Sh*t-covered man hides in porta-potty tank at yoga fest, wanted on unlawful sex contact charge

Categories: News

slumdog millionaire toilet scene.jpg
Remember the hilarious scene from Slumdog Millionaire in which a little boy winds up covered in shit from an outdoor toilet? Betcha one woman will never find it amusing again. That's because when she went to use a porta-potty at a Boulder yoga festival, a man was apparently in the tank beneath her, slathered in waste.

According to the Boulder Daily Camera, the incident took place Friday at the Hanuman Festival. The woman stepped inside the portable john, but when she lifted the toilet's lid, she noticed movement in the depths below.

Unsurprisingly, she got the hell out as quickly as she could and asked a man to check the toilet. He subsequently told cops he saw something moving beneath a tarp in the tank, and when he left the porta-potty, he heard the door lock behind him.

At that point, the fest's security supervisor decided to wait outside for whoever had been lurking in the muck to step back into the light. Shortly thereafter, he was greeted by a strange sight -- a skinny, black-haired white man in his twenties, standing between six-feet-five and six-feet-eight inches tall, with cuts on his back and arms and wearing only a pair of gray sweatpants.

Although the color was probably tough to discern, given that he was soaked in feces.

The security supervisor reportedly tried to get the man to sit down, but he ran off -- and who can blame the guy for not trying to tackle him?

Boulder police are looking for the man, who they want on suspicion of attempting to make unlawful sexual contact. They add that they're not sure how he managed to work his way into the tank. But remember: He was attending a yoga festival. Downward facing dog, maybe?

Oh yeah: Some witnesses think the guy may be a transient who goes by the name "Sky." If so, that moniker probably needs an update.

More from our Colorado Crimes archive: "Sarah Lane busted for outstanding warrant after throwing pita sandwich at cab driver."

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20 comments
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colgate coupons

I really thought I had heard just about everything until I saw this on the news....It is so unbelievable and so sick!!!!!

Why Phen375
Why Phen375

Ohh... this is so sick.... I can not imagine it......

Ana
Ana

This guy is evil.  He's also dangerous beyond the fact that he sexually harassed women but also because he could turn into a walking disease.  There are lots of communicable diseases  he could contract and pass on to unwitting passersby.  Many variants of Hepatitis immediately come to mind. 

Harvey
Harvey

Just pay attention to the details and it all makes perfect sense...tall, shirtless white guy in gray pants with scratches on his back and arms who ran off when he saw the light of day.... it was Andy Dufresne escaping from Shawshank.

Melissa Sayouth
Melissa Sayouth

One news station said he was wearing rubber handcuffs. WTF?!?!

John
John

that's just shitty

Fabio
Fabio

Boulder Weekly's story was better. Come on, guys, I thought you were an alt-weekly? Maybe all corporations do stick together...

Barbara Morgan
Barbara Morgan

I really thought I had heard just about everything until I saw this on the news....It is so unbelievable and so sick!!!!!

CoreyDonahue
CoreyDonahue

Mike, or the guy could be some sick fuck who likes to get shit on, like Cartmans mom in the German Shizer videos.  I hope these "Some witnesses" were not cooked up by the cops or the rich white attendants of the fest to justify the continued harassment of the transient and poor of Boulder, because the Daily Camara wrote it with a strong leaning toward that out come.

Stan
Stan

Moderation will reduce your paranoia.  Aren't you the guy who lit up a joint during the recent Legalization Debate?

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