Pussy mug shots reveal evidence of anguish?: Kenny Be's Sign Language

Missing Cat Poster Kitty Threat Kenny Be Blog Head.jpg
Sunnyside-up cat is posed over-easy.

Careful inspection of Denver's Missing Cat and Found Kitty posters reveal hidden clues about a pussy's private life. The sideways glare of the "found kitty" pictured above hints that the pose may be forced, and that the finders are more interested in ransom than a reunion...

The simple question, "Is this your Kitty?" has an accusatory ring to it that suggests the cat's owner is going to pay dearly for his pet's return. That the cat has been splayed out on the deck and captured in a most unflattering flash of light intimates that the finder is uptight and wants to resolve the situation before the Stockholm Syndrome kicks in.

Below, costumed cats are destined to be missing cats...

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34 comments
Gary Lee Baker
Gary Lee Baker

If suck was sand then Kenny B would be the Sahara. The fact that you use others hard work to find there lost pets as fodder for your hack article just shows how talentless you truly are. I have used my real name as well unlike your stealth BoP tag you used to respond with below.. So in closing, fuck you, you fucking prick.

Anon
Anon

What?, no thinly veiled homophobic pussy jokes?  How are we supposed to "get it" without thinly veiled homophobic pussy jokes?

Anon
Anon

Officially, the lamest posting of the month, possibly the year.  Even counting those defending Lamborn.

I'm not defending Kenny Be or his name but Jesus, it's straight out of a middle-school locker room without the wit.  Did you even read it before hitting "post as"?

naomi
naomi

super jerky move dude...for real! i just lost my cat...my daughter and i taped posters everywhere...still no kitty...grow a heart... 

Jesi J. Jones
Jesi J. Jones

You are eff'd up! Why not kick someone when their down? Making fun of someone’s loss is one of the lowest things you can do. So what's next? Poking fun at animals who are homeless at shelters? Douche.

BunchofPussies
BunchofPussies

These postings just confirm that it's not about the animal, it's about you, isn't it?  Maybe if you kept better track or care of your cat it wouldn't run away.  So what's the excuse, "it broke its leash" or "it escaped from its cage" ?  Any other excuse, and you're fair game for making fun of.  You fucked up.  Besides, this article gave your missing cat more exposure that a thousand fliers would.  You should be grateful.  Think of your cat instead of yourself, for once.

Ian
Ian

very fucked up attempt at humor, and it fails miserably.  whats next, making fun of missing children pictures on milk cartons?  why don't you poke fun at 9/11 victims, too.  Fucking asshole, I'm done with this rag until there is an apology to the poor people who are missing their family members - animal or not.

guest
guest

I don't know what's more offensive, making fun of people while they're down, or the sad attempt at comedy.  You are a fucking waste of space Kenny Be.

Ladub
Ladub

I think you owe the owner a massive apology.  Go fuck yourself Kenny Be.

Betty
Betty

I've known David for many years and he is far from being an abuser to noche or any other animal foe that matter. Your judgement to use missing pets poster is an insensitive thing to do to say the least and your bosses should consider a reprimand or apology to your readers. It was an insult that was uncalled for, especially for animal lovers.

SSFast
SSFast

Owners that don't give a fuck don't take the time to make posters to hang all over the neighborhood and they certainly don't bother to worry their hearts sick about their cat. Nice job asshole.

Michael Bolton
Michael Bolton

This article could have been funny if it had been about Missing-Kenny-Be posters.

Geoff Strebel
Geoff Strebel

Kenny B anymore of an asshole?  Probably not.Kenny B unemployed soon?  I hope so.

tisha
tisha

I am sure you are trying to be funny, but its actually pretty fucked up. I know Noche's owner and he was not abusive in any way, he loved that cat dearly and searched for a very long time trying to find him. Those of us who have animals look  at them as a member of the family, to loose one (no matter in what manner) is devastating. You just come off as a dick, not a comic, when you make fun of their loss. 

Andrew Orvedahl
Andrew Orvedahl

Also, a cat in a necktie is funnier than any Kenny Be cartoon.  Ever.  And a cat in a necktie is never funny.

