Medical marijuana dispensary review: Heartland Pharmacy

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This dispensary has closed.

For such a big shop, Heartland Pharmacy's exterior has a low-key vibe. Because it's partially obscured by large trees out front, I drove past it twice before its green-cross sign caught my eye -- and I wasn't even medicated.

Heartland Pharmacy

3950 North Holly St.
Denver, CO
303-468-6100
www.heartlandpharmacy.net

Hours: 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday through Saturday, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday.
Online menu: Yes.
Other types of medicine: Hash, BHO, edibles.
Handicap accessible? Yes.

The shop is in a blue-collar neighborhood just a few blocks east of the Park Hill Golf Club, on a commercial stretch of Holly Street. Though the lot was packed with cars, parking wasn't an issue, and I found a spot right away near the front door. Above the entrance, the owners have posted a quote from one of the most well-known doctors in marijuana, Dr. Dre: "Smoke weed every day." I walked in, handed my card through the security window to the receptionist and was buzzed back into the shop. The woman was friendly and took a second to give me a brief tour of the place before telling me to make myself at home.

I walked in behind two other patients, so there was some time to sit and chill out in Heartland's extremely comfortable and welcoming waiting room. The place feels like the golf-lounge room of a pot-themed country club. Nice, clean purple-suede and green-leather chairs are set up around a pair of matching coffee tables, creating two small waiting areas that both face a huge flat-screen TV. Marijuana movie posters are framed around the wall, including two of my all-time favorites, Up in Smoke and Half Baked, and along the back, exposed-brick wall is a retro tabletop video-game system loaded with arcade classics of yesteryear, including, of course, Pac-Man.

Unique to Heartland (as far as I know), the shop also has a fully functioning Coke fountain, with stacks of cups for patients to use for free. If that's not your ideal way of getting a caffeine fix, try the hotel-style coffee/tea/hot chocolate dispenser. And for stoners like myself with constant munchies, Heartland also provides bowls of Halloween-sized candy and an old-time popcorn machine. I know that lots of nice patient amenities doesn't equate to good herb, which is the most important thing. But it certainly makes the visit more enjoyable -- especially in a place like Heartland, where waiting seems to be part of the drill, as customers are constantly coming and going.

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Heartland's dispensary is connected to its own grow, and the owners have even put a small window into one of the rooms with vegetating plants and clones along the back wall of the waiting room. A few other dispensaries offer something like this, and I think it's a great way for patients to see where their meds are coming from. For some people, it's probably the first time they've ever seen cannabis in any form other than dried flowers.

After about a ten-minute wait, a woman popped her head out of the door leading to the bud bar and called me back for my herb consultation. The bud bar is done up similarly to the waiting room, with heavy wood cabinets, exposed brick walls and dramatic, bright lighting on the bud counters and stock jars on the shelves. A huge glass display case/bar separates the budtenders from the patients, with strains separated into one of three cabinets by price, ranging from $30 on the low end to $45 on the high end. Signing up the shop as your primary center gets you about $5 off every eighth you purchase.

In each cabinet were pre-weighed eighths in small glass jars with the Heartland Pharmacy logo on them, as well as loose buds on display for easy viewing. Larger amounts of herb are kept in tall, cylindrical jars on shelves along the back wall. My budtender, an outgoing woman around my age, gladly pulled down the jars I wanted to see. She seemed to know her stock well, and gave me her take on each strain I asked about, with the exception of a few newer cuts that she admitted to not having tried yet. A manager I spoke with later told me everything is grown in either soil or a soilless medium, and each plant is in its own five-gallon bucket that gets watered by hand. The manager seemed stoked about the upcoming harvest, noting that the center has built up a strong grow team over the last year.

