CU bans Nerf guns: Here's our top five list of other dangers it should nix next

Beware a fusillade of spongy, padded death.

CU-Boulder has banned Nerf guns being used in an on-campus game called Humans vs. Zombies, ostensibly because cops seeing the handle of the weapon protruding from pants or pockets might think a student was packing a real weapon as opposed to one primarily used by children.

Seem over the top? Shows how little you know. The Nerf gun rule only highlights the enormous number of other risks at university facilities that desperately need to be addressed, pronto.

Here are the five that concern us most.

5. Bicycles: These vehicles may look safe, but riders with balance difficulties can have trouble controlling them and may crash into unsuspecting passers-by, causing serious injuries. And don't underrate their speed. Lance Armstrong doesn't.

4. Books: When dropped, textbooks can cause severe bruising -- and many are so heavy that they can easily be tripped over, likely resulting in even greater pain and suffering. And even when used properly (e.g., for reading purposes), they can cause irritating eye strain or tremendous boredom -- and sometimes both.

3. Pens and pencils: For years, we've heard parents say things along the lines of, "Be careful with that! You could put someone's eye out!" Well, it's true, particularly as it applies to writing utensils. Is jotting down a note really worth risking a lifetime spent looking like Long John Silver?

2. Paper: Paper cuts don't just hurt. If left untreated, they're susceptible to potentially deadly infections. So, until the day when a permanent kibosh is put on this crinkly scourge, keep a bottle of Bactine on hand at all times.

1. Air: It can sting, especially on a cold day like today. It can smell bad. It can carry invisible yet deadly toxins. And it does nothing to stop Nerf darts from striking unsuspecting targets. Egad!