Lost and found pets posters reveal secret lives of Dorkus and Moses: Kenny Be's Sign Language

Ruby Hill runaway may be in search of a new name.

They may be the raggedy-pant-tramp of the dog world, but even an American Bulldog has too much dignity to tolerate being called "Dorkus." While it may sound cute while playing fetch, the name starts to sound like Bulldog bullying when used with the everyday commands of "Sit, Dorkus!" and "Drop it, Dorkus!" Additionally, "She's belongs to an elderly woman" is improper street grammar and should read, "She's belonging to an elderly woman."

Look below to see how the recession is affecting Ruby Hill runaway reward offers...

These white purebreds all look the same.

Seven-hundred dollars seems like a lot of reward money for a dog, especially since the notation written above the offering seems to imply that $100 is the new $700. And, as seen in the lower right-hand corner of the poster pictured above, if this lost pet is so special, why did the dog's owner have to download a random picture of the breed from completedogguide.com instead of using an actual picture of "Moses?" This looks like the breed of dog that would have numerous outfits, with seasonal portraits.

At least it's still the dog that matters in Ruby Hill. As seen below, in Capitol Hill it's all about the dog's owner...