Jobbed: King Soopers scabs, uh, replacement workers
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The Job, as posted online: Temporary Replacement Clerk at King Soopers
Responsibilities: King Soopers will be hiring temporary replacement clerks as a precautionary measure due to a potential labor dispute with the UFCW Local 7.
Qualifications: A beating heart (just kidding, sort of). You MUST bring documents that show proof of eligibility to work in the U.S. and pass a pre-employment drug screen.
What it doesn't say: If there is a strike or lockout and you are hired, you will be spat on, screamed at and followed home by union members. You may be shunned by your family and friends if they are in a union or sympathize with organized labor. You will be called a scab by just about everyone. On the other hand, shoppers who cross the picket lines will guiltily -- but happily -- look you in the eye. Sort of.