Christmas critters tangle with holiday decorations: Kenny Be's Sign Language

Lincoln Park Antler Lights Sign.jpg
Holiday 2010: Antler lights on Lincoln Park bull elk lure motorists to get massages.

The pampered beast shown on the TallGrass billboard in the photo above is this season's proud vision from the Evergreen hair- and skin-care coven endorsed by the cult of Oprah. Perhaps the gift cards advertised by the swanky spa will offer an "Elk Tune-up" to ease the trauma of holiday entanglements between man and animal...

Elk Tune-Up
Helps restore animals fatigued by the ravages of human encroachment and realign natural balance. Package includes: Damage Remedy Fur and Scalp Renewal, 50-Minute Bull Elk Facial, 80-Minute Aromatherapy Massage, Spa Antler Polish, Paraffin Hoof Dip, Furcut, Shampoo and Style.

Below, see how animals all across Denver are imprisoned by holiday outfits simply because they lack the hands to tear them off...

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