The top-shelf kush strains were all on point in the looks department, with the shop's chunky, trichome-coated Bubba taking the most visually appealing prize. Smell-wise, the Bubba and Ghost were the tops, with a nose-turning funk to both. Also worth mentioning were some beautiful Sour Grape buds with a name-matching smell and the high-CBD Cannatonic, which my budtender admitted she was scared to try because of how couch-locking it has been for everyone else in the shop. The Cannatonic looked intriguing, with long, teardrop-shaped calyxes that oddly reminded me of some amazing outdoor herb I found in Jamaica last year. Middle-shelf herb was also well done from the samples I saw, including the 303 Kush and the Hong Kong Kush. Overall, the buds were worthwhile. Granted, a wispy jar of Lemon Haze was neither lemony nor hazy, but most of the dozen or so jars I went through all had their pluses.

The shop also carries a Sam's Club amount of edibles from third-party vendors like Dr.J's, Gaias Garden, CheebaChews, Dixie and Bakked. Prices seemed decent, from what I have seen of edibles in other shops. In addition, Heartland featured concentrates selling from about $15 a gram for bubble hash to a reasonable $40 for some crumbly, amber-colored BHO.

First-time patients receive an eighth from the middle shelf for $10, which really helped keep the costs down this week. In total, I walked out with a member-priced eighth of top-shelf herb and my discount eighth for right around $45.

Page down for strain reviews and photos.


Location Info

Map

Lightshade Labs

3950 N. Holly St., Denver, CO

Category: General

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16 comments
Budd Jones
Budd Jones

OOOOoooooo Weeeeeee....I took your suggestion William Breathes & got the $10 Eight Deal for 1st time Patients!..Liked what I saw & bought (2) more at full price.I know I always say you have to shop for the best deal...well this is why!Tried (3) strains and they were all Superb! Going back today to stock up w/an OZ!!!!Great Review!Great Medicine!

T23
T23

Is Honk Kong kush something new, or is it just Hong Kong Star(the OG)?

TRC
TRC

FYI, it was Nate Dogg who said "smoke weed every day", not Dr. Dre

Donkey Hotay's Dog
Donkey Hotay's Dog

Who would go into a dispensary with the feds breathing down everyone's necks? Do you really want your patient information gathered by the feds as evidence in a criminal proceeding? Once the feds seize records, who knows what will happen to them.

Danimal-50
Danimal-50

DHD your are safe going to a dispensary....The more that go the more it becomes irreversable.  Columbus sailed off thinking the freaking world was flat, you surely can put your shoes on and head to the dispensary!  Oh yeah and Columbus had hemp on board. Dont live in fear, just stay well protected.  Enough said.   Go get your medical card and enjoy the best weed the planet has ever scene.  I have had one for over a year and am loving it.  I dont drink, i dont smoke tobacco.  I am in control of my life, and use weed sparingly for fun!  It can be done, set your boundaries and go for it !

William Breathes
William Breathes

I know, I know - and I was going to make note of that.. but the shop has it credited to Dr. Dre.

Donkey Hotay
Donkey Hotay

Stoners ... ain't the brightest bulbs on the string ...

High Country Caregiver
High Country Caregiver

Keep it up guest you are sexy when you talk like that.  I like the troll fantasy too!

Guest
Guest

why so defensive troll? did richard's comment hurt your troll feellings? then you go off on some bullshit about freedom. if it's your freedom to troll all day. then it's my freedom to call you a fucking troll. you fucking troll

Rottenelf
Rottenelf

Westword comments are the definition of circle jerk

High Country Caregiver
High Country Caregiver

And who the hell are you Richard to make the rules about how much someone is allowed to use the chat forum on Westword?  There is no limit, many of us love this forum because for the first time in our lives we can speak our minds uncensored.  Freedom is to be celebrated and Donkey_Hotay is doing just that, celebrating life and freedom.  Why don't you go tell the choir how much they're allowed to sing or not!

Richard
Richard

Quixote,

 You have an internet addiction. There's a huge world outside of your walls, I suggest you at least consider exploring it.  Broadening your horizons may open up a new and fulfilling dimension in your presumably lonely life.  I'm just trying to help, I was once a hopeless "webhead" myself.

Donkey Hotay
Donkey Hotay

Puerile Pot Clowns are as Puerile Pot Clowns do.

HTH.

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