Catherine Keske, CSU prof, ordered back to jail in parenting dispute over e-mail

catherine keske.jpg
Catherine Keske
Update: CSU professor Catherine Keske was jailed after being found in contempt of court in relation to a case brought by her ex-husband, Jeffrey Handley. Among other things, he accused her of interfering with his ability to communicate with one of his sons by failing to provide the boy with his own cell phone and an unmonitored e-mail account. She was released four days later -- but now that mandate has been reversed.

Yesterday, Keske learned that a Jefferson County magistrate has revoked her release order and reimposed her ninety-day jail sentence for contempt. Magistrate Judith Goeke, who'd previously signed the order releasing Keske, ordered that she report to the jail by August 27 or a bench warrant would be issued. Goeke then left on vacation -- as did Magistrate Chris Voisinet after handing down the contempt sentence two weeks ago.

Keske says she'll appeal the ruling and maintains that the punitive sentence is unwarranted. "No district court judge has ever found against me in this case, and we've had four in five years," she says. "My family is behind me 100 percent. I think I'm bringing to light a bigger issue -- that reform is needed in the domestic law industry."

If Keske is incarcerated, her jailing will postpone a hearing scheduled for next week that she'd sought to enforce parenting time, claiming that her ex has blocked contact with the son in his custody for the past two years. It will also have impact on the son in her custody, she adds.

"I have a special needs child," she says. "My ten-year-old son needs me. I am a productive taxpayer and am training students for productive careers. Any incarceration disrupts my job. All I'm trying to do is to get [Handley] to comply with the parenting orders."

Look below for our earlier coverage.

Original item, 1:32 p.m. August 22: As a research scientist and professor in the College of Agricultural Sciences at Colorado State University, Catherine Keske is used to dealing in hard numbers and measurable results. But she says she doesn't have all the data she needs to figure out why she was sentenced to ninety days for contempt of court in Jefferson County on August 11, or why she was abruptly released four days later.

"I was taken out of the courtroom in handcuffs, for reasons that aren't clear to me," she says. "Then somebody came to my aid. Somebody let me out. I don't know who that is."

Keske's sentence was imposed at the conclusion of a two-day contempt hearing by Magistrate Chris Voisinet. The proceeding had been sought by Keske's ex-husband, Jeffrey Handley, who complained that Keske was interfering with his ability to communicate with one of his sons by, among other actions, failing to provide the boy with his own cell phone and an unmonitored e-mail account. Voisinet ruled that Keske had violated court orders in the former couple's long, contentious parenting dispute -- and sent her to jail as a punitive measure.

"He said I was willfully not abiding by court orders," Keske says. But she contends she'd tried to encourage communication between Handley and the son in her custody and has records showing that the boy called his father once a week. She maintains that her sentence was unfounded and excessive, that she's been targeted for retribution because of her efforts to reform what she calls "the underbelly of the family law industry."

Keske and Handley each have custody of one son from their marriage. But their parenting arrangements have been the subject of numerous court filings, with each side accusing the other of disrupting relationships and alienating their children. In the course of the costly and much-litigated case, Keske has become an outspoken critic of Colorado's domestic court system.

Last spring she testified in favor of Senate Bill 187, which tightens the regulation of child and family investigators, court-appointed experts who are supposed to help judges make decisions in difficult custody cases. Keske's case has had three CFIs so far. "This has been a very long divorce action that was made much worse by a child and family investigator," she says.

But Handley's attorney says that Keske's contempt sentence was a direct result of her personal conduct, not her activism. "This is a tough case," says Mechelle Faulk. "It comes down to her not complying with court orders. Dr. Keske has attempted to create a scenario in which she is the victim. My client does not believe that is the case.

"She's been extremely aggressive with many issues in this case. At every opening she attempts to make this case more litigious, more vexatious. She's made attempts to impede my client's relationship with the child. She continues to make allegations that she's being harassed, but she's been the aggressor."

Contempt sentences of ninety days or more are unusual but not unprecedented in domestic cases. After Keske received her sentence, family members and supporters contacted legislators and court administrators about the case. Keske says her prescription medications were taken away from her on her second day in the Jefferson County Detention Facility and that she suffered a panic attack. Then she was informed by a jail employee that she could be released if she paid $1,700 that the court had ruled she owed to her ex. She arranged for the payment and was released on August 15.

