Jobbed: Here comes Santa Claus

Qualifications: You must look the part and have a jovial personality to thrill the kids.

Responsibilities: Being Santa Fri, Sat & Sun evenings from 12/4 through 12/20 and the 21st, 22nd & 23rd in downtown Denver. Costume furnished.

Pay: N/A, but a contract is required

What it doesn't say: You will be coughed on, peed on and cried on. Children will be afraid of you; parents will hope you're not a perv. Elves are not real elves. No one asks Santa what HE wants for Christmas. You will not actually be provided a list of who is naughty and who is nice. You will not be able to return to South Pole on December 26. Red is not your color.