Peyton Manning: Top Ten things non-sports fans should know about him

Categories: Sports

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Pics, videos below.
Hello, Denver sports noobs. Perhaps you've heard of a new man-about-town named Peyton Manning. No, no -- he's not the guy who won Project Runway All Stars. He's a football player. A quarterback. In other words, Peyton Manning is the new Tim Tebow. Except less overtly Christian and better at doing the football. Still confused? Fear not. Behold our Top Ten Things Non-Sports Fans Should Know about Peyton Manning.

10. Peyton Manning is the Denver Broncos' new, awesome quarterback.

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An incredible simulation.
Peyton Manning recently decided to come play football in Denver. If you think that's not a big deal, you are wrong. Why? Because Peyton Manning is really good at football.

Of all the players in all the land, he has won the NFL (that's National Football League, not National Forensic League, nerds) Most Valuable Player award four times, the most of anybody ever. Sports Illustrated also named him NFL Player of the Decade for the 2000s. Something about passing yards and "immense presence." Are we losing you with all of this sports-talk? All you need to know is that he's way better than Sports Illustrated's College Player of the Decade Tim Tebow, who used to be the quarterback for the Denver Broncos but has been traded to New York. That's good for footballing but bad for single ladies.

9. Kids love Peyton Manning.

In 2009, Peyton Manning won the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award for Best Male Athlete, elevating him to the same exalted status as SpongeBob SquarePants, the Jonas Brothers and High School Musical 3: Senior Year.

8. Peyton Manning loves kids back.

Wait, that came out wrong. What we mean is that he loves helping kids. He comes to Denver from Indianapolis, where he played for a football team called the Indianapolis Colts. While in Indianapolis, he and his wife Ashley donated an undisclosed sum of money (read: a lot of money) to the St. Vincent Children's Hospital. It was so much money that they renamed the hospital the Peyton Manning Children's Hospital at St. Vincent.

7. Peyton Manning may or may not have two kids of his own.

Ashley Manning allegedly gave birth to twins -- a boy and a girl -- last year. Neither she nor her husband confirmed the birth to the media. Ashley went so far as to ask the Indianapolis Star to not report the news. Judging from the video above, it's either true or Peyton Manning is a baby stealer and somebody should issue an Amber Alert.

6. Peyton Manning most definitely has a brother.

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Eli and Peyton Manning with their dad, Archie.
Actually, he has two, but only one of them is famous. His name is Eli Manning and he does the football too. He is the quarterback for the New York Giants. The subject of whether little brother Eli is better at football than big brother Peyton is hotly debated. Less debated, but equally hot, is the subject of who is better looking. The answer? Tim Tebow.

Page down for our top five.

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