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Video: Sh*t people from Denver say

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If you've ever driven beside a sloppy driver and blamed it on his California plates, you might be from Denver. The same thing is true if you can correctly pronounce "Chipotle," only drink craft beer or have been in any of the situations we've captured in the following video. After trolling the Internet for its stereotype of our fair city, we came back empty-handed (other than Shit Tim Tebow Does and Doesn't Say). So we made our own.

Yeah, sure, the trend is a little long in the tooth at this point, but it's not over until the Mile High City sings. Watch the video below for some of our favorite (and most overused) Denver phrases. Can you come up with any we missed? Add your own in the comments section below.

More from our Videos archive: "Sh*t Tim Tebow says leads Colorado's entries in sh*t-talking trend."


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91 comments
Masonm44
Masonm44

Fun video and I'm obviously late to the party, but here are a few missing pieces. Any phrase preceded by the sentence stem: "As a Denver native I..." is sure to be filled with condescension and bullshit - and I should know, as a Denver native and all.

We from Denver cant wait to tell visitors that, "In Denver we have an old saying, 'If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes". As if we are the only place where the weather changes and as if we invented the stupid saying. Every city I've ever been to uses this phase and thinks they invented it.

We in Denver think its endlessly witty to refer to our friends in the shadow of the Flatirons as, "The People's Republic of Boulder". It stopped being original about the time Nixon left office.

Washington Park must never be referred to as such - only "Wash Park".

If you are a truly from Denver, you have no idea what the hell goes on in Northglenn and probably have never been to Thornton on purpose.

And lastly, if you are truly from Denver you know that the new Elitch Gardens Six Flags whatever blows compared to the old Elitches. Further, you may be temped to utilize an acceptable alternative pronunciation: E-leeches.

 

Lonnie Davis
Lonnie Davis

Coming from a Colorado native, I am sick to fucking death of all the queer-ass hipsters infesting this town; I mean what the fuck, could the floodgates of Boulder no longer hold them back? Pretentious faggots, every time I see one cruising around on their fixie (that's a cute bike dipshit, I had one just like it when I was a wee child, learn to use some fucking gears!) I just wanna run them down. I want all the worthless hipsters to move back to the cesspools they came from (Portland, Brooklyn, San Francisco, etc) and quit gentrifying neighborhoods.

Jaee45
Jaee45

Lol Im a Nuyawka Who love Colorado and its peeps!

Sparkninja
Sparkninja

"Hey look its Friday again, might as well drive up to the mountains and fuck up the roads for everyone who lives there!" .....(7 days later)...... "Hey wouldn't you know its Friday again!!!!!" and that's not just people from Denver, but the spores from the surrounding states as well... X0

Markybgone
Markybgone

So true about scary Colfax with It's hookers and crack dealers. I've thought and said the same thing since I was kid.

Privatebecause
Privatebecause

You forgot that natives hate Texans... not the people just their attitude, 

Denvr Rockt
Denvr Rockt

"Elway = God."

"I knew Trey Parker in high school."

"Cutler = the new Elway."

"Cutler = sucks.  Good riddance."

"Hell yeah!  Living the dream!"

"My unemployment insurance is going to run out in four weeks so then I am really going to have to get some kind of job."

"Venti with three shots and extra whip cream."

"Orcut = the new Elway."

"I need it for my chronic back pain, doc."

"My kid is in the gifted and talented program."

"Can I borrow some of your kid's pee?"

Orcutt = sucks.  Good riddance."

"If you wanted to get in this lane, you should have thought of it five miles ago."

"Tebow = the new Elway."

"Can you believe how bad the traffic was backed up on I-70 this weekend?  Never saw that coming!"

"Another pitcher.  And can you put some more bacon and cheese on that?"

"Okay, so maybe Tebow sucks, but don't say anything because ... you know ... God."

"If you want to stop Californicating the Republic of Boulder, just wait five minutes."

"Just a couple beers, ociffer."

"Peyton Manning is going to play for the Broncos and be the new Elway."

"I don't go on the trails.  It's not worth it unless you hike/ski/trek/ride/climb fifty miles into the back country."

"All these damn steps.  I told you we should have brought your grandma's handicapped plates to the concert."

"Wha?  Elway couldn't score us a Manning?  Elway sucks."

"I'm not gonna say she asked for it, but she totally should not have put her face in that close to that dog."

strangelove4Dnomore
strangelove4Dnomore

Where's the line(s):

"Denver is the new Austin!""Denver is the new Seattle!""Denver is the new Santa Fe!""Denver has everything a real big city has...but with the mentality of a small town!""Fuck L.A. people!""Going to Coachella then off to Venice Beach!""Are you at Sput?""BINGO!""The Beats used to hang here""Hey! Give me 20 bucks!""Hey! Call Detox for me!""Hey! How do I get out of here!? And where are my keys!?"etc etc etc

Crazy Love in the Mile High.

JMGill
JMGill

This is a piss poor excuse for discussions and/or comments. All comments that insult people in Denver are taken off as soon as you leave the page. Too harsh for you pansy Coloradoans? I've left 3 comments regarding this video and all 3 have been removed. I hope I've made this comment non-insulting enough to be posted . . . . wimps (oh no I'm sure I'll be deleted again).

JMGill
JMGill

Gee it seems like every comment I make gets dumped as being TOO HARSH for poor Coloradoans. What a bunch of dip sh*ts.

JMGill
JMGill

Denver is full of assholes and idiots! The hole state if full of SH*T!

JMGill
JMGill

FUCK YOU DENVER PIECES OF SHIT -  TAKE CALIFORNIA AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASSES!

Mandy Jo
Mandy Jo

My favorite dive bar is on Colfax...

Mandy Jo
Mandy Jo

It will always be "Mile High Stadium" to me.

