Colorado tourism industry needs truthier mascots: Kenny Be's Worst-Case Scenario

At the very least, the recent ragtag assembly of Colorado tourist-attraction mascots at the Discover Colorado Rally proved that the snuggly symbols of the state's travel industry are out of touch with reality. To appeal to today's cash-strapped consumer, Colorado needs truthier travel mascots...

Breckenridge Bud and Frozen Dead Guy lead the parade.

The Downtown Aquarium shark and the Butterfly Pavilion Praying Mantis will never attract as many tourists as Breckenridge Bud! And, unlike the other mascots pictured above, the more bong-stuffed Breckenridge Bud sucks, the better he gets.

Let's get real. Historic Molly Brown's days of icy fame are long gone. Today's tourists are more inspired by oddball reality mascots like Nederland's Frozen Dead Guy, who flashes his freezer doors to expose his frosty organs and entice the incredulous to the state's many mountain-town festivals.

Below, come for the weird ticks and stay for the Pine Beatles...