Jesus visits Tim Tebow on Saturday Night Live, reveals that Tom Brady is God's nephew

jesusonsnl.jpg
Jesus and Saturday Night Live got it right: Despite the ardent orange-and-blue Tim Tebow fans who filled Sports Authority at Mile High yesterday, the Patriots clobbered the Denver Broncos -- as an SNL sketch in which Taran Killam, as Tebow, and Jason Sudeikis, as an athletic-sox wearing Jesus, had predicted.

The sketch opens in the Broncos' locker room, where Tebow is thanking the team -- and Jesus -- for helping him win the December 11 game against the Bears. "I want to thank you guys for believing in me. I know I started a little shaky out there, but we pulled it out 'cause we stuck together!," he says. "And also, I gotta thank the most important person in my life, my Lord and savior Jesus Christ, because I could not do this without him. Thank you, Jesus!"

As he drops to his knee and begins Tebowing, Jesus arrives on a cloud.

"First of all, you're welcome," he tells the team. "Yes, I, Jesus Christ, am the reason you've won your past six football games.... Here's the thing: If we're going to keep doing this, you gotta meet me halfway out there. Let's face it: It's not a good week if every week, I, the son of God, have to come in, drop everything and bail out the Denver Broncos in the fourth quarter. I'm a busy guy."

He's only helping in the fourth quarter, Tebow asks? Yes, Jesus replies, he's a busy guy -- and "I'm 2,010 years old." But he has some tips for how Tebow can win: "Here's something else you should do before every game... stretch. Get the arm warm. Read the playbook. Do you read that?"

The playbook? "The Holy Bible is my playbook," Tebow responds.

That's great, Jesus says, but "seriously, I'm doing all the work here...Tim's doing his best, God bless him."

And Tebow will have to do better if he wants to win on December 24, because Jesus will be busy celebrating his birthday. As for the game slated for the next day, against the New England Patriots, lots of luck. "If I'm the son of God, Tom Brady's got to be his nephew," Jesus says. "The guy's a miracle worker."

And there were no Broncos miracles at Mile High yesterday, where the Patriots won 41-23.

Here's the sketch:

Tim Tebow doesn't sing much better than he played yesterday. Listen to this eleven-second clip of "Awesome God" in "Tim Tebow is an awesomely bad singer."



Advertisement

My Voice Nation Help
16 comments
Morris Clide
Morris Clide

It is suppose to be  that the defense was tremendous, but there is the intangible "phenomenon Tebow". I guess that deserves discussion about what the Broncos record would have Kyle Orton continued to play. It looked like a losing team with Orton. The D is great, but Tebow say what someone should get some credit for the 7-1. QB is usually judged by victory and defeat plain and simple. The numbers may not be there but the most important. Now this could be the Trent Dilfer argument again, but these reimbursements fourth quarter just make the discussion more interesting.anyway, for more news, we can visit http://www.tebowformvp.com/... thanx

vaundakerr
vaundakerr

Good grief!  Quit picking on his religious beliefs.  Who cares what he believes in?  Everyone has to  believe in something, whether it is himself or a higher power.  Whatever works!  I detest the Broncos, but I respect Tebow for sticking to his beliefs.

ZongHoo
ZongHoo

I never eally even th0ought about it like that before. It oes make sense dude.www.Total-Privacy dot US

Colforbin
Colforbin

who's the gerch laughing in the video. westword, you should get a clip that doesn't have the person recording the video laughing in it.

Greg
Greg

SNL mocking Tebow's public displays of faith on their Christmas show, w/ Christmas songs, Christmas decor, 80 foot Christmas tree is more ironic than funny

Al
Al

The bit starting at 1:57.  Classic.

aerie
aerie

If people don't like their bronze age superstition mocked in public, they should keep it to themselves.

TheDIz
TheDIz

Not really ironic, but REALLY funny!

TinyTim
TinyTim

Yes, Christians have a lock on the holiday.  After all, stringing popcorn is really about turning water into wine; the well-lit Christmas Tree is really just another burning bush, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is really a metaphor about Mary Magdalene leading Jesus through the heathen storm by the light of her infected and glistening snatch.  

I learned all of that in Sunday School.

Guest
Guest

you getting your panties in wad... that's funny

Don't be fooled
Don't be fooled

So everyone should keep quite and out of the way because you don't like them? In this country, and least until lowlife liberals completely run it in the ground, we can still live our lives as we please. They don't need your approval. Get over yourself, nobody else really cares about your likes or dislikes.

Eric
Eric

You got that right!

Now Trending

Denver Concert Tickets

Around The Web

From the Vault

 

Loading...