Continental keeps crash passengers away from the booze

Categories: News

Continental.jpg
Continental Airlines probably should have known better.

After all, the airlines have long understood that pacification of terrified passengers in a time of crisis keeps a bad situation from getting worse. The purpose behind those oxygen masks that drop from the ceiling of the plane? Oxygen gets you high, making potential crash victims, in the words of Fight Club 's Tyler Durden, "calm as Hindu cows."

So why on earth did Continental spirit the shaken passengers of Flight (term used loosely) 1404 to their booze-serving Presidents Club Lounge in the DIA terminal and then keep them away from the booze?

According to Denver resident, Twitter aficionado and crash survivor Mike Wilson, as of 8:21 p.m. on December 20, Continental Airlines officials had taken passengers who weren't in immediate need of medical attention to "the presidents club until they can sort everything out. Won't even serve us drinks."

Bad form, Continental.

Wilson, who started the Twitter thread with the tweet, "Holy fucking shit I was just in a plane crash!," continued to vent his frustration with what is possibly the greatest tweet ever written: "You have your wits scared out of you, drag your butt out of a flaming ball of wreckage and you can't even get a vodka-tonic. Boo." -- Sean Cronin



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