Top 10 jokes not to tell on an airplane -- especially if you're Qatar diplomat Mohammed Al-Madadi

airplane bathroom sign on flickr.jpg
A Flickr photo
There's a reason the no smoking symbol is so close to the shoes icon, pal.
How the hell did Colorado become the go-to state for bizarre terrorism-related incidents or scares?

First, there was Najibbullah Zazi, who allegedly tried to make lethal weapons from ingredients at a local beauty supply store. Next came Jamie Paulin-Ramirez, aka Jihad Jamie, a Leadville mom accused of being a jihadi wannabe with a death wish for a Swedish cartoonist. And now, we have Qatar diplomat Mohammed Al-Madadi, who reportedly sparked a jet-scrambling mid-air panic after sneaking a smoke in the bathroom of a United flight and then joking that he'd been trying to light his shoes.

For the record, pal, it's not a good idea to crack wise about blowing up a plane while you're on one -- although, admittedly, some lines are more likely to cause a freak-out than others. Here's our top ten to avoid:

10. "These explosive underpants are really starting to chafe..."

9. "Isn't it ironic that they sat me in seat C-4?"

8. "That's not a pump on my Air Jordans. It's a plunger."

7. "I'm living proof that those whole-body imagers don't pick up everything..."

6. "Hey, hundred virgins waiting in the afterlife: Here I come!"

5. "You should have saved yourself some money and bought a one-way ticket."

4. "These shoelaces double as wicks."

3. "If they keep raising the baggage charges, I may have to start blowing up things on the ground."

2. "I'm going to miss those honey-roasted peanuts."

1. "Bombs away!"

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