"I believe that someone high above in the legal or legislative system recognized the wrongdoing against me and my family and appropriately commuted my sentence," she says.

Faulk, however, has filed a motion seeking to vacate the release order and require Keske to serve the sentence Voisinet imposed. It was another magistrate, not Voisinet, who signed the release order, she notes.

"We believe the magistrate made an error," Faulk explains. "The final order of the court has not been modified in any way."

Voisinet also ordered Keske to set up an unmonitored e-mail account for her son and to inform school officials that Handley can contact him there. Keske insists she has respect for the court system and is taking steps to meet the conditions. She returns to Voisinet's court in a few weeks for another hearing, seeking access to the son who is in her ex-husband's custody. As in the contempt proceeding, she's acting as her own attorney.

"Does it pass the sniff test that I have a motion for enforcing parenting time in two weeks?" she asks. "I have not seen my son in two years."

More from our News archive: "Child/family investigator measure moves ahead amid tales of greed trumping kids' best interest."


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45 comments
sherloxhome
sherloxhome

This same judge just over ruled a court assigned Decision Maker !!!!   He signed an "emergency request" just before Christmas denying my friend an approved vacation with child.   Ruined the child's Disney Trip.

  How can a ANY  Divorced Parent put faith in such corrupt system ? What is point of having a Decision Maker ? This invalidates entire Decision Maker Profession !  Someone should investigate conduct of this court.

Court Watcher
Court Watcher

And you would know how?  Again, a reply would only be dignifying your ignorance. You must be one of the non brilliant, average sized men.  Have to put down women to make yourself feel better.  Of course, I just hadn't realized it.Hopefully there hasn't been a woman stupid enough to reproduce with you yet.

Elizabeth Cline
Elizabeth Cline

I have been involved in a similar 4 year case in Summit District Courts.  I too have been pro se and have been on the receiving end of the horrible attorneys representing the opposing side's anger and vindictiveness.  While I have yet to be arrested, I too have been threatened with contempt and jail time for similarly stated things.  After so much time, after so much money (which is difficult as a single mother who pays for the children 100%), I am finally letting it all go.  My options were to continue as Ms. Keske has and be jailed or to let my children go, which is NOT in their best interest.  To Ms. Keske and her entire family, I am so deeply sorry you are experiencing this.  There is something fundamentally wrong with our domestic relations court processes and the attorneys who are allowed to remain involved in cases such as these. I firmly believe these attorneys are the ones who elevate and heighten the nastiness just for their own revenue.   Once I have been able to recover myself and emotions, I would love to be involved in change at our State level.  Ms. Keske and her family, please know you are in my thoughts right now even as I am going through the same thing.  I promise to remain strong for my children because I see your strength.  I know that you may not feel so strong some days - trust me I know all too well - but like I was told last night, we have to dig deep and be strong for our children.

Elizabeth ClineSummit & Park County, Colorado

Nicole
Nicole

I know Catherine, she is an intelligent, passionate, kind person. Anyone judging her here does NOT have experience with our so called justice system, especially corrupt Jefferson County. Even if she was gulity, which she is NOT, 90 days for this? Most criminals don't get 90 days. When is it in a child's best interest to have their mom taken away and not be able to work for a jail sentence for no valid reason? If she did set up an email account for her son she would have been at fault for setting up an email account for a 10 yr old. You are damned either way. THE COURTS FAVOR THE HIGH CONFLICT PERSONALITY SINCE IT BRINGS IN MORE REVENUE - PERIOD. This is about how much money those digusting attorney's can take away from families. She is pro se after years of wasting money with attorney's who are only there for the money and not to truly help. Her ex's lawyer claims Catherine is the aggressor - what of NOT setting up an email account? Parents are forced into the court system when one parent is unreasonable, the other has no choice. All it takes is ONE unreasonable person and then the court system is all for helping that sociopath abuse you through the court system. Judges are criminal in how they punish innocent parents and hurt children while they help their attorney and CFI friends. If the focus was children and not money we would have need this message board.

