Taco Bell's free taco deal goes from a hit to a brick

taco bell image.jpg

This past baseball season, I wrote "Taco Bell Giveaway a Dinger," yet another in a seemingly unending chain of hard-hitting, What's So Funny exposé pieces, which got all up in the guts of a Taco Bell promotion promising four tacos for a dollar from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. the day after your Colorado Rockies scored seven runs or more. In that two-hour span, I was able to hit up seven Taco Bell locations, netting 28 tacos in the process. And I was also able to learn several things:

1. You actually have to pay more than a dollar. With tax, the total comes to $1.08.

2. The deal was wildly popular. Nearly every Taco Bell I frequented, especially getting on towards 6 in the p.m., had lines snaking around the drive-through, as legions of fat Americans queued for their tacotunity.

3. The Taco Bell employees resented the hell out of the deal, as it turned their place of underpaid employment into an absolute mob scene. I had to figure that this bad attitude trickled down from corporate overlords. Because so many people were taking advantage of the offer, they were probably losing money.

Enter Nuggets season. And a shitty economy.

A new promotion now offers three tacos for a dollar the day after your Denver Nuggets score 103 points or more. Way to go, Taco Bell, you cheap, fake-meat-made-from-powder-peddling bastards. Because not only has the number of tacos been reduced to three this time around, but Taco Bell is also demanding that you purchase a drink with the deal as well, presumably so you can attach the straw to your feeding tube in order to better facilitate the wholesale inhalation of Dr. Pepper into your burgeoning carcass. Also, the deal now lasts from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. the following day. That cuts out the last hour of dinner rush, when people are no doubt on their way home from work and desperately need cheap tacos for their fat children in these economically chaotic times.

You call that a fucking deal, Taco Bell? You really think our memories are that short? We may be in the middle of a fiscal meltdown, but that doesn't mean we're blind. We sports fans/shitty food patrons can still see that you are no F.D.R, Taco Bell. For though your deal may be new, it is certainly no New Deal.

Obama, get on this injustice. -- Adam Cayton-Holland

My Voice Nation Help
89 comments
Joe S
Joe S

I don't know how you hit seven Taco Bells if the lines were so long, but this is a hilarious article.

Grammy0250
Grammy0250

I just want to know why when I went to get my four tacos for $1.00 I was told they were $2.00. This is at Taco Bell, on 8th Ave. in Greeley, Colorado. I saw on Taco Bell's web page that when the Rockies score 7 or more runs (which they did last night (the 22nd.of Aug.) Tacos are suppose to be 4 Tacis for $1.00! I argued with them but that's what they said so I HAD to pay $2.00 Hummmm Anyone else have that issue at any other Taco Bell?

Noone
Noone

U LOVE Taco Bell... Just Admit it Adam . Otherwise you wouldn't be worried about a f-in dollar!I hope your team loses just like you.

dabeast
dabeast

ur a douche, get alife, its called good marketing dumbass. and why is everyone else fat americans, i bet there not hitting up every taco bell they can like your lame ass. dont be a bitch...bitch.

lil E
lil E

The idiot who wrote this needs to shut his computer off and smoke a bowl.I would never go out of my way to wait in line for some nasty ass lettuce tacos.Who gives a shit about the workers anyway.They're probably some worthless wetbacks with 3 identities anyway.I had sum bomb ass tacos at the tamale kitchen on Sheridan.Oh yeah Mexico city on larimer has sum good shredded beef tacos for hella cheap too.

John Cunningham
John Cunningham

Im still getting four well suffed nice soft shell tacos on colfax across from the chevy dealer with only 100 points or more

Aarox
Aarox

Can't wait to never go to Denver... thanks for the heads up lame blogger.

meth_addict
meth_addict

<font face="Verdana" size="10"><color="deepskyblue">W00T 3 TACOS FOR A BUCK, WITH PURCHASE OF A DRINK!!!!</color="deepskyblue"></font>

Basisrente
Basisrente

WOW! After this article i got so hungry... I need a taco... NOW!

tam
tam

Tomorrow's the day. If only I had a Pinto.

alizee
alizee

Isn't Taco Bell owned by jews??

Steaven
Steaven

OH MY GOD! TACO BELL OFFERS A DEAL AND YOU HAVE TO BUY A DRINK! THOSE BASTARDS!!

Erik
Erik

wow people just don't get sarcasm anymore, le sigh...

Steven Frechette
Steven Frechette

Can't wait to never go to Denver... thanks for the heads up lame blogger..

FuckYou
FuckYou

Fuck You. Call a fucking wambulance.

robin
robin

wow people just don't get sarcasm anymore, le sigh..

sax
sax

How did your bitching make it to digg? this is pitiful...

Delicious Monster
Delicious Monster

May I touch your tacos?

Tales of the Taco Troubadour

The trouble with Tacos

Tale of the Taco Thief

Jerri Theil
Jerri Theil

THAT was just about the fuckin funniest thing I've ever read. Although I do find it interesting that the only two people in the world that I know that care about this kind of crap are you and my mother... Mr. Adam Clayton Holland (if that is your real name) I do want to point out a little error on your end. The picture at the top of your story is actually that of three Taco Supremes, not the taco offered in the promotional item ie. the crunchy seasoned beef taco. Please make a note of it.

steve
steve

Here in Portland we get a coupon for a free chalupa if the blazers score 100 or more. They are good for 2 years. Seems like a much better plan :)

King Awesome
King Awesome

this is the greatest day of my life. No better article has ever been written. I like pennies.

