Sorry, really wrong number

Ringy-dingy.

Several times a day, I'll answer my direct line at the office, only to be told that the nonexistent warrantee on my vehicle is about to expire and I should press "1" if I want to extend it.

At least once a day, I'll answer my direct line at the office and learn that I can get a $750 alarm system for free if I just let the company put a sign in my yard, and that I should press "1" if I want to accept. I might do it if I thought the alarm could warn me about those warrantee calls.

And one day last week, I answered my direct line at the office and heard: "We're calling about your credit cards, and if you want a better rate, you should press '1.'" I did, and asked the man who answered what company he was with. "Consumer Credit for MasterCard and Visa," he responded.

"Can I get a number so that I can call you back?" I asked.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I work at a newspaper and I'd like to do a story about your service."

Click.

That answer could work better at warning off pests than any $750 alarm. -- Patricia Calhoun