Mandy Jo
Mandy Jo

Smells like Greely, is it supposed to snow?

Reneedenver
Reneedenver

Downtown Denver is a shithole, just bar's and shitty expensive places to eat. People piss & shit right out in public. Pedestrians & bicycles, clueless. If it wasn't for alcoholic consumption, it would be a ghost town! :)-

jcn7vc
jcn7vc

"I'll take one of those ones, one of these ones, and do those ones have green chile?""Wanna go to Coors Lab?""Go like 3 miles towards the mountains, take a right, then it's on the mountain side of the street.""Nice boards.  Did you get them at Sniagrab?""Now YOU have a friend in the diamond business.  The Shane Company.  Just off Arapahoe Rd on Emporia St, a half mile east of I-25.  Open every night Monday through Friday 'til 8, Saturday and Sunday 'til 5."

Coloradonative
Coloradonative

texans fuckin suck! we wouldnt hate on them if they just stayed in their damn state... or learned that they arent in their big loud state anymore and how to drive, remember people holding breaks is bad on an icy hill..

Mike N.
Mike N.

I've lived in Denver my entire life, no compelling reason to leave. I'm old enough to remember Owsley white lightning, Good Shepard's Home, and when rush hour was pretty close to an hour. @ Loves Denver, great comment

CJ Powell
CJ Powell

Don't like the weather... wait five minutes!

Thedawg
Thedawg

"Cheyenne made a lot of friends at the dog park today!!!""It took 2 and 1/2 hours to get back to Denver from Copper on Saturday""The best pho is on Federal""CRAP, I forgot my water bottle"

Cora
Cora

You totally forgot, "...but we need the moisture." 

Billw
Billw

What's funny is that the Texans hate the Californians and the Californians hate the Texans.  What I want to know is what is up with all the Floridians?  I see more Florida plates than Texas and California plates now.  They must be running from the New Yorkers.The problem is not where people are from but the fact that they bring so much of their baggage and thier way of doing things with them.  They end up re-creating the hell holes they were trying to get away from in the first place. 

Eiusivedesign
Eiusivedesign

You forgot..... Your dog is part pitbull? /secretly calls the police

Nonya
Nonya

San Diegan here, love your city. For being so close to the stratosphere you sure are pasty. And you guys are really dorky, city hickish, and racist. But it's okay. I hate the drivers here too.

mssaskia
mssaskia

Glendale Ballet.  Hur hur hur.    ::grin::

Lovemydog
Lovemydog

"Oh, there's a leash law?  Yeah, I totally understand, but my dog is super friendly.""I'm traffic too!" says the cyclist weaving in and out of traffic."Let's go sledding now, because the snow will be gone in the afternoon and then we can sit on the patio for happy hour. It's 2-1s at the Snug.""You live in Castle Rock? WHY?"

Jack Mackadoo
Jack Mackadoo

All you dribbling "I hate Denver" snivelers, try living in Utah for a while--you'll move back here so fast your hipster glasses will fall off into the snow.

TryAgainPlease
TryAgainPlease

If this is supposed to be Denver's contribution to 'Sh*t People Say', (approved by Westword nonetheless) perhaps the production value and writing should have been more of a priority-- or at least noticed. Did anyone even look at this video before it was published? 

Back to the drawing board!

DEN2SF
DEN2SF

I lived in Colorado, in Denver for 15 years...the pow pow thing is right but mostly everything else sucked ass! Most things I ever hear my friends talk about is Snow boarding! You forgot about the big blue horse by DIA..re do!!!

Transplant
Transplant

"I bought it during the housing market crash....no, the first one...."

"The Bush Family fucked us with Silverado....no, not the movie..."

"I went for a run on the parkway.....no, not the highway, that big wide median with all of the trees, grass, and dogshit...."

"Take the Valley Highway, north......that's I-25, north...."

"That smell?, the Stock Show is in town...."

AS
AS

I think mentioning the constant road construction that has been going on for 20 years would have been at the top of my list. Coulda played up the MMJ stuff more too. Federal Blvd on Cinco de Mayo. Lakeside. The Stockshow. Added some people of different race... Denver IS diverse ya know.

denedit
denedit

The key word here is SATIRE, people!

Eatmyshit
Eatmyshit

fucking lame! get out of denver dipshits

Bob
Bob

Forgot "No Worries".

Red_lobo
Red_lobo

Do you remember the "real" Elitch's?

Jcn7vc
Jcn7vc

So those three other comments above that added so much to the conversation were taken down?  What a shame, good thing someone put them back up.

WhyRUAllSoAngry
WhyRUAllSoAngry

The "hole" state? Are you sure? Maybe, like you said, it "if". It's difficult to argue in writing with someone who can't spell.

jcn7vc
jcn7vc

"Are you going to Panic at Red Rocks?"

Whatever
Whatever

Interesting that you would call someone racist when the line before that refers to skin color...you racist.  I guess it takes one to know one.

Chrisbostonnadeau
Chrisbostonnadeau

Lived in Denver (Cap Hill) for the happiest 3 years of my life. If you think there's too many hipsters, try effing Portland. Douche/hipster capitol. Anyway, miss the Snug.... a lot.

Ugh
Ugh

 Who would want to try and live in Utah?

5th horse of teh Apocalypse
5th horse of teh Apocalypse

Why would they mention the ghastly visage of suffering and evil that welcomes passengers at DIA.

If anything, locals put that up to SCARE OFF TRANSPLANTS AND TOURISTS. It has nothing to do with the locals, unless you work at the Airport...

Jasongirard065
Jasongirard065

Or if you say "Im going up the hill"and you mean Evergreen or Vail.....

Michael Roberts
Michael Roberts

Love the post, 5th Horse. We're going to make it an upcoming Comment of the Day. Congrats.

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