A glossary of kink terms you didn't want to know but now will
There are rules to every game, and learning about kink starts with identifying some basic BDSM definitions -- and reading this week's cover story, "Kink of the Jungle," of course. Below is an abbreviated selection of terms that may be unknown to non-kinksters, or as they are known, vanillas. Read them with caution, because if a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, then a little more might inspire a permanent vacation to the dark side.
Anal training: Inserting progressively long and/or girthy objects like butt plugs into an anus to stretch the sphincter for sexual activity.
Author's note: Lube is your friend.
Cell popping: A form of body modification, also referred to as micro-branding, which involves using a red-hot needle or poker to make a series of dots on the skin.
Author's note: Of course it hurts, but so does love.
Dragon's tail: A type of whip with a broad, triangular piece of suede or leather that tapers down to a point.
Author's note: So much ouch.
Emotional play: A type of psychological BDSM play involving humiliation, fear, shame or other elements that cause the recipient to have an emotional response.
Author's note: It's like watching Fox News, only more fun.
Figging: Inserting a piece of ginger or a hot chili pepper into the anus to produce a burning sensation.
Author's note: Make sure you can remove it. That trip to the E.R. is not one you want to explain to your HMO.
Golden shower: The act of urinating on someone.
Author's note: It's the bio-filtered drink of champions.
Hard limit: A non-negotiable boundary that is discussed and agreed upon as part of safe BDSM play.
Author's note: "No" really means "no" here.
Informed consent: The principle of consent being given with full knowledge of events, circumstances and participants -- and the ability to give consent, i.e. not being coerced or under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
Author's note: This is why screwing dogs is a bad idea -- also because screwing a dog is gross.
Jerkoff: The vanilla idiot who shows up uninvited at a kink play party and tries to screw everything that moves until he is either asked to vacate or is removed from the premises.
Author's note: Seriously, nobody likes this guy.
Knife play: BDSM play that involved the use of knives to psychologically torment and/or draw blood from a player.
Author's note: Jeweled daggers work well here.
Lactation: A fetish for human female breast milk, sometimes involving the actual expression of milk.
Author's note: Mothers need love, too.
Mindfuck: The act of manipulating someone's perception of reality.
Author's note: The Tea Party does this every day.