Medical marijuana dispensary (re)review: Golden Alternative Care

golden alternative care marijuana dispensary exterior.jpg
It wasn't my intent to re-review Golden Alternative Care, or any shop, this week. But I found myself out in the neighborhood after a trip up into the foothills to catch the aspens changing and wanted a joint or two for my ride home.

And to be really honest: I got stoned and forgot to Google it. We've done a lot of these places in our two-plus years, and it's hard to keep track.

Golden Alternative Care

807 14th St.
Golden, CO 80401
303-278-8870
www.goldenmedicalmarijuana.com

Hours: 10:30 a.m to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturday, closed Sundays.
Owner/managers: Craig Mardick
Raw marijuana prices: $35-$40/eighth, tax included. Members receive discounts.
Online menu: Yes, but not recently updated.
Other types of medicine: Edibles
Handicap accessible? Yes

The day I was in, the shop was manned by a guy with a strange resemblance to Tweak on South Park, only with a slightly Southern accent. My budtender gave me the tour-less tour of the place, pointing out the receptionist area, bud bar and back room from where we stood in the lobby. After taking my ID and red card and handing me a stack of paperwork to fill out, Tweak went off to the bud bar, which is separated from the rest of the dispensary with curtains, like the kitchen of a Japanese restaurant. Meanwhile, I filled out seven pages of paperwork while sinking into the money-green leather sofa that was probably bought back when Biggie made it cool, trying to figure out what part of the place Ms. Seed had deemed "stylish."

GAC.inside.jpg
Nothing much appears to have changed in the fourteen months or so since her visit. The place still has the same stoner chiropractor office feel, with mismatched leather couches, maroon carpet and random pieces of artwork and cannabis product posters hung around the lobby. It had the dumpy feel of shops about two years ago, when people were rushing to open a storefront with whatever furniture they had lying around in their basement. The center's not uncomfortable or dirty, just hokey. Like your single uncle with the un-ironic mustache's equally un-ironic bitchin' Chevy van with the Star Wars paint job on the side.

Now, in the long run, the interior of a shop doesn't matter. What really counts is the quality of the medicine available and how friendly staffers are to their patients. Tweak had the friendliness thing down, and the two of us chatted about life in Golden over the static-heavy sounds of 107.5 blaring from an out-of-sight boombox between the paperwork task and me making my way back to the bud bar. However, the medicine pretty much matched the hodgepodge surroundings.

Things are still all "top-shelf," though that term has truly lost all meaning and value other than as a point of reference to other shelves in a store. Top-shelf at Golden Alternative Care, for example, was about a dozen or so premature cuts of herb ranging in quality from passably smokable to why-didn't-they-turn-that-crap-into-hash. This opinion was based on the small half-gram to gram sample buds in tiny plastic baggies on a shelf about six inches below the glass counter. But seeing the buds in the jars as Tweak pulled them from the shelves did nothing to improve the situation.

Most of the dozen strains looked stressed and cut early. The White Shark was down to the leafy end, and the Agent Orange looked heat-stressed and smelled like it had been stored with orange rinds. The biggest, juiciest buds in the shop were from the Bubbleberry, but the smell was way too fresh and hydro-artificial for me to take home. The budtender told me everything was done in-house in either organic soil or with a mostly organic hydro mix.

No hash, kief or oil when I was in, though the shop apparently does carry concentrates from time to time. The edibles selection was strictly from third-party vendors like Benjamins and North Shore. One positive is that between 3 and 6 p.m. each day, the shop weighs out 4.2-gram "eighths," so I walked out with a little more than two grams of a questionable OG cut and a mediocre Tangerine Haze cut for $40 even, tax included.

In all, there's nothing wrong with the shop; it's just not super high-quality. But then again, this is the same town that is home to arguably the most average beer on the market, and everyone seems to be okay with that. Pot snobs won't get much out of GAC, but your weird van-driving uncle might.

Page down for reviews and pictures of the meds.


