Shiny happy repo kids holding hands

"Being tossed into the street is keen!"

No real good can come out of the economy violently puking its intestines out and then dying in a broken heap in the gutter, unless, of course, you’re an opportunistic vulture of a real estate company. Enter the McCoy Repo Home Bus Tours, which offer one-stop shopping for buyers and investors interested in homes priced from $200,000-$500,000. Tours are free if you register at www.McCoyRepoHomeTours.com or call their hotline at 303-757-2277, with the next one taking in the bombed-out mortgages of scenic Highlands Ranch and glorious Littleton this Saturday. How do I know this? From McCoy’s amazing advertisement in a recent Sunday paper. At first glance, the ad appears innocuous, but check out the kids in the corner, smiling and frolicking in the grass with their beloved golden retriever. In the front lawn of their house that has been repossessed.

"Just because we can’t live here anymore, doesn’t mean you can’t!" the ad insinuates. "Come on in and look at the crime scene where our father was raped by the economy! Lord knows we’re never going to see it again. Tee-hee!"

McCoy’s ad is definitely worthy of inclusion in the "Headlines" segment on Jay Leno, and if I liked Jay Leno even a little bit I would have clipped this half-page and sent it to him, waiting up all night like an inbred hick to see if my clippings done made the boob tube. As it stands, I loathe the Burbank Chin, so I suppose I’ll just share it with Westword's online audience and we can laugh ourselves sick thinking about when these children’s smiles begin to fade after day three and they're forced to eat their pooch.

Click "More" to see the ad. Happy New Great Depression, everyone! Tee-hee! -- Adam Cayton-Holland