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The Westword Meth Project: Vote for your favorite fake anti-meth slogan

Bathroom.jpg
From ColoradoMethProject.org
Tweet a request for fake anti-meth slogans and ye shall receive.

Earlier today, we posted a blog offering alternative slogans for the fledgling Colorado Meth Project's new ad campaign. The ads are aimed at teenagers and feature gritty images aside such slogans as, "No one thinks they'll try to tear off their own skin. Meth will change that."

Among our suggestions: No one thinks the square root of 36 is 5. Meth will change that.

We Tweeted a link to the blog and -- lo and behold! -- our Twitter friends responded with their own catchy slogans, such as:

No one ever shows up to your parties. Meth will change that.

No one thinks you invented snowboarding. Meth will change that.

Everyone knows running with scissors is a bad idea. Meth will change that.

We've compiled more than 50 responses -- and we want you to vote for your favorite by copying and pasting it into the comments section of this blog. The winner will get a prize. Probably meth, but possibly tickets of some sort. Vote away!

# hookedonwinter@denverwestword: You have a mediocre or above sex life? Meth will change that.

# Kelly Tidddulcedementia@DenverWestword: You think Bill O'Reilly makes absolutely no sense? Meth will change that.

# hookedonwinter (PJ)hookedonwinter@denverwestword: Nobody actually finds logic in Fox News. Meth will change that. (ya, that stemmed from http://bit.ly/FI94n)

# hookedonwinter (PJ)hookedonwinter@denverwestword: Never been on The Smoking Gun's Mug Shots of the Week? Meth will change that.

# Brian DubravacShakespeare1027@denverwestword: No one thinks that Cabin Boy is, like, the greatest movie EVAR. Meth will change that.

# hookedonwinter (PJ)hookedonwinter@denverwestword: You think marijuana is an addictive substance. Meth will change that.

# Grant Beeryvoteforgrant@denverwestword: No one thinks that bouncer has a glass jaw. Meth will change that.

# Brian DubravacShakespeare1027@voteforgrant @denverwestword: No one you know admits to watching the Maury show. Meth will change that.

# Grant Beeryvoteforgrant@denverwestword: No one you know has ever been on the Maury show. Meth will change that.

# Kelly Tidddulcedementia@DenverWestword: Most people can tell the difference between a glass of Coca Cola and a cup of tobacco chew spit. Meth will change that.

# Kelly Tidddulcedementia@DenverWestword: Think eating your hair for a late night snack is a bad idea? Meth will change that.

# voteforgrant@denverwestword: You think toilet paper is an essential? Meth will change that.

# Krista Jurczeniakristanichole: You think standing on the copy machine at work yelling, "I'm the king of the world" is a bad idea. Meth will change that.

# J C HootbitNomad.@DenverWestword: Never walked to 7-11 just to pick up straws? Meth will change that.

# Aaron DeLayaarondelayRT @timbrauhn @DenverWestword: I don't expect myself to be standing behind you RIGHT NOW. Meth will change that.

# Brian DubravacShakespeare1027@DenverWestword: No one thinks that the Teletubbies are real. Meth will change that.

# Krista Jurczeniakristanichole: Usually, watching a Danielle Steele movie on Lifetime is boring. Meth will change that.

# Grant Beeryvoteforgrant@denverwestword: No one hits on the cashier at the gas station. Meth will change that.

# Krista Jurczeniakristanichole: http://twitpic.com/5pf84 - People will tell you that this is a stupid tattoo. Meth will change that.

# Tim BrauhntimbrauhnRT @hookedonwinter: @denverwestword RT @kristanichole: People think visiting Casa Bonita is only for kids. Meth will change that.

# hookedonwinter (PJ)hookedonwinter@denverwestword: No one thinks that Sushi from last week is still good. Meth will change that.

# Kelly Tidddulcedementia@DenverWestword: No one thinks building a giant tower to hold your money and periodically swim in it is a good idea. Meth will change that.

# Grant Beeryvoteforgrant@denverwestword: No one sleeps on the 15 bus. Meth will change that.

# Kelly Tidddulcedementia@denverwestword: No one thinks your eating disorder is funny. Meth will change that.

# hookedonwinter (PJ)hookedonwinter@denverwestword: Nobody fucks with the Jesus. Nobody. Meth will change that.

# voteforgrant@denverwestword: No one cried at the end of Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Meth will change that.

# hookedonwinter (PJ)hookedonwinter@denverwestword: Nobody triple dog dares a double dog dare. Meth will change that.

# Grant Beeryvoteforgrant@denverwestword: No one thinks that tastes good. Meth will change that.about

# hookedonwinter (PJ)hookedonwinter@denverwestword: No one thinks taking their life savings and turning it into confetti for a fake parade is a good idea. Meth will change that.

# Kelly Tidddulcedementia@denverwestword: Nobody beats a dealing doug deal. Meth will change that.

# Rick RamosTrypnotikRT @DenverWestword: What's that? You've never tried heroin? Meth will change that.

# Grant Beeryvoteforgrant@denverwestword: No one thinks that Dane Cook is funny. Meth will change that.

# Kelly Tidddulcedementia@denverwestword: No one think putting a pickle there is funny. Meth will change that.

# Kelly Tidddulcedementia@denverwestword: No one cares about your prize winning tulips. Meth will change that.

# hookedonwinter (PJ)hookedonwinter@denverwestword: No one thinks spending all day on Twitter talking about meth is a good or fun idea. Meth will change that.

# hookedonwinter (PJ)hookedonwinter@denverwestword: You don't have any imaginary friends? Meth will change that.

# DenverWestwordDenverWestwordRT @voteforgrant: No one thinks that a cocker spaniel is a good babysitter. Meth will change that.

# Grant Beeryvoteforgrant@denverwestword: No one really thinks you're the marrying type. Meth will change that.

# hookedonwinter (PJ)hookedonwinter@denverwestword: No one thinks you invented snowboarding. Meth will change that.

# Grant Beeryvoteforgrant@denverwestword: No one thinks they can jump Springfield Gorge on a skateboard. Meth will change that.

# hookedonwinter (PJ)hookedonwinter@denverwestword: No one would ever deny firemen entry into a house to save your wife, who is on fire. Meth will change that.

# voteforgrant@denverwestword: No one thinks exploring the old haunted mine is such a good idea. Meth will change that.

# hookedonwinter (PJ)hookedonwinter@denverwestword @voteforgrant: You have a beautiful smile! Meth will change that.

# Grant Beeryvoteforgrant@DenverWestword: No one ever shows up to your parties. Meth will change that.

# benrice23benrice23RT @DenverWestword: The bathroom needs to be painted. World of Warcraft isn't going to play itself. There's never enough time! Meth will change that.

# hookedonwinter (PJ)hookedonwinter@denverwestword @voteforgrant: "Never Have I Ever.... been to a federal prison and not known why." Meth will change that, too.

# Grant Beeryvoteforgrant@DenverWestword: No one can tolerate you for more than 5 minutes at a time. Meth will change that.

# Grant Beeryvoteforgrant@denverwestword: No one thinks your summer vacation story is interesting. Meth will change that.

# hookedonwinter (PJ)hookedonwinter@DenverWestword: Everyone knows running with scissors is a bad idea. Meth will change that.

# Grant Beeryvoteforgrant@denverwestword: No one thinks swimming right after eating is a good idea. Meth will change that.

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