Unfriending: These are exactly the type of Facebook updates that will get you booted

Categories: Tech

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University of Colorado-Denver PhD student Christopher Sibona recently used science -- science! -- to figure out why people "unfriend" each other on Facebook.

One big reason? Frequent, unimportant posts -- which got us here at Westword thinking about the all-time worst Facebook status updates.

So we Googled it and found www.facebookstatus.org, which is home to some truly awful ones. In fact, it's hard to tell whether they're status updates or punchlines from the cartoon "Cathy."

To be clear, the website is not trying to be awful. As evidenced by its ultra-obvious name -- The Funny Facebook Status Update Website -- it's trying to be, well, funny.

But instead, it appears to be a repository for the groan-inducing "forwards" of yesteryear. It's like the folks behind this website raided your great aunt's old AOL outbox and handpicked her best Fwd: zingers. Now, they're peddling them as Facebook status updates for people who can't think of their own, or who (wrongly) believe that posting these one-liners is better than posting what they ate for breakfast. It isn't. I'd rather hear about your Kashi, and how it was stale, and how you hated it.

A sampling from the website:

Don't worry about what other people think. They don't do it very often.

Any woman can have the body of a 21 year old, as long as she buys him a few drinks.

I'm making myself sick worrying about my health.

Breaking news -- Energizer Bunny arrested & charged for battery.

Is it just me, or does hamstring sound delicious?

No, ma'am, it does not. Unfriend.


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