner wannabes had nothing to worry about: By the time the DNC was underway, SkyNet had mysteriously been taken down.

Why the change of plans? Did convention organizers realize that SkyNet’s potential for worldwide holocaust was too great? Had SkyNet somehow gotten loose, transforming into a mechanized deathbot spewing cheesy video ads and wanton destruction wherever it roamed? No word yet on the truth; repeated phone calls to ADTI Media Incorporated, the Centennial company behind SkyNet, yielded only evasive responses – though one particular call last Friday afternoon hinted that something may be afoot.

“Uh, I am not authorized to discuss such matters,” said the company representative who answered the phone, clearly regretting that he’d done so. “I imagine next week we will be close to that.” Then he added with a nervous laugh, “But SkyNet is great! SkyNet is awesome!”

It almost seemed like someone was forcing him to exclaim such platitudes – or maybe something! Looks like it’s time to break out that end-of-the-world weapons stockpile… -- Joel Warner

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