Anderson8458
Anderson8458

As a single parent who raised 2 children on my own for 12 years, I dealt with my ex as little as possible, but NEVER, repeat NEVER denied him access to his children.  They are a part of both of you and no matter how much you despise your former spouse and want to see him dry up and die, you cannot withhold a child from their parent, unless they're a danger to them of course.  Then, when the children have grown and can make their own choices as to who they want to see, then that parent will see how well they did, are their children still in touch with them??  Do they call on birthdays and Father's Day, that's a choice that's theirs, it's sooooo nice when they reach 18 and you're done with all the bs.  Good luck to all parties involved.

George
George

It is interesting that so many of the comments on this article are written as though the writer has direct knowledge of the facts, the court's decision or the reason behind the court's decision.  People are claiming that judges are biased and that Keske's sentence is "outrageous" without having reviewed: the orders which Keske violated, the documents presented at the two-day hearing, Keske's testimony, the testimony of other witnesses, the demeanor of the witnesses and the detailed history of this long and litigious case.  Judges, regardless of the county in which they preside, have a very difficult job - especially in the context of family law.  In order for Keske to be sentenced to jail for a set period of 90 days, the father was required to prove beyond a reasonble doubt that Keske violated a court order and that such violation was willful and intentional.  That standard must have been proven in order for the judge to enter his order.

Were any of the individuals commenting on this article sitting in the courtroom observing the contempt proceedings against Keske?   Do any of the individuals commenting on this article even know what the specific orders were that she violated?  Do any of the individuals commenting on this article know why she has not seen one of her children for a significant period of time?

In contemplating this article, consider this:  shouldn't Colorado judges have the ability to sanction a parent if that parent is attempting to interfere with a child's relationship with the other parent?  In other words, if you were a divorced parent, wouldn't you want some recourse if your ex-spouse was attempting to harm your relationship and contact with your child?

Ponyboy
Ponyboy

From the story and comments here, I can tell that both parents suck.

Social Services should intervene, take custody, and protect this boy from becoming a shithead like his parents.

RandyM
RandyM

This woman is clearly being an unappeasable bitch for attention to her. She's a martyr, not a mother who can put what's best for her child in front of her own need for attention. The judge, who has heard all the facts, can see that. The end.

Court Watcher
Court Watcher

This typical retaliation in Jefferson County Courts who despise pro se parties.  The father is the "vicitim" when he has refused comply with the par enting time order for Mother to see her son.  Jefferson County is known for ignoring the rights of pro se parties and this is a clear indication of retaliation.

Annetteref
Annetteref

Another inaccuracy here is that the father was calling the school, demanding the boy be taken out of class constantly!  Why should his education be constantly interrupted for "chit-chat" phone calls that can take place any other time?  This was becoming a real problem for the school administration too.

  Also, Handley had broken court orders with his conduct, my question is, so why wasn't HE put in jail? 

This does NOT surprise me in the least since my CFI was allowed to stay on my case for 2 1/2 years when directives say, "60 days, write a report, & done"  he was also allowed to extort money from me, threatening me with the very safety, and well being of my son!  I was threatened, "I need another $1,000 retainer (Or, $2,000, or $3,000 whatever his mood was at that moment) or I will go to the court and recommend custody to your ex!"  By the way, my ex was a known child abuser!

Catherine is also Pro Se (self representing).  I also fired my attorney, and did much better on my own, there was no more wasted money on attorneys, CFI's. etc, and my son is no longer in any danger, he sees his father as often as HE desires, (As I would never want to interfere in their relationship, no matter what it may be) I gave my son the choice, but he no longer has to spend over nights with a verbally, and physically abusive man, who could treat him any way his vile temper lead him to do!  My son now sees his father only in public places, and under supervision, it has actually improved the relationship for both of them.  My son is no longer afraid, and his father has to keep his bad behavior in check, his father finally got the message that he would loose his son should his behavior continue.  Children NEED TO BE LISTENED TO IN COLORADO COURTS!  This boy knew what was going on better than anyone, but none of the alleged, "professionals" listened, we took matters into our own hands & got results.

So before you all judge Catherine so harshly, make sure you have all the facts first!  There were important facts left out of this story, what she really said was not, "once a week," but, "AT LEAST once a week."

Christine
Christine

The article did not explain that Catherine had her son contact his Father whenever he wanted too and did so. It's interesting how a story is portrayed in the news and certain slants are given in order to convey a message. So this story ends with a derogatory, untrue statement from the Father who placed the Mother of his Child in jail for 90 days over an untruth. He had an attorney, she did not. Who is the aggressor here? Place a mother in jail, have her lose her job, and hurt her child by her absence due to some vendetta by the father? Then its so interesting how Catherine, this so called criminal is let out of jail in 4 days. So why did the journalist not talk about that? Perhaps a mistake was made in that court room?