Location Info

Map

Golden Alternative Healing - CLOSED

807 14th St., Golden, CO

Category: General

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14 comments
Sammy Unger
Sammy Unger

Well, I've been known to smoke a bit from time to time but strictly for recreational purposes.

The best thing for me is to go fishing on a fishing charter in Key West. If you've got an aversion to buying a splif, maybe you'd rather book a http:key-west-vacation-adventu... key west fishing charter! It's exhilirating. I don't recommend getting stoned before hooking into a 700 pound blue marlin though!

William Breathes
William Breathes

"I don't recommend getting stoned before hooking into a 700 pound blue marlin though!"

I do.

Jsimmon
Jsimmon

EVERYTHING William Breathes said in this article IS TRUE. This shop is not worth going to. The only thing worth getting is the edibles. I got a couple of sample grams and not only did I see spider mite marks on the leaves that were left on there (the trim job was worse than their product)... I also found powdery mildew on the same bud. I didn't smoke the meds but instead I threw them away. The budtender said they spray Green Cure on the bud as its being trimmed to try to get rid of the mildew.. To me.. these "meds" aren't medical quality.  Do yourself a favor (unless you are looking for edibles) and go somewhere else

Jsimmon
Jsimmon

By the way... That isn't real OG. Seems like the growers have no medical marijuana growing experience. How are shops like these still standing? It's sad to see a shop giving out product that isnt good. especially for people with weak immune systems.

Juxeen
Juxeen

william Breathes seems to push his friends dispensary only. I went to Golden Alternative Care and nothing he said in his review was true except for the furniture. WTF Mr Breathes? Why not give a real review instead of playing favoritism!!!!! Do not listen to this a-hole, he has no idea of what this is really about.

Jsimmon
Jsimmon

Actually William speaks the truth, no matter if he is friends with the owner or not. If you think Golden Alternative Care is a top shop with top shelf meds then you my friend have no idea about marijuana. Keep spending your money there on poor meds then. And I want to know that if good clean meds isn't what it is really about... then what is??????

jenkem
jenkem

since I judge all dispensary's by the chairs, sounds like this will be my new spot

sweet!

Guest
Guest

I was in here two years ago and they had the same crappy green couch and it seems like they still have the same shitty weed only difference now is they can't offer to medicate patients on-site anymore.

18inchChocolateThunder
18inchChocolateThunder

As much as I like shitty dispensaries being exploited, one thing about WB's write-ups have always irk'd me.

He doesn't seem to know the difference between a 'CUT' and a 'Sample.'

Please let me enlighten you so you do not sound so out of the loop in your write-ups.

Cut - comes from the word 'cutting' - means that if you have a specific phenotype of a specific plant, you cut the plant and make a clone out of it.

now,

you can have 100 growers grow out that specific 'CUT' and their finish product is considered their 'SAMPLE' of that cut.

As you can clearly see, this dispensary had some super shitty SAMPLES of an OG. You clearly smoked a bunch of eagle 20 and black flag as their crop went to shit. Infact, that might even be grounds for a lawsuit in my book.

However this shitty dispensaries SAMPLE of OG kush does not represent the CUT that maybe your caregiver has and grows well.

My CUT of Tahoe OG Kush = their CUT of Tahoe OG KushMy SAMPLE of Tahoe OG Kush > their SAMPLE of OG Kush.

got it?

Brian Mo
Brian Mo

Obama: Feds To Go After Newspapers, Radio For Medical Marijuana Ads...

Raising worrisome First Amendment issues, U.S. Attorneys are getting ready to go after newspapers, radio stations and other outlets which accept advertising for California's medical marijuana dispensaries, as the Obama Administration opens up another front in its ongoing war against medicinal cannabis.

After announcing earlier this month that landlords could have their property seized if they rent to dispensaries, the Administration seems to be including media outlets in its threats, as well, reports Michael Montgomery at California Watch.http://www.dailypaul.com/18264...

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