Medical marijuana dispensary review and video: 420 Wellness on Alameda

LA Kush: $40/eighth
Pretty, light-green calyxes almost hidden by the sandy-colored trichomes that were dusted all over the buds. Long, burnt-orange pistils crept up and curled around the bud, giving it a glowing orange effect. Broken up, it had a tart, rubbery Kushiness that lingered in my nose for a few seconds before drifting away. The herb looked clean broken down under a scope and pulled apart nicely, finding that well-cured space between moist and too dry. It burned well, too. Smooth, with a flavor that lasted through the first three or four hits before the bowl ashed out to a fine white powder. LA Kush tends to hit me right between the eyes about five minutes after smoking a bowl, and this sample proved no different. Very relaxing, tension-relieving body buzz with a mellow sense of contentment on the side for good measure. Decently priced at $40 an eighth, this sample was honestly better than I expected walking out of the shop.

Sour Diesel: $40/eighth
I snagged this mostly because of the consistency of the buds themselves, which, as you can see, are pretty well developed but altogether shakey. Big, fat, BB-round calyxes stack on top of each other with this sample, however, and I can see how they were easily knocked off. Great lime green color with yellow accents from the crystals and nearly-pink hairs here and there between the sugar leaves. It had a solid mix of new sneakers and tennis balls to the smell that came through on the first hit or two before charcoaling out and becoming harsher to puff. Burned to a clean ash, though, and overall it was enjoyable for a week as daytime medication that lifted me up off my ass, got me moving and, after a few hours, made me hungry as a hostage. Due to the condition of the buds, it would have been better priced about $5 less than the $40 shelf. But for the most part, it was worthwhile cannabis whose quality made my final menu item all the more disappointing....

"Shatter BHO:" $20/gram
I don't even know what this shit is or what it has to do with cannabis, but it sure as hell isn't a consumable product by any stretch of the imagination. This so-called shatter wax BURST INTO FUCKING FLAMES and spewed a thick, noxious black cloud of smoke and melted plastic-like ash all over my office when I threw it down on a hot Ti nail. Thankfully I was just doing a test dab, or I would have inhaled whatever that was as well as lit my damn face on fire from the eight-inch flame that shot off the nail. It was so effed that I repeated the test on video for you all to see:

My budtender mentioned on my way out that it might "smell funny" when smoked. That was the understatement of the year. It smelled more akin to crack than cannabis. Like a burning plastic bag. This is pure garbage and gives real medical concentrates an awful, awful name. We haven't heard back from the dispensary on what exactly was in the solvent; we'll update this post with clarification if staffers respond. In the meantime, if any of you have some of this stuff in your possession, THROW IT OUT.

Unfortunately, something like this is enough for me to not want to go back into 420 Wellness again. If the people at the shop don't care enough that they put obvious crap like this on their shelves, there's no telling what is going on in their grows -- regardless of how good their flowers may appear.

William Breathes is the pot pen name for Westword's medical marijuana dispensary critic. Read back on two-plus years of his reviews in our Mile Highs and Lows blog and keep up with all your marijuana news over at The Latest Word.