Bandwagon
Bandwagon

I just wanted to pop in and call you a douchebag, since everyone else did too.

Douchebag.

erichansa
erichansa

This guy just seems like a total *****, in my opinion.

Dan
Dan

I'm one of those taco bell lovers.I can eat taco bell food every day.emmmm tacos.

thanks from tony

Anonymous
Anonymous

I read the article that you linked. It sucked too. Sorry, buddy.

Yes Maam
Yes Maam

Due to the crappy economy, Taco Bells throughout the nation has had less sales so they made this 4 for a $1 taco deal to quickly profit from products about to expire

The Average White Guy
The Average White Guy

The whole thing is a scam... Just because Taco Bell calls it a "taco" doesn't mean it's a "taco". A baggie full of cigarette butts is more "taco" than Taco Bell's "taco".

Johnny2Bad
Johnny2Bad

" ... Cronski says:And they said Ralph Nader was the last angry man in America, and all he did was stop Chevy from selling exploding cars that killed people in horrible, fiery deaths. ..."

Wrongo, Cronski. Nader stopped Chevy from selling mid-engined real-wheel drive cars because they can spin differently on a curve than front engined cars.

Ralph killed the Chevy Corvair, a low-cost, sporty, fun to drive car that got excellent fuel consumption, with his book "Unsafe At Any Speed".

Meanwhile, the Porsche 911, a mid-engined, real wheel drive car which handles the same as the Corviar on curves, is a high-cost, sporty, fun to drive car that gets poor fuel consumption, is still for sale 30 years later because Ralph didn't get the Corvair banned, he just killed the sales so bad GM dropped it. They're highly collectable now.

Perhaps you were thinking of the Ford Motor Company, and their Pinto, an exploding car that killed people in horrible, fiery deaths.

Ralph sued Ford in a Class Action lawsuit and won. It was revealed in the suit that Ford knew of the problem, because it showed up in in-company crash tests. Ford had it's lawyers and accountants determine whether it was cheaper to pay the expected lawsuits or install a part on each car that would prevent the issue.

The suit also revealed Ford calculated it would cost the company just under $5 per vehicle. Guess what? It was cheaper to let people burn.

ntopics
ntopics

I'm one of those taco bell lovers.I can eat taco bell food every day.emmmm tacos.

thanks from tony

Mkraver
Mkraver

Taco bell doesn't have fake meat that you re-hydrate with water.

It IS actually packaged and kept in the cooler. not the freezer.

And you can expect the employees to be angry and hate the promotion. Taco bell is so damn cheap they only pay minimum. Employees have to pay for their food instead of getting it free.

Taco bell should be Boycotted especially since the only thing there that IS incredibly old is the Nacho chips. When you can see through the chip, that is a hell of a old chip.

Matt
Matt

My favorite part:

"...Taco Bell is also demanding that you purchase a drink with the deal as well, presumably so you can attach the straw to your feeding tube in order to better facilitate the wholesale inhalation of Dr. Pepper into your burgeoning carcass".

Hilarious.

Digg
Digg

There is no period in Dr Pepper

Hyphen
Hyphen

Wow, digg fuckers, you are truly the cream of the crop. Here's the thing, we're required to blog at westword.com. Blog I did, following a story I wrote about in my HUMOR column, wherin I purchased 28 tacos in a two hour period as part of a Rockies promotion. It made sense to follow the promotion in blog form. If your read the link to that column, you PhD level researchers, you would see that I ate one, and placed the rest on the keyboards of my co-workers to find in the morning. I weigh 158 lbs. And I'm fucking handsome. Digg that shit.

wiggins
wiggins

wow people just don't get sarcasm anymore, le sigh.

YoMomasFatVagina
YoMomasFatVagina

Not as fat as your American Mom's vagina, Steve. Not as fat as your American Mom's vagina.

robzilla
robzilla

I found this article thanks to digg, and enjoyed it. I appreciate the laughs and hope you didn't actually eat those tacos, they are part of a government plot to accelerate the death of American fats and homeless.

If Westword was always this entertaining, i might have read more than one copy when i was in Denver for the summer.

You have my permission to pick up the bong back up and keep on writing :)

your moms
your moms

You bought 28 tacos...and presumably ate them. Who are you to complain about their faux meat or fat American's.

Another sarcastic loser with a fucking blog who thinks he's funny.

...
...

talk about a child of the entitlement generation, work for what you want, you fucking parasite

Anonymous
Anonymous

Were you rejected by the crowd or just an aspiring circle jerker? You seem to have deep knowledge of it's inner workings.

Chris
Chris

God put a fucking cork in it. No one wants to hear you bitch your heart out over taco bell.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Sorry, Denver, that your blog was exposed to the digg nerds. It's a site full of social outcasts, you know the type, those pimple faced D&D players from high school that nobody talked to. Ever wonder what they're doing since high school? (No) They're on this website called Digg in a constant circle-jerk of hatred and bitterness.

raytube
raytube

Adam, congrats on the Digg pickup. You are like a Delorean in an economy lot.

modulus
modulus

This is actually incredibly humorous.

It's obvious that you're not serious.

Well played, Adam, you made me laugh out loud in the middle of class and get awkward looks.

You fucking douchebag.

chris
chris

OH MY GOD! TACO BELL OFFERS A DEAL AND YOU HAVE TO BUY A DRINK! THOSE BASTARDS!

Quit whining, you freeloading douchebag.

Now Trending

Denver Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...