Concerned Taxpayer and Parent
Concerned Taxpayer and Parent

What kind of family law attorney, or for that matter, family law firm  or father would advocate that a custodial parent be jailed for 90 days? Did the order allow for work release? What kind of magistrate or judge would see that as being in a child or children's best interest, or a family's best interest emotionally or economically?

And how much is the jailing of a parent and the court time to address the types of matters for the circumstances listed above costing us as tax payers? Maybe someone from Jefferson County can share that information with us.

This is certainly an area Governor Hickenlooper could look into as a way of saving tax payer dollars. How many tax payer dollars have been spent to support attorneys and firms like the one mentioned above as well as the CFI's who were basically unmonitored for years? And have failed to demonstrate their effectiveness. THREE CFI's and the case has come down to a Magistrate who wants to jail a custodial parent for 90 days.

Do Jefferson County Courts need an overhaul? Is there a little too much codepenence among family law attorney's, CFI's and judges and magistrates? And is this codependence placing an undue burden on the taxpayers of Colorado as well as families?

Dana Hoag
Dana Hoag

Ms Faulkclaims that Catherine did not comply with court orders. As Catherine's husband,I can add some context and you can make up your own mind whether contempt occurred.There are three main points. 1) Catherine would not provide her 10 year old son withhis own cell phone.  The courtordered allowing phone contact, but never ordered that we provide our son withhis own cell. 2) Catherine is accused of not allowing her son to have his ownyahoo email account. He has a special account for children that protectsagainst predators. Again, allowing email was ordered, but having a Yahoo account was neverordered. 3) Catherine is accused of telling his school not to allow our son totalk to his biological dad on the phone while in school. This never occurred.

The importantpoint here is that there was no violation of anything ordered as Ms Faulkasserts.  Catherine made some judgement calls, but none aimed at alienating her son against his father.   Conviction is inappropriate,and jail is outrageous.  Who does it serve to put Catherine in jail when she has a special needs child who needs her at home, and when she can work and pay taxes? Why would her x be working so hard to put her in jail when his own son would be deprived of his mother, unless he had an axe to grind? 

Catherine has been working with a group of other concerned parents to have some changes made in the family law system.  If you don't know it already, there are many parents like us that are harassed through the legal system by angry x's that don't care how much they lose or who they hurt in their actions to attack their x's.  We do not want any more conflict.   It is very harmful and toxic for our kids.  We called a truce a long time ago.  Can Mr. Handley do the same for the sake of his kids?

Voisinet Victim
Voisinet Victim

I lost my kids in 2005 to this same Court because I MIGHT alienate, what interesting here is I had a cell phone for my 11 year old son to communiate with other parent, I also for 5 years continued soccer for my son he had been doing since he was 5, the Court decided 6 years later I was unfit because I was dictation other parents time with soccer allowing a cell phone for communicating with him and of course the real money maker in this the CFI's attorneys Magistrates and Judges by making claims to the P.A.S. the only people who should be in jail for this is the crooks who are harming our children for profit......This is criminal.................There will be a time when we as Americans will expose the truth of the all mighty family courts they destroy childrens lives everyday

Court Watcher
Court Watcher

Dear Anderson, unfortunately for some divorced parents and especially unfortunate for their children, it takes two to tango.  If the father does not call his son, who is to blame?  The father or the mother?  I have a daughter who is 12.  Her father does not call, does not text, yet claims that it is my fault.  What the "other" parent does not realize is that his actions speak louder than his words, when the "child" grows up, they may take another 10 years to realize to mature.  Age 18 is not a magical number.  I'd say more like 30.

  The tradgedy is that the court system doesn't care.  They simply want you out of their courtroom so that they can go home at the end of the day and complain about how little they get paid.  I'm speaking in general terms, there may be a good judge or judges helper" (the magistrates) out there, but they are few and far between.  Control issues and power rule the court room, and all the magistrates who fail to make it to the next level grow to resent their clients (the public) over time. 

  As far as attorneys, CFI's, and PRE's go, it's the good old boys network.  Plain, simple, true.

