Danny Lopez likes to think he is a mayor candidate: Kenny Be's Speed Candidating

Ballots for the 2011 General Municipal Election were mailed out to voters late last week. With nine candidates running for Denver mayor, voters will need to keep a "cheat sheet" handy. My Speed Candidating profiles cut through the political rhetoric to reveal the painful truth. Today, we feel the hurt of Danny F. Lopez...

As seen above, the Speed Candidating profile for Danny F. Lopez condenses the essence of the man and his mayoral mission. This abbreviated version is best understood when read in a side-by-side comparison with Speed Candidating profiles of the other eight mayoral candidates.

On his campaign website, Danny F. Lopez claims that he is the candidate that corporate America fears will be elected to office. Details of what corporate America may fear are not spelled out exactly, but allusions to career politicians, media control, Joe the Plumber and the Tea Party hint at the frustrations of a common man who has hit the campaign trail to share his pain.

The Lopez for Mayor website details the pain of being a second-tier candidate in a race of nine. The saddest samples include candidate forum dis-invitation letters published in full. Fans of the ALL CAPS writing style will enjoy "THERE IS NO DEMOCRACY IN DENVER," while more cerebral readers may enjoy the posting that is simply titled, "I like to think."

According to his Westword mayor's race profile, Lopez is a television unit supervisor tasked with inspecting pipelines for Denver's Wastewater Management division. A fitting position for a man who likes to think he can clean up the muck at City Hall.

More from our Kenny Be/Comics archive: "Doug Linkhart has the grassiest grassroots in mayor's race: Kenny Be's Speed Candidating."