Andrew Orvedahl
Andrew Orvedahl

This is easily the stupidest feature in all of Westword.  Hey, lost pet owners?  Feeling extra down because your friend is missing?  Let Westword zing-meister Kenny Be salve your wounds with a good old-fashioned roast!  I understand the need for content, but this is actually subtracting from your site.

David Soto
David Soto

I am sure a lot people say this to you and you just let it roll off your back but Fuck You! That was my missing cat. 

Anon
Anon

Oh, hey look everybody!, Gary Lee Baker stopped dragging his knuckles on the ground long enough to hit a keyboard!  And he even gave us his REAL NAME!  Yippee, now we can really distinguish him from the other jack-in-the-box shouting "fuck" and "prick" from their one-room clapboard shacks at the edge of the beef processing plant in Greeley, while his 50 cats crap, spray and hump each other on his kitchen counter, bed, coffee table, you-name-it.

Gee, thanks Gary Lee Baker.  By the way, all of the postings on this board, except for your most honest, true, and forthright postings, are from one person hired by Westword's marketing department to twist your panties all in a knot.  But really, everyone isn't against you.  You can't believe everything that you hear through that tinfoil hat.

Gary Lee Baker
Gary Lee Baker

Are you so bored in your moms basement that you need to troll? Here is a  thinly veiled homophobic pussy joke for you, you are a fucking pussy. Pussy. Thinly veiled enough for you?

David Soto
David Soto

Look its the anonymous jerk who thinks this article did us a favor! I was wondering when you show up. I didn't see you calling us "fucked up" but I knew you have to show up on this post. It's funny how you see the silver lining in all this. Kenny Be is an asshole AND a public hero for making fun of my cat poster?! I should be grateful? If Kenny Be shows up on my doorstep with my cat then I will be grateful.

riomx
riomx

The irony is pain-inducing. "BunchofPussies" chooses to insult people with the protection of anonymity behind a computer screen.

guest
guest

Put his litter box outside. If he's around, he'll smell it and come home.

Good luck!

gary
gary

Awkward.....

BunchofPussies
BunchofPussies

Oh, are you still here?, proving my point?  Apparently you believe you'll have more success trolling a blog instead of looking for your cat.  After all, there's a better chance that someone who finds it will see this and respond, instead of seeing one of your fliers.

But no, it's still about you, isn't it?

BunchofPussies
BunchofPussies

That's weird, I tried to look up Riomx in the phone book but there is no one of that name.  Maybe I should have looked up "Stupidass who doesn't see the hypocrisy of his posting"?

feel the pain, stupidass.

Little Lisa
Little Lisa

Considering that it's been a year since Noche went missing I doubt Soto has any issues with trolling blogs at this point.  Just admit that you're out of line and let it go

BunchofPussies
BunchofPussies

I have considered the source; IQ of 40, limited vocabulary, the whiff of the South with the whole 3 names thing (is your brother's name Billy Bob and your sister's name Cindi Loo?), and I have concluded that my feelings are not hurt.  Of course, a mitigating factor is that you believe I am as creative as Kenny Be to confuse us as one.

Now get ready for chow time, I think they're about to open your cell.

BunchofPussies
BunchofPussies

Hipster douche alert!  It's either the real Michael Bolton or a lame reference to "Office Space", either way seriously lacking in creativity.

I just find it laughable that all of you supposed cat lovers are so focused on your hurt feelings instead of the ultimate objective of finding the cat.    I guess a months-long search eventually devolves to this as a way of coming to terms.  Or it's a sneaky way of using digital media to keep the search alive, you brilliant and angry manipulators!

So go ahead, rail against me and reality, but beware.  If I'm personally affected by any of your postings, I'm going to complain to the Better Business Bureau (*snort*).

Morgan
Morgan

You seem oddly defensive for someone completely uninvolved in any of this, BoP. By the way, I can't help but laugh at what you fucking named yourself. [We're clearly dealing with an intellectual here, people!]

Soto, you launched the biggest and most far-reaching poster AND internet lost-pet search I have ever seen, and you kept it going for months (and, apparently, it's still going). So, rest assured, anyone with half a brain can see how much you've done to get Noche back. You don't need to listen to a... (*snort*) self-proclaimed "collection of vaginas."

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