Voisinet Victim
Voisinet Victim

There is not reasonable doubt in family court.  I have personal been treated in this same manner in Jefferson County by the same Division. This Court loves to harm relationships between parent/child and ignores all laws, are you aware of how many C.R.S. there are in family law are you also aware the Court officials dont have to follow any of them and they dont.

Dana Hoag
Dana Hoag

A lot of us do have the facts.  You don't. 

Voisinet Victim
Voisinet Victim

Yeah PONYBOY thats sick Social Services is a joke. They have allowed my children to be abused.  When ever any mandated state report has reported abuse on my children they have protected the abuser and allowed for even more damaging abuse.  "Child protective" services needs to be shut down

Court Watcher
Court Watcher

Ponyboy:  again, naive and ignorant.  Social services?  REALLY?  They're going to "fix" things?  Absurd is the word that comes to mind.

Court Watcher
Court Watcher

Randy:  it appears that you are naive and ignorant.

Annetteref
Annetteref

Randy? Bitter are we?  You must be since you have completely IGNORED the fact the father disobeyed the court's orders too, yet he's off the hook!  You weren't there to see the injustice, obviously you've had a bad court experience yourself!  Since you weren't there, you don't know what you're talking about, so keep your potty mouth, and lame opinions to yourself.

Voisinet Victim
Voisinet Victim

I have received information regaurding the monies that truly pass through the hands of our Family Courts it is horrifying.  If Family Courts were shut down across the country we could pay off our debt in 10 years. 

Michael Roberts
Michael Roberts

Very interesting post, Concerned Taxpayer -- one we're going to make an upcoming Comment of the Day. Congrats, and thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Court Watcher
Court Watcher

Absolutely Jefferson County Courts need an overhaul.  They despise pro se parties, anyone who requests that the law be followed, and refuse to enforce their own orders.  As a party in a Jefferson County case for the last THIRTEEN YEARS, I feel that I can opine on this matter.  The Magistrates have little to no accountability and little is done when the Magistrate is FIRED, as occurred in my case.  Catherine is being made an example of to forewarn other parents involved in this county of what will happen to them if they dare to question the orders of the "court".Justice is obviously not blind.

MsMeT
MsMeT

I live in Michigan and I am facing trumped up "contempt" charges also.  Our family court system is an absolute joke.  My ex has a loud mouthed woman attorney who has proven time and time again if she yells loud enough she will get what she wants.  It is not about what is best for the children.  Every good intention I have done to encourage my daughter to have a relationship with her father has been completely turned around and used against me.  I feel like I just cannot win but it's our daughter that is loosing the most.  I feel it is absolutely appalling these attorneys can behave the way the do, and I don't believe for a second that this woman is trying to do what ever she can to destroy me.  Ex's are Ex's for a reason.  I have been divorce for 10 years and I will NEVER get married again.  I've had a steady boyfriend for the last three years that also has a crazy ex.  The Friend of the Court is an absolute joke and the referee's are even worse.  I really hope somebody wises up and doesn't allow her to go to jail.  Hang in there!!!

sherloxhome
sherloxhome

@Voisinet Victim,  Who was attorney representing X ? ( I'm seeing a pattern )

Ladyrainbow
Ladyrainbow

Wow Chris has been around for too long. Please retire soon Chris ! You are not needed in the system.

TunnelvisionforCourtWatcher
TunnelvisionforCourtWatcher

Pay them more.  $240,000.00 per year should do it (which is the average salary for a middle-tier partner at a good law firm).  Now get on that ballot initiative.

Problem solved!

Ladyrainbow
Ladyrainbow

I dislike Chris. I hope he retires soon. He has been around too long. He is not well liked in the community due to his work in my opinion. I had him and he is Personally the worst. All I have to say is I hope he retires soon. Amen. Literally---- out with the OLD and in with the new.

George
George

It would be interesting to see if your "facts" are consistent with the evidence, pleadings and transcript in the court record.

RandyM
RandyM

So the judge wasn't there, either? He seems to agree with me, Annettetheref. By the way, Annettetheref, since you brought it up, were you in court? How did the father ignore the orders?

AreUSerious?
AreUSerious?

