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I-70 pace cars: The latest un-American development that needs to stop

salute flag.jpg
Flickr
The Colorado Department of Transportation has approved police "pace-cars" for Sundays in January to improve the flow of ski traffic on I-70. Let's forget the logistics and the arguments about whether a police car driving at a steady rate while flashing its light will actually "harmonize" traffic, as it hopes to. We don't care if it works or not. We just think its un-American. And that's not the only thing depleting our American-ness. The police pace-car is just one of ten things that make us shout, "I thought this was America!"

Dry County.jpg
Doug Walden
Daily life in some parts of the country.

10. Dry counties
Prohibition was a long time ago and most of us agree it was a terrible idea. Now it's time to get our drink on. We're not going to come to your door with a beer bong and force you to down a few -- though we will if you want us to -- but everyone should have the option. We're looking at you, Mississippi, Kansas and Tennessee. According to Wikipedia, so you know it's true, every county in these three states is dry by default unless otherwise specified.

soda.jpg
Alexander Kaiser
Tastes like freedom.

9. Removing all-American soft-drink products from schools
This might be a good idea from the "saving ourselves from ourselves" school of thought. But listen here, buddy. We'll get as fat as we want any way we want. And if that's by can after can of sugar-laden soda, so be it.

red light camera.jpg
Dave Dugdale
A camera can't issue a ticket.

8. Red light cameras
Not only is this the first step towards an army of robots policing the populace, it's cowardice. You want to give us a ticket, you get out on the street and do it yourself. Until then, we're not paying tickets handed out by a camera, unless the camera comes to our house with a gun. We'll probably fold at that point.


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3 comments
ReluctantTrafficDude
ReluctantTrafficDude

The cameras shown in number 8 are vehicle detection cameras, not red light cameras, and used at a lot of intersections.  Come on Westword, are you trying to scare the public into thinking half the intersections in town have red light detection?

DontWorryBeHopi
DontWorryBeHopi

Honestly I always thought that was a GOOD idea for our freedom as long as it curtailed their ability to pull people over. 

If they are assuming that they are creating a giant Lull whereby everything is good to go in traffic, then we can only hope they are doing so with the intent of pulling nobody over unless somehow somebody fucks that up.

But if we were to be realistic they will probably just use the Lull as an opportunity to be overseers, prison guards with a vast open prairie of herding cars, that they can peer into to make sure we aren't smoking marijuana, for instance... or texting.

So yeah, they are the shepherds, and we are the sheep, they are the cattle dog, and we are the cow. Paint the picture. 

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