David Sirota named justice on Matt Taibbi's Supreme Court of Assholedom: Congrats!

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Thumbnail image for david sirota photo cropped.JPG
David Sirota.
If syndicated columnist and AM 760 talk-show host David Sirota's parents ever hoped their son would one day become a member of the Supreme Court, their wish has (kinda) been granted.

Today, Sirota is announcing that he has been named one of nine justices on the Supreme Court of Assholedom, a creation of Rolling Stone's Matt Taibbi. Sirota's loved ones must be so proud.

In a recent blog, Taibbi described this new entity like so:

I want to create a new Supreme Court of Assholedom. Structured much like the actual U.S. Supreme Court, it will employ nine justices, whose job it will be to regularly preside over important cases of national social consequence -- to wit, to decide a) whether or not a certain person is an asshole, and b) if he or she is, how much of an asshole.

The court will consider cases of all types. They will have titles ranging from things like United States v. Sarah Palin after the Tucson Shooting, to Taibbi v. Fat Guy in the Next Seat Who Monopolized the Whole Armrest on a Flight to Denver, to Humanity v. Anyone Who Has Ever Generated and/or Sent a Spam Message.

Several commenters to Taibbi's post nominated Sirota, whose definition of Assholedom is as follows:

Assholedom is a vast and diverse universe. Today, America has Stupid Assholes -- people like Thomas Friedman, David Brooks and Matt Bai... We also have Corrupt Assholes -- think the bipartisan majority in Congress that is paid for its votes to perpetuate Assholedom. And, of course, we also sport Willful Assholes like Wall Street CEOs... The fact is, other than Rahm Emanuel and Michael Jordan, almost nobody singularly represents all of Assholedom. In that sense, there is no unifying theory of The Asshole, meaning Assholedom can only be identified in the same way the U.S. Supreme Court famously identified obscenity: You know it when you see it.

In a note to readers and listeners, Sirota writes that he's "letting you know about this new court in order to solicit your input. Specifically, if you have cases you'd like considered by the court, please e-mail me so I can put them on the court's docket. One thing however: Though I certainly have my (inadvertent) moments of lamentable assholishness that might make me a great case for the court, I personally cannot appear as a defendant before the court because I am serving as a justice."

KOA yakker Mike Rosen will probably be disappointed by this last caveat.

More from our Media archive: "Mike Rosen slams David Sirota for distorting his 'satirical' mosque-destruction comment."

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5 comments
Beavis
Beavis

State of Colorado vs. Tom Tancredo, Douglas Bruce, Michelle Malkin et al?

WidderShinnz
WidderShinnz

But doesn't Taibbi and Sirota's being ginormous assholes themselves bring about some kind of constitutional-asshole crisis?

Michael Roberts
Michael Roberts

Beavis, I suspect Sirota will gladly add this trio to his docket. Thanks for posting.

Boondocker
Boondocker

Sirota does occasionally come off as assholier than thou! But what I'm worried about, Beavis, is that in this new designation, Sirota might refrain from lambasting other assholes out of professional courtesy.

Michael Roberts
Michael Roberts

Sounds like you may want to nominate an entirely different set of justices. Thanks for posting, Widder Shinns.

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