Hey ding dong, apparently you are one of those people that believes every single thing you read. It's easy for Keske's husband to come on crying about how she is being done wrong. Have you actually read any of the court file or personally witnessed any of the hearings? People are warned for months about their non-compliant conduct before they end up in jail for contempt. In fact, it has to be a lot worse that failing to set up an e-mail for a person to go to jail. I'm sure Dr. Hoag has conveniently failed to enlighten people as to the full set of facts.  GoodGirl, you are a real quick one. Glad you reproduced. It'll give my kids a leg up in the job market.

Court Watcher
Court Watcher

With what money?  I think attorneys are overpaid to begin with.  Why don't we give money to education so our chldren's futures are better?

Ladyrainbow
Ladyrainbow

George - Watch Chris in action in court. It will make sense. Hmmmm - sensitive men who lack self worth hurts other people as a way for them to obtain satisfaction. There is a whole lot of satisfaction going on in his court room.

Court Watcher
Court Watcher

And you would know how?  Again, a reply would only be dignifying your ignorance. You must be one of the non brilliant, average sized men.  Have to put down women to make yourself feel better.  Of course, I just hadn't realized it.Hopefully there hasn't been a woman stupid enough to reproduce with you yet.

Watchthis2
Watchthis2

Same ol', same ol'.  No wonder you can't win in court.

Court Watcher
Court Watcher

Ignorant, idiotic, knows nothing.  You are off base and wrong. Needs nothing more to be said. 

Watchthis2
Watchthis2

Court Watcher has a kindred spirit in Keske.  Or is Keske.  Both display the same attitude; "I'm brilliant, everyone else is stupid, naive, or ignorant."

Oh, and they both are losers in court.

Watch this!
Watch this!

Likewise, Court Watcher.  The one comment you've made on this page beyond calling people ignorant and naive only portray the bitter taste you obviously have in your mouth from whatever case your have been involved in for the last 13 years.  It's incredibly easy to whine and complain about your own misfortunes and experiences, as well as to point the finger and call people ignorant and naive.  It's a bit more challenging to add something of value to the conversation.  I suggest that you actually take the time to acquire and read the relevant court documents before subjectively stating, "Catherine is being made an example of to forewarn other parents involved in this county of what will happen to them if they dare to question the orders of the 'court'.  Justice is obviously not blind."  

Ponyboy
Ponyboy

A pro se party conducting a 2-day evidentiary hearing?  I'm sure Keske was well-versed in the Rules of Evidence, Rules of Civil Procedure, and the applicalble statutes and case-law, so it couldn't have possibly have been her reliance on irrelevant complaints, hearsay, or other inadmissible evidence that her and her friends are relying on to bash the Judge's ruling. 

I'm sure her testimony, cross-examination of witnesses, focus on the relevant law, and argument was masterful.  I mean, anyone can do it, right?  Who needs law school and legal training?  Certainly it wasn't her hubris as an academic that got her into trouble.  She's brilliant.  Lawyers are stupid.  Who needs them?  And judges, well they're just stupid lawyers with political connections.  Keske and her blogging friends should all be judges, because after all, to hell with the law in this area that's been developed over decades, the people who stamp their feet and cry the loudest "it's all so unfair!" should win every time.

Get Real!
Get Real!

A real reporter or anyone who desires the facts in this case, rather than slanted and conveniently edited stories from this woman's family and friends, can get them from the courthouse.  It's all public record.  George, your comments make a lot of sense.  It is ridiculous that a judge would send someone to jail for 90 days over failure to provide an e-mail.  What is wrong with you people?  This was reportedly a two day hearing.  Clearly there is a lot more to this which has not been revealed.  It's sad that Dr. Hoag and his Keske choral are flooding the Channel 7 and Westword comment blogs with their copy and paste comments trying to convince everyone this is a horrible mistake by a bad judge and that none of this was this mother's fault in any way.  That doesn't make any sense people!  I'm not saying the dad is a saint, but try to exercise some common sense.

Dana Hoag
Dana Hoag

I would be happy to let any real reporter see the orders, including those that found that the x is the alienating parent and that we made every effort possible to allow and encourage access. We have lots of judge's statements, and ones from theropists.  This magistrate simply got it wrong.  We agree with Anderson, below, and feel it is very important to foster a relationship.  Our son calls on all occasions.  We help him with gifts for his dad on father's day and christmas, etc....  His dad, on the other hand, does not even let us see our other son on mother's day, or any other, let alone write a card.  Sometimes, you have to have some context to make a decision.

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