Vampire made me crash my SUV, woman says
But a Fruita area woman was ahead of the bloodsucking curve. After she crashed her SUV on Sunday evening, she reportedly told state troopers a vampire made her do it.
According to KKCO-TV in Grand Junction, the woman told state troopers that she was driving on a dirt road near Fruita when a vampire appeared, causing her to back her SUV into a ditch.
In a followup, the station added this detail: "State Troopers do not believe drugs or alcohol were factors in this crash, but say the woman may not have taken certain medications that day."
A KKCO crash-scene image.
If skipping meds would produce visions of vampires, plenty of people would sign up these days.
In an attempt to learn more, we contacted Trooper Nate Reid, a spokesman for the Colorado State Patrol, who shared the disappointingly bare-bones report generated by the accident. Reid says the incident took place at 9:25 p.m. Sunday at Canal Road, one mile west of 20 Road. The driver, whom he identified as Susan Eggen, born in 1952, was behind the wheel of a 2002 Chevrolet Blazer. The narrative reads:
"Vehicle one was backing southbound down the Canal Road. Vehicle one traveled off the right side of the road, where it rolled into a ditch. Vehicle one came to rest facing northbound on its side in a ditch."
That's it. No mention of either a black-caped man with slicked-back hair and an absurd accent or a staggeringly handsome, pale complected teen with a brooding expression and an ability to smolder despite being cold-blooded. Such info may be in Eggen's statement, but Reid can't release that.
And why didn't the officers who responded to the scene slip a little fang into their version? "We investigate crashes," Reid says. "We don't investigate vampires."
Well, isn't it about time you started?