Woody Paige: Is he kissing that woman or trying to swallow her?
A brave photog sent Deadspin a photo of our own Woody Paige publicly macking on a young woman at Big Game Restaurant and Lounge.
Imagine a giant sucking sound.
The post makes us feel a little bad for the Woodman -- but that's trumped by our eagerness to laugh, point and share both the full-sized photo and some of the hilarious comments shared by Deadspinners.
Not pictured: the lifeless female husk that remained after Woody Paige finished sucking out her soul.
Good God, there's still hope for me!
Suck as hard as you want Woody, "her" adam's apple isn't going away.
That's a very nice hat she's wearing, and I don't mean that in an Eddie Haskell kind of way.
He only got some because Tony Raeli mercifully hit the MUTE button on him.
Mariotti was just out of the frame watching with his hands in his pockets.
That sex line number paid off, good for him. As for me, my Woody went away looking and thinking about anyone making out with that wrinkled, yellowed Paige.
This is one of those things you can do in Denver when you're dead, right?
"Oh, baby. Run your hands through this tangled rat's nest that sits atop my head."
"The thing I love about these Denver girls is I keep getting older, but they still roofie up the same way."
Jesus. I just ... Jesus.