Stephen Edward Siebold allegedly bites the hand of the woman who won't buy him beer

Siebold.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you, the saying goes. But biting the hand that doesn't give you beer has drawbacks, too, as Stephen Edward Siebold, age nineteen, is finding out in regard to an incident that's already crossed the pond thanks to coverage in London's Daily Mail.

Here's the initial report about Siebold on the Boulder Police Department blotter.

Police responded to the 1200 block of Elder after a woman reported an acquaintance attempted to strangle her, bit her hand and hit her in the head with a skateboard after a verbal argument because she refused to buy the suspect beer. A 19-year-old male was arrested on several charges including Second Degree Assault.

More details come courtesy of the Boulder Daily Camera, which notes that the incident took place on Wednesday evening. A police report maintains that Siebold was hanging with his 21-year-old girlfriend when she declined to pick up some brewskis for him, precipitating a skateboard-wielding freakout. The Camera: "Police said they think he was under the influence of narcotics."

No! Couldn't be!

According to the Camera, the charges against Siebold on top of second-degree assault include "attempted sexual assault, obstruction of telephone service and domestic violence." If found guilty of these offenses, he may go a long stretch without beer. That's the way it goes, dude.

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