Kenny Be's Worst-Case Scenario: The grand illumination

The Winter in the City program is an effort to warm up to suburban shoppers by showing them how "Denver has seen the light!"

The evening begins at Union Station with a visit from "Concealed-Carry Claus." He will be packing a 500-magnum "candy cane" as a promise of protection to all white guys attending holiday parties in Lodo.

Stroll the 16th Street Mall for the "Downtown's aTwitter" window-design contest. Inspired by the popularity of the Wolf Auto billboard out in Wheat Ridge, businesses go wild in trying to get attention by creating anti-Obama holiday-themed displays. The winner is chosen, not for creativity or beauty, but by receiving the greatest number of Twittet tweets!

At 6:45 P.M., the gang member countdown ends as Mayor Hickenlooper throws the switch to "Lighten the Nights" by turning on the City and County Building holiday light display. He will then lead the all-city employee furlough-day choir in singing suburbanite favorite White Christmas.