Ten reasons Tim Tebow is the most desirable celebrity neighbor
Evidence is mounting that Tim Tebow is a crappy quarterback. He has thrown four interceptions versus the Buffalo Bills and completed 27 percent of his passes in Sunday's loss to the Kansas City Chiefs. But that doesn't mean people think he's a bad guy. In fact, in something called the Zillow Celebrity Neighbor Survey, Tebow was voted the most desirable celebrity neighbor, grabbing 11 percent of adults surveyed, edging Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, at 10 percent. Why did he win? Here are our ten best guesses:
10. He's a virgin: As far as we know, the Chosen One is still saving himself for marriage. That means no late-night booty calls, baby-mama drama, lady pyramids on the front lawn or uncomfortable wife-swap proposals.
9. Neighborhood football games: When it comes time for your street to challenge the next block in flag football, you'll have a secret weapon. Sure, your team will take a beating for the first three quarters, but come crunch time, Tebow will start running over that guy who never shovels his sidewalk and stiff-arming housewives to the ground.
8. Talk about a great designated driver: Say you've had a rough Tuesday morning and you're about six beers deep -- but you really need to make it to a doctor's appointment, pick up your kids at school or get a lift back to the liquor store. Well, Mr. Tebow is definitely sober and surely generous enough to help out any neighbor. Even one who's done a little sinning.
7. He's an on-call savior: It's like living next to a modern-day Noah. If a disaster of biblical proportions comes sweeping through your neighborhood, guess who has room on his ark for you, your dog and your exotic snake? That's right: Tim Fucking Tebow.
6. Athletic advice: The coach of your son's pee-wee football team is a nice guy and all, but he's not a professional football player. Luckily, you have one of those living right down the street. When your son starts chucking the pigskin around, have Timmy come over for a quick throwing-motion demonstration, and your kid will have a firsthand example of what not to do.